What will happen to me when my parents are gone?

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There is no support system where I live. (Southern U.S.)
People here don't even believe in depression, much less autism.
When my parents die, I'll be homeless and will slowly starve to death.
I have other family, but they're all extremely conservative and would see me starve to death in the woods to "teach me a lesson."
So what do I do?
Government aid is out of the question, I've already tried that and got laughed out of the SS office...

The first couple times you apply for SSI they will refuse you figuring if you really need it you wont give up trying. go see a disability attorney, many charge only for a percentage of what back payments SSI will owe you from the time you file till the time you get paid, SSI will more likely accept you with an attorney fighting for you..

Exactly. They laugh everyone out of the SSI office the first time. It's what they do. They are hoping you won't come back. If you ever get on SSI, you should also expect to get a letter in the mail every few years declaring that you don't really need it, and that you'll be kicked off the system soon. You'll have to reprove that you need it every time. Its a pain in the ass, but it is there.

I think your question is really legit. One thing, please sit down and have a real conversation with your parents about end of life issues. Do they have wills? How about a living will? (A living will speaks to how they want it handled if they are in a coma and can't make their own medical decisions.) Do your parents have the resources to help you hire a lawyer now to get you set up in the eventuality of their death? If they have a lawyer for their will, this same person might be able to help with your situation.

It's also a good time to start gathering a paper trail as proof that you have a long term disability.

There are lawyers who specialize in helping people gain SSDI insurance. If you can manage to hire one of them, that would be huge. Its worth gathering funds to do so. People who use lawyers have WAY better success rates.

It's a real problem for everyone who has developmental disabilities - the lack of adult services and the reality that parents get old and cannot continue care.

Once your parents die, and I hope this is years and years from now, you will be seen as more of a priority by the disabilities office, so at least there is that. If you can't make any progress now, you should try again if you do find yourself on your own.

I would like to debunk some myths about SSI / SSDI. You don't have to get denied even on the first try, if you really have the inability to work. What you do need to do is be extremely thorough documenting every medical, physical or mental problem you have, the dates of service, who seen, where, diagnoses, etc. Then you also need to write very detailed descriptions of functional problems, such as "can't walk more than ten steps without assistance." "When I get up, it takes me about two hours before I can face taking a shower due to the sensory problems I have." "Due to agoraphobia, I can't leave the house alone. I have not left the house in two years unless there was a support person with me."

I have succeeded in getting disability adjudged for two family members and myself ON THE FIRST TRY. No appeals, no lawyers. Now, either I'm some kind of genius, or more likely, you need to truly be disabled and you need to demonstrate it, and I have simply figured out how to do that. I will grant you that the amount of paperwork you need to provide is daunting, so you take your time and get assistance from a relative or friend or social worker if you can arrange that.

When Social Security asks to review your case after a few years, that's called the government not wasting tax dollars. Because sometimes people are unable to work but over time, get better.

I think the adversarial position that people assume exists between disabled folks and the Social Security Administration takes is not really there.

As to the other matter - what will happen when your parents die? - ask your parents to look into something called a "Special Needs Trust" or "Supplemental Needs Trust" if you do get on disability, or simply a trust, to leave you in their will. If there are no assets, there is no point, but even a modest estate can benefit from this arrangement, which you need to hire a lawyer to set up. My other advice is that you can begin learning some independent living skills - managing a checkbook, buying groceries, cooking, renting an apartment - so you won't be left high and dry when your parents do pass on. I wouldn't rely on relatives such as you describe. Even people with pretty bad autism and slightly below-average intelligence can learn to live independently, sometimes with support from a disability agency.

Good luck, and try to take an optimistic attitude rather than a pessimistic one.

Do you want to become more independent of your parents?
Are you able to learn a skill and try to support yourself?
At 31, you are not too old to do this.
Talk to your parents about what you can do now to prepare yourself for your future life.
Your parents might be worrying too what will happen to you when they die.

Surely there is a food stamp program in your area? That at least will prevent you from starving to death.

Does the local housing authority have a Section 8 program? Put your name on the waiting list a year or so (depending on how long the list is, which the housing authority should be able to give you some idea about) before you think you'll have to live independently. That will help you to pay rent.

Can your parents save some money for you? Even a little could help you survive while you pursue other avenues.

Are the woods off-limits? Could you stay there for a while with camping gear? That can also be a temporary solution.

If there truly is no support system, have your parents put away a hundred bucks for a train ticket so that you can get out of there after they die.

I agree with all of your post and advice here Bea, as I think it makes sense to fully detail precisely why need exists and in which ways. But with respect, the following sentence, while it may apply in the US, sadly isn't as true for other countries (I say this just in case people in the UK read this too):

You may be correct about where the OP lives, but those of us in the UK have a lot of basis to believe there is in fact an adversarial element to our own system, unfortunately. There have been some very nasty cases and our particular tide has turned regarding general views on needing welfare help, both from the system itself and even other members of society.

Nah. She's just gloating that she's worked well with the system. And actually, if I needed to get SSI, I would totally listen to her, as she's got some good ideas on how to do so. But the support system here in the US is very adversarial. They would rather spend $100 proving someone isn't hungry than $10 buying them a meal. We actually have the money here to provide universal minimal standard-of-living money. But we wouldn't be able to afford to do that and continue to spend millions of dollars tracking down people who are working the system. So, we continue playing this ridiculous game. The US system is just as messed up as the UK's system.

I agree Bea's advice on how to prepare oneself to deal with the system is excellent and will arm a person well.

But yes, the UK system treats its applicants like lower forms of life to be defeated, very adversarial, because the massive budget cuts mean they are pretty much mandated to try to deny as many people as possible. It is most certainly a bitter fight for many over here.

Sad to hear that the US system can be that way too.

Being on this for a while, I never got rejected on the first try (only once for SSDI but the second time I got approved) and I don't get any letters in the mail having to prove my disability. But my husband is going through that. He has to see doctors again to prove his disability and now we are getting medical bills which we cannot pay right now because of a dental bill and then another bill he has to take care of for Kaiser which they really did nothing and now he has a Providence bill. Plus the fact it's close to Christmas so I was thinking only buy our kids only a few presents this year but he said we have money in our kids accounts so we can use their money we get from Social Security for them and he has been putting some away in there. Plus my car because I have to keep it maintained to keep water out. One of the car gaskets decided to come off at the corner. Bad time of the year because of unexpected costs.

But why is my SSI/SSDI experience different and everyone else seems to get rejected the first few times and having to prove their disability every few years.

Edit: After reading Bea's reply, that is probably why. I talked about what troubles I had at my other two jobs with co workers and how hard it is for me to even find work but it all came off as me blaming my problems on everyone but myself and how it's society's fault that I have problems.

My experience adversarial for invisable disabities, much less so for visable ones.
I was rejected twice for ASD and the second time three disability lawyers refused to take my case all because I made too much money in the 1980's which according to the law "proved" I am able to get employment. I suffered a very mild stroke and got it within a few months. I will discuss services related to my cancer situation when I post my health update later this month.

Don't you have good medical proof dating all the way back to your childhood? If you gave them that, it probably made your disability seem far more legitimate and harder to deny than people who only have recent medical records.