No drive or motivation

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I have no drive or motivation to do anything. I've never wanted to grow up. I've always tried to avoid it as much as possible. My life was great as a kid. Now it just seems to get harder. I am now in my fifth year of college. I've only ever had one job that I've had for 6 years now. A lot of my peers have already graduated college and are already living on their own. Some are already married and have kids. I can't imagine being in their positions right now. I've changed my major 5 or 6 times. The thing is is that I don't have many interests. When I do develop a new interest it is only temporary and ends up going away. I am more immature and child-like in the sense that I don't act or think like an adult. I know how to behave in public and all that, but I just don't think about finances, preparing for the future, and other things that adults are supposed to do and think about. I have no intentions of ever getting married or having kids. It is a lot harder for me to find work than a neurotypical. I just have no motivation or drive to do anything. I am doing ok in school but not great. I have ADD, anxiety disorders, depression, along with Asperger's. I feel like no one understands me. Everyone just expects me to be like everyone else and have everything accomplished by a certain age. It is frustrating. I want to be successful and do my best in everything that I do, but no one understands the challenges and struggles that I face. I'm not making excuses, things just don't come as easy or naturally to me as they do to everyone else.

I can relate in some ways. I am not on the spectrum but I do have depression and OCD.

20s are a hard and weird time. I have friends with houses, kids, and husbands ... I also had friends the same age who don't have jobs, or spouses, and live with their parents.

Just recently I learned to not compare myself to others. I used to get so depressed every May watching people my age graduate from college, because I dropped out. I'm definitely not ready for children and I'm not in a place financially to buy a house.

Not to mention, a lot of people may seem like they have it all together but they really don't. Social media paints a pretty picture.

As far as lack of motivation, I definitely relate. It's not laziness, it's just, I have no desire. It's hard to get motivated. And when I finally do, it's at a totally wrong time. I can't tell you how many times I've done the dishes at 11pm.

Sorry for talking about myself so much. Also, sorry this is long. I have no advice for the lack of motivation.

But I think you just have to stop comparing yourself to other people your age. I know it's hard. Focus on your own goals. You should be proud of yourself for going to college, and for having a job. Maybe after you graduate, you'll get a different job. And after that, you'll get an apartment. Maybe a spouse and kids aren't for you, maybe you'll get a pet, or not. Or, you could meet someone and fall in love. You never know. One thing at a time. But, you do have to try and put yourself out there. Opportunities don't usually fall into people's laps.

Msb Kyle



What subjects did you major in? Why did you change majors?

In some ways I am similar to you, in that I ain't got no drive or motivation.

My childhood, however, was not "great".

Where do you work? What kind of job do you have?

And I took six years to get a BA and it was just Cognitive Science

Thus far, I have never wanted a spouse or children

And I am 34 years old.

Furthermore, ain't got $$ for having a family

The world contains plenty of unwanted children

Overpopulation problem



Why should I purposely go out of my own way, to compound the overpopulation problem

Furthermore I am too lazy to have children

There is no law that says you have to have children

In the United States, half of marriages end in divorce

So whatever

Anyways yeah. In that way I do not think like an "adult". Maybe I should



Try to identify causes you care about

That could motivate you

For example, some people care about human rights, education, technology, politics, etc



The other thing is that I have few or no interests either

Nothing appears to be worth the effort

When I first started college 5 years ago, my major was accounting. After taking some business and accounting classes and not doing too well in them, I realized that Accounting or anything Business was not for me. Then I changed my major to computer science. I took some computer classes and did fairly well. Some of the requirements in computer science was taking some hard math classes. I scrapped that major and then changed it to Sociology after taking some sociology classes. I liked Sociology but then I discovered I also liked History. I changed my major again to History which is still my major, but now I am losing interest in that as well. I can't change my major again because I will put myself even farther behind. To be honest, I never really wanted to go to college. I only went to college because my family saved up all this money since I was born and they kind of expected me to go. I've never wanted kids. I am an antinatalist and I think that it is selfish to bring a child into this world. Plus I am too lazy and don't have the money to have kids anyway. I'm not attracted to women so I don't have to worry about it. I've seen many divorces in my family and have no desire to get married whatsoever. Growing up is something that has never been ingrained in me. I've just always wanted to be the person I've always been and not what society expects me to be when I reach certain ages.

Msb Kyle

If you do not want to get married, nobody can make you get married. No arranged marriage.

If you do not want children, nobody can legally make you. Rape is a felony.

You claim that it is "selfish" to have children. But you can't measure selfishness .

Ten people might do the same thing (have children) and have ten different motives

Sometimes people do things for reasons that they are not aware of. Subconscious


Anyways, I think that, everyone is selfish some of the time. Nobody is selfish all of the time. It is not possible or practical to never be selfish.

More than one precious lil "person" had the nerve to tell me that "you don't care about anyone except yourself". And they told me they knew me pretty well

Granted, I am not a Mother Theresa. But they were not either

Anyways maybe they were biased against me, due partly because of autism symptoms

Selfishness isn't always a bad thing, but we are all selfish in a way. Donating to a charity can be selfish because you want to feel good about yourself. That isn't a bad thing. Having kids in my opinion is selfish whether you have good intentions or not. If you want to have kids because you want to give them a good life or because you want to give them a better childhood than you had it is still selfish because you are using the words "I want" making it about you. The child does not exist so you are bringing them into a world where there is suffering, uncertainty, aging, and death. Even if the child was an accident it is selfish because you had to get your sexual pleasure in. I may be biased, but I don't have a whole lot of positive things to say about life and this world. I don't like the way life works and I don't like the way the shape the world is in. I have a pessimistic view on things. I didn't ask to be born so I'm sure as hell not going to force another human being to be brought into this world. I wish more people would do the same.

msb kyle

everyone is biased. you are biased, and i am biased. everyone is biased. an opinion, is, by definition, biased.

you did not "ask to be born", but nobody asked to be born. some people are glad they are alive. some people are not so glad they are alive.

anyways though, i think the real problem is unwanted children. parents that do not have the $$, time, skill, or emotional resilience to raise children, have children anyways. but whatever.

there is no law that says that you must have children. nobody is holding a gun to your head, telling you to have children. nobody is financially bribing you to have children.

plenty of people do not have children. plenty of NTs do not have children.

people spend a long time in school, after undergrad, often delay having children. sometimes they do not have children.

if you do not want to have children, then do not have children.

nobody has a legal right to force you to have children.

however, to say that label "Having kids" as "selfish", regardless of intention, outcome, context, peer pressure, cultural norms, et cetera, sounds, to me, a bit vague.

plenty of people have kids, and that does not necessarily make them any more "selfish" than people without kids.

anyways, like i said - i am 34 years old right now. no spouse. no prospective spouse. not dating nobody. no children. do not want children either.

although, maybe it is "selfish" for me to not have children, because that is "using the words 'i want' making it about you".



anyways yeah. though.

by no stretch of the imagination am i Mother Theresa.

at many times, in many ways, i am way too selfish. even according to my own standards. (fine).

but not having children does not give me a Boy Scout merit badge for selflessly successfully refraining from having children .

I lack a lot of drive and motivation I used to have. By the time I make my nearly two hour commute to work, I'm ready to turn around already.

my drive and motivation are so low, that i ain't got no job.

looked for a job for a long time. applied to a lot of jobs. got ignored. got rejected. got hired. got fired.

gave up looking. a long time ago.



but in the world, plenty of good and bad things happen, that are not the punishment/reward for your actions.

sometimes, someone frames a defendant. and the defendant gets wrongfully sent to jail.

children get cancer.

children, women, and men get raped.

karma

what's the point of putting all that energy into something? no outcome guaranteed

I also have no motivation or ambition for money, a job or much else. The only thing I really want to do is write my books, but I'm finding even that hard to want to do (I haven't started yet). I'd rather play PC games and talk to people online. I think it is definitely an Autistic/Aspergers thing. I also have not grown up either, and I'm 6 months away from being 35 (Christ I feel old!). The only thing I really care about anymore is finding myself a female life-partner, but I find that even hard to do since most people I meet think I'm weird anyway. I never went to college (I tried taking city college classes, but I dropped out more than once), and I don't even want to learn things that don't relate to me.

What's the point of doing anything?

Diagnosed clinical depression

A couple years ago, took prozac and Ativan

Made me exhausted and numb. And less depressed

Prozac costs $$ and has side effects

The psychiatrist is kind of far away, for public transportation

The current counselor put "motor retardation" on the insurance form

The counselor told me it meant that I "move slowly".

And granted I am no Olympic gymnast and bad at coordination

But the counselor has only seen me move from the waiting room to the couch

A couple of yards at most

The counselor told me that clinical depression sometimes causes motor retardation

The other thing is that there are not many things I enjoy doing

And few or zero things that I am good at doing

And nobody will make the mistake of hiring my worthless corpse

Numerous previous jobs had the nerve to can me

So what is the point of trying?

For all I know, maybe they just hated my autistic demeanor and nothing i could do could change it

Likewise almost everyone that I have ever interacted with on a significant basis, acts a bit disgusted with me. Furthermore I do not like many of them. Moreover often I do not like myself



Everyone and everything appears totally superficial and meaningless.

Almost everyone that I have ever interacted with acts like they have never done anything wrong before. "Holier than thou". And they are all too eager to announce my flaws. As though they were perfect




Sometimes I wonder if social interaction is even worth the effort. cost benefit analysis