Have you ever been bullied on WP?

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Makes sense to me. In every bullying situation that I can remember, there was definite intent to either harass, intimidate or hurt me.

I think there is always a target with a bully.

For #3 - Bullies are people too and may have a change of heart at some point. I was bullied on Aspies Central by two people that I had been friends with for 1.5 yrs. We got into a disagreement about something and it went bad after that with them saying saying things about my NTness when that wasn't even what we were talking about. I had really trusted them as friends and I couldn't believe the argument got to the point it did. But to me what they were doing was bullying me in my own thread that I had made to try to help my Aspie friend who was having trouble accepting his Aspie diagnosis. Even after all they said to me I still hoped there was a way we could all talk and apologize and start over, but I have never received an apology from an Aspie that I got into an argument with. Just having both sides apologize to each other (for a fight even taking place and feelings being hurt) can help friendships and relationships immensely. I tried to convey that to the Aspies on that site and they never understood it. Not being able to apologize in an NT relationship will ruin alot of those relationship/friendships. I lost those two as my friends - one that was like a second father to me and the other one actually shared the same bday with me. I would have apologized in a second just to fix things and now there's nothing to fix anymore and I can never try to make it right again because one of them banned me. I still cry about it because it hurts me so bad that they would just let a friendship go like that. I apologized several times to other Aspies on that site for an argument they started but never received an apology back. An argument takes two and a one-sided apology doesn't work. I don't know if I can explain it any more than that. I do know that I was told by an Aspie the same thing that you said - they don't think they should apologize if they think they are right. But if you have a disagreement, both parties think they are right, otherwise an argument wouldn't be happening. I tell you, once two people apologize during a fight, everything changes and it will usually de-escalate - at least for most NT's. Me and my friend Mary have had some real fights - bad ones- and I always make sure that by the end we both apologize for having the argument in the first place and that has always kept the friendship going. That way no one parts ways negatively thinking about each other.

Wow, that's crazy that somebody who was your friend wouldn't apologize for hurting your feelings. If I care about somebody or if I like them or even if I just simply don't dislike them and I hurt their feelings accidentally, then I will apologize. I won't say that I was wrong if I don't think I was, but that doesn't mean I can't apologize for hurting someones feelings. I may have come across the wrong way, I may have snapped at them, or they may have even taken what I said completely wrong and I wasn't mean to them but I'll still say "I'm so sorry I hurt your feelings. I didn't mean to do that". That is sincere and it's true. I don't see why anyone would have a problem doing that, apsie or NT.

However, if somebody pisses me off and they aren't someone important to me, then I won't apologize for it even if I didn't mean to do it. Then again, I don't think most people would do that, aspie or NT.

Now I will argue and disagree with people, but I expect them to do the same back towards me if they disagree with me.

I hate that your friend treated you that way. That sucks.

nurseangela –That is an intense story. Thanks for sharing. It’s been a long time since I have been bullied by people I thought were friends. If I am not mistaken, it was during my childhood. It certainly was an unpleasant experience. If I remember correctly, it included thoughts of: bewilderment, astonishment and betrayal.

Interestingly, ever since, I have been more selective about who I apply the label “friend” to.

"Bewilderment, astonishment and betrayal". Telling about it just brings the feelings all back again. I try to forget it because as soon as I think about it I just start crying all over again. I don't think I'll ever get over it. I trusted them. The one who was like a father - I went to him first whenever I had good or bad news. He knew everything about me, my Ma, my friends, he was there when I lost my job and went through the scariest time of my life. He helped me when I had to talk to someone about my Ma's illness. He helped me with a college report that I got an A on. We watched Big Brother and talked about it for hours. I'll never get over it because I don't understand why it happened. Why he got mad at me and said that my thinking was wrong because I was an NT and how problems are always caused by NT's and that I didn't belong there. And my other Aspie friend that I am really missing right now and I don't even know if he's ok or not was the only one who stuck up for me and I will never forget that, ever. He will always have a place in my heart. He actually had his account deleted after I got banned. My Aspie exfriend didn't need to ban me. I lost many friends there because of that and have pictures that I can't get to and see anymore. I'm never going to get over it. No matter who a person is - NT or Aspie - it should never be used against them because a person can't change that about themselves. That is who they are.

While bullying does happen here on WP, I think it's an over-used and loaded word, too often an attempt to label someone as beyond the pale rather than a truthful description of behavior. I certainly notice that a lot in PPR, where strongly disagreeing with someone and pointing out that they don't seem to know much about the subject being discussed is often described as "bullying", complete with Haven threads fishing for insults against the person who called out the ignorance. I think that's gotten worse in recent years, but that could just be me.

It looks like, in any discussion, rationality has to be avoided at all costs. Otherwise, it'd be too easy to agree on something, and what would be the fun in that?

One member had some lovely things to say to and about me:

http://imgur.com/s6U1xbq

+

As well as other personal attacks beforehand. I reported what they said and fortunately the user is now permanently banned.

Whoa. Disagreement should not include that kind of vitriol and out of control fury. I don't mind being disagreed with but I will respond to threats. Good for you Catlover for reporting that person.

^ Thank you

Nobody here has ever cared that much about me

If I was ever bullied on WP then I didn't notice it. Like IRL, I don't really engage much.

Yes, I have been, which is why I have been away from the site and the problem I reported seems to not have been dealt with, so I fail to see why I would continue using these forums.

I was subjected to a totally unprovoked verbal attack, and was threatened with physical violence, within a fortnight of joining this forum. I was not happy with how the situation was dealt with, which is why I no longer post here. I've made an exception for this one post.

Yes. Somebody attempted to ridicule me and I stood up to them. Now I try not to engage with people much.

I don't really worry if one person bullies, it's when everyone does it that things get really uncomfortable. I've known people who have rallied people against one specific individual too. I think people on WP usually see through that sort of thing though.