What irritates me the most on this forum

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i'm a serious, over-sensitive person. i constantly have to remind myself that things other people say tell me more about them than about me.

Yeah, me too.

It seems especially pointless in my job because we are field sales reps and basically manage our own territories. The supervisor position is redundant. Or rather, the pretense that they have any real supervisory capacity is pointless, because they serve more of an administrative purpose in getting us supplies, compiling reports, and filtering communications. The company needs to just stop pretending that they do anything to supervise us.



Yep, they basically just want to do things that make them look good. Usually in my job it's the company coming up with these projects though, not the supervisor. The supervisor just plays along with it because they want to get promoted.

And the company is just totally obsessed with useless data of all kinds...they generate all kinds of statistics on how we get our work done and how we use our time, which feels like micromanaging even though you don't have an actual person standing over you telling you to work faster. In a way it's worse than that, because it just comes out as a set of numbers on a report, and no one sees what you actually do.



That's asinine. We aren't even supposed to send communications directly to anyone else but the supervisor. He then redirects everything to the person it needs to go to. And then rather than that person responding back directly, they respond to the supervisor and he forwards the response. Again...redundancy????



That's a good move. I wish it would work in my situation.



I understand completely, I have seen things like that too.

I have also seen, and this is kind of sad, black supervisors totally suck up to older white MALE employees.

I feel like in my case, I am probably the youngest person on the team, look younger than my age, and I am female, so I'm probably looked at as the bottom rung person who needs to be bossed around the most, so the young supervisor can prove his manly authority. Which is ironic because I have actually been in my position longer than anyone else on the team.

Yes, me too. And I also have to remind myself that most of the time these people don't really know me anyway. Somehow it always surprises me when people don't "get me."

i hate being patronized. even if someone has more experience than me in a specific area, i don't think that gives them the right to go on massive ego-trips at my expense. its really nice when someone has more experience than me and is insightful, kind, and humble about it.

i haven't been on this forum for more than a day so this is drawing from "real life" circumstances and other forums i've been on.

That kind of thing bothers me a lot in real life because the speaker will often be somebody that I may have to interact with repeatedly.

But that kind of thing doesn't bother me on the internet. This site has 80000+ members. It seems to me that the vast majority are nice people, but the very nature of the site is to be a place for communication among people with low empathy and below average social skills. It's surprising that it works as well as it does. When somebody posts something really stupid or impolite I think it's often best to just leave them standing there with their foot in their mouth. If I get upset and post a long argumentative reply then it shows an undeserved concern for their opinion and a lack of faith in the ability of other members to see their obvious foolishness.

I've met very few people in life who merit that kind of faith.

Out of respect for your opinion I'm not going to let you have the last word on that. There are plenty of good people here. I suggest that you post your messages for them and forget about the rest.

No problem, I'll forget about you as soon as I'm done posting this.

It makes me sad to see spats like this erupt. I value most people's opinion here, those that don't speak to me I'll pass by unless it outright offends me, and usually even then.

It's a pretty safe bet, when a person starts a thread off by saying something irritates them, it is not going to be all fluffy bunnies and rainbows. It will touch a nerve with people who have a tendency to do the irritating thing, and so a few will come along to do the very thing that is being talked about, just to prove that they can, which is what is happening here. That's all par for the course, silly but bound to happen. What's really foolish though, is when people expect the OP not to respond in kind. What it amounts to is feeling threatened when a person dislikes something that you do, and wanting to control that person's behavior. You think if you chasten someone, they will fall in line with your expectations. It may work on some people, but it won't work on me.

I also find this kind of treatment very frustrating. I am 61 years old, and hate it when young, inexperienced people (no matter if in life, work or whatever) talk to me like I know nothing and they know everything, and dismiss anything I might have learned simply by life experience.

However, I have a theory as to why that seems to be more common these days.

It seems to me that in the more recent generations it became important to build a child's self esteem with the phrase, "good job" no matter how good or lousy the "job" really was. If every thing they do is a "good job" that means there is nothing left for them to learn, that they never make a mistake, nothing they can do to improve, and therefore they know everything. That also means you know nothing because they know and do everything perfectly. This becomes dangerous when they grow up and perhaps go into fields like health where a lack of knowledge can be devastating.

And to the person who had the following in their post:

Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

OMG I love it.

YES. I think that has a lot to do with it. And yeah it's especially dangerous in health care.

I was born in 78, which I guess was roughly on the cusp of gen x and y. I don't know if you've seen this behavior in my age group. I came up in a rural school system that was kind of behind the times anyway. But going into the 90s there was a lot of emphasis put on psychoanalyzing us. I don't remember things being like you describe though. I remember teachers shaming students as much as they could get away with. And even if you did a good job on something, they would still find something to criticize about it. They were more interested in seeing that you had followed a certain process than in the actual result.

What comes through the public school system follows federal government agendas and directives. In my age group, we were conditioned to just be compliant and follow instructions...or else you would be counseled a lot, and probably end up on some kind of medication. In general, we weren't brought up to have a lot of confidence in ourselves.

It really seems like the millennials were brought up purposely to be the next rank of leadership in society, to keep other people in compliance with the "new order." It's interesting...I have seen baby boomers and older gen x people in management, then it skips right down to the millenials and now they are the ones favored for promotions. I see very few gen y, or younger gen x people in management anywhere, ever.

The line about the tomato being a fruit, that's Olive Oil Mom's sig, and I've always liked it too.

What sort of involvement in "health" are you thinking of?

When I read this, I immediately think of doctors and nurses and their intense initial and recurring professional training is nothing like this.

Agreed

I'm 22 and I view all 7.X billion humans as kids. Don't worry, that's *mostly* a compliment.

Whenever people try to 'school' me on how to live a 'proper' life, and it becomes obvious that they have no real experience dealing with adult issues (i.e., children, marriage, career, military service, home-ownership, et cetera), I tend to think of them as kids, and will even address them as "Kid".

Is this rude? Maybe.

Is it fair? Probably.

Is it an honest assessment of another person's adolescent idealism? Most likely, until proven otherwise.

Of course, knowing that the people admonishing me for 'improper' behavior are likely half my age or less, and have likely never been homeless, served in the military, or had children of their own, makes their "kid-ness" even more obvious.