Trying to come to terms with family rejection.

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I feel my parents loved me but they didn't deep down accept me. Since both of my parents have passed, my siblings see no need to keep in contact with me which is fine with me since I won't grovel and accept the status-quo of how we interacted before I knew I had Aspergers.

Over the last several posts on this thread, does your reference to a "normal" family mean a family without someone on the Autism spectrum?

There are lots of families out there, that are not very functional. They have drama, they are toxic and mean to each other. The old idea of basic family being dad, mom, 2.5 kids, a dog and a picket fence- does that exist much at all? Most parents, families try hard and do the best they can. Struggles come, sometimes they go, sometimes the struggles stay awhile.

At least here on the Wrong Planet, you have friends, who may live hundreds of miles away, or more, who understand the struggles and generally offer decent advice and support.

Thank you for the investment you make in each others lives and well-being.

When I say "normal" family, I mean one where they actually love their children, adopted or not. THAT, to me, is normal. The situation I grew up in after age 11 was anything but normal; I've never heard of a mother telling her child that "unconditional love is BS" unless that mother truly hates the child or is severely mentally ill.

It's good to know I'm not alone, some of the stories here I could've written almost word by word.

I come from a family where the members pick and choose who from the family they want to be in touch with and are cruel to the rest. The members that are socio-economically successful are the popular ones who can say they have family. As an aspie, I'm of course an outcast.

As some pointed out here very wisely, I wouldn't fare better if I did have a relationship with them, because their relationship when there is one is totally phony and lacking real caring. They just all try to appear successful and attractive to be in touch with so they will have a few people to show for relatives. Lots of competing for the attention of other family members, since true caring cannot be had. Lots of trying to get away with money from members who have it. All based on a pyramid of sycophancy. An exclusive social club you have to work very hard to belong to and keep up with. Any bits of attention/caring are hard-earned and never secure.

I left them when I hit my forties and suddenly my aspie naivete broke and I started seeing hidden stuff among humans. No one minded a bit, I was the black sheep all my life anyway.

But with no friends either due to social impairment caused by autism and a dysfunctional family growing up, life is a constant wondering whether it's worth it to go on. Were it not for my devotion to stray cats, I guess I wouldn't be here. So I set out to keep them alive and they ended up keeping me alive.

Interesting how each other's avatars are so meaningful to us!

So then Evam if you didn't define normal as one without someone on the spectrum, how do you define normal?