When I was a young kid I was tested for autism because I was socially immature and didn't get along well with other kids(wouldn't talk always got a F in participation even in highschool) they just thought I had ADD and was severely socially awkward. When I was in school I always had special reading classes and speech classes because i guess I couldn't comprehend reading the the state tests well enough(I am fine at it now). But as I get older I wonder if there is something wrong or if it's just an excuse to procrastinate in life and school. I am in college right now and I am having a hard time with everything. Grades, concentration(I never could focus), I haven't even made any friends in 2 years(I never was good at making friends). I attribute this to being socially immature even after all these years I still have issues with social interaction. I am always the awkward one in the group who either doesn't talk or talks about something weird and everyone new who meets me thinks I am odd(most assume I'm "slow"). I have a high IQ and always have been "gifted" even though I had reading and social issues. I am wondering if I am just making myself think that I have a problem or if I actually do. I have anxiety
Inability to focus
Never could look people in the eyes(it makes me very nervous)
Severe change(changing jobs) makes me nervous
Extremely impulsive
I never liked children or people my own age.
I get frustrated when I am touched or hugged to long(makes things hard in my relationships I'm always the not clingy enough one)
I cannot be in a room with to many people at a time even bumping into then sends me into frustration and anger, I usually have to leave the room.
I CANNOT hold a conversation, not organized atleast, I cannot tell stories very well
I procrastinate horribly(like every college student does)
I have already seen a psychiatrist and he didn't help he told me nothing and gave me meds that made me depressed and insane. Now I don't have the means, I just wanna know if anyone has these problems and what it could be and what can help me, it's destroying me at this point in my life. Ps: they marked off autism when I was. Kid only because I showed affection towards my parents, as I grew older I no longer liked hugs and kisses they freaked me out and I am not sure why, when I was little my mom said I used to sit Infront of the tv and rocked but she always just thought I was unique lol.
09 Jan 2015, 1:48 am
