Past life? Confused...

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I kept reading at the PL therapy site, and there's a description of an experience of the guy who developed it:


Dr. Morris Netherton’s first experience with past life therapy began in the early 1960’s, when his family physician unconventionally recommended he see a psychotherapist for his ulcers and dermatitis. During his therapy, he became sleepy and expressed his inability to stay awake for the session. His therapist said, “Let’s keep going and see what happens.” She kept talking while Netherton fell into a trance. He was fully aware of his surroundings and her voice, but his unconscious mind took him to a past-life where he was a prisoner in Mexico around the mid-nineteenth century. His therapist was alarmed and had misgivings about continuing the session, but he insisted that they keep at it.

On his way back home, his dermatitis disappeared, which was reinforced by unjust tethering to a post in the blazing sun. The dermatitis was a re-manifestation of his painful sun blisters from a past-life. During the second visit, he experienced the life in prison again. The guards were kicking him in the gut exactly where he had an ulcer. He led the therapist to his past-life death, where he died from diphtheria. A day after his therapy session, he was pain-free. It was at that pivotal moment Morris Netherton committed to learning how to enabling others to release themselves from suffering too. (from: http://www.pastlifetherapycenter.com/Th ... ethod.html)

I had recurring dreams of being a prisoner in some Spanish-speaking country also. I only remember catching a glimpse of my prisoner self reflected in the window glass in front of some buildings in a garden in which I was toiling. I was compact, swarthy with coal-black hair and rough-hewn grimy hands with scars on them, hot and dirty/sweaty in my prison uniform.

I've long been in the habit of immediately jotting down my dreams and analyzing them.

I don't think it's really that far out. Lots of people I think come up with impulses they really can't find a root to.

As far as Quakers though, isn't that kind of a little in the Boehme/Swedenborg direction? I know the Pennsylvania Dutch, braucherie and pow-wow, and sort of a creole home-grown Rosicrucian outlook is in the same sort of circle.

Also, what sect of Christian are you outside of Quaker? I ask because one of the bigger eye-openers for me growing up Catholic and in particular finding out how much interest I had in the esoteric path was a book that the two last sitting popes had in their libraries (sometimes photographed on their desk) by Unknown Author and Valentin Tomberg called Meditations on the Tarot - A Journey Into Christian Hermeticism. Really made me think about a lot of things and of course if you think you might be having reincarnation experience or at least tapping into someone else's memories you may find this worth reading.

Yes I believe I had a past life dream which connected to 2 people I met irl. This is TL;DR but please bare with me.

Around Dec 2011 Christmas time I had been using drugs and alcohol to cope with college stress (I just wrote a related post on this which is disturbing and triggering). Btw, I am afraid this entire thing I am writing is kind of ridiculous and surreal But the irl incidents really happened. Also I am afraid any one I might know may find this, and think I am some kind of schizophrenic (as a few people have called me). Or I could get in trouble or get a bad reputation because of this and my past in college

Dec 2011. I had a quite vivid dream at the time where I was driving a blue truck to a shoddy looking house/mobile home in Fairbanks, Alaska. It must have been the mid 1900's. An old man with grey hair and a mustache at a cracker barrel type convenience store gave me advice and warned me about something. My mind jumped to a scene where I went fishing with a man along the river. He had very distinct eskimo like features. When we were done fishing, we walked along the river. My mind then jumped to where I was in his house and some sexual scene took place and my mind got confused with the trailer we have have in Michigan...
It was quite vague but that is all I remember. That dream left an emotional impression on me. Also before that time I had come up with a weird dress style which was plain t-shirts, plaid shirts, jeans and construction boots. My only friend at the time thought I was some kind of northerner. But I dressed that way cause I have a fondness of the north and the woods and miss the snow and hated living in Florida, for all my happy memories with friends were in MI at the trailer

So in Fall 2012 I was 22-23 after I had a long series of mental breakdowns and drug problems and released from a mental hospital I got into training to work at a distribution center warehouse as the line of work seemed interesting and practical to me, for whatever reason (when I was a teenager I thought it would be cool to become a semi truck driver as the travelling and scenery seems nice. Ice Road Truckers appealed to me which ironically a lot of episodes featuring Fairbanks, AK. Also sometimes driving myself and travelling in the car relaxes me. Also semi truck driving is related to distribution).

My job training was for people with disabilities, and the class was quite slow and boring and really dumbed down. The job trainer was an old man with a mustache who previously worked in the company's convenience stores. His appearance gave me a strange feeling and his energy was quite positive. He was also a strange guy but very kind and I drew a picture for him of his dog in class on a large presentation paper. Around the end of the training the old man with the mustache made a passing comment about past lives. At the time in the cold section after he mentioned that I looked at an old photo of the warehouse crew decades ago and saw a familiar man's face...

I ended up working in a section of the warehouse of the skill I was best at at mostly 30-40 hr weeks. I met a superior inventory guy who had very familiar features. He was probably of some kind of finnish/nordic descent but his face and manneurisms gave me a lot of deja vu. He had very deep set and thin eyes and a distinctive face He chatted me up almost every day and I enjoyed his company as well as chats at the water cooler by his desk. I made excuses to drink at the watercooler to talk to him at his desk a lot and on breaks. He made me feel quite at home there and said a few times the mod was like home. He often wore a plaid flannel shirt that he put on his chair at his desk. He told me he worked there for 30 something years. Early on in the job he also came up to me, touched my arm or squeezed my hand, rubbed my back etc. This made me feel, welll extremely good to say the least I found him irresistably attractive in every aspect and I told him I had a huge crush on him and that he reminded me of my favorite animal, a gerbil I also had some very nice dreams about him at the time Some time early on he told me that he was married and I think he worked there for having a child at a young age.

A few months into the job I had come to his desk to chat and out of the blue he told me, that he enjoyed fishing, and that I should find some one like him to learn fishing with some day Around that time he also took me by the hands as if to tell me something but something broke that interaction. I never once implied any thing about my dream or fishing and I thought it was very synchronistic that he told me that I made a passing comment about a great bbq restaurant called 4Rivers on Fairbanks ave.

Around summer 2013 I had withdrawn off the psych meds. As I got better at the job they sent me to different mods and it seemed like every day I was in another mod he came to visit me and chat me up. One day I was in another mod and asked if he missed me and he said of course, "you're my buddy" in the most affectionate way Another female temp seemed to notice this and made a gasping gesture.
One day he rubbed me on the back in the locker room. I went back to my job in another mod and my mind started to trip. I am afraid I had fallen for him. My perception of reality changed and everything seemed more vibrant and fluid. I had a new outlook on life. I also patted him on the back one day in return by the stairs to the break room. One day I went back to the home mod as the supervisor related to me on the subject of 9/11 conspiracy theory. The nice man was also there and I told him of the subject. Perhaps that came off as me being crazy. I also implied to him that I wanted to go downtown to dance clubs. He seemed interested in that as when I first met him he acted like he wanted to party with me

Around September 2013, I thought I would show my appreciation of him by drawing a picture of his dog, from the photo he had on his desk. It was a charcoal and tea wash drawing on arches in the way they taught me in uni art school by my abusive teachers . I gave it to him and he told me it was beautiful and gave me a hug. Of course that was a stupid thing to do for I knew he was married and I'm sure he had to hide it or throw it away Although, I had also drawn a picture of my trainer's dog. But that relationship was different He also seemed upset around the time after I gave him the drawing as well as I heard his voice shaking on the mod intercom He told me he was happily married and so I backed off a bit with my own flirtations. I was really dumb to not consider his family I ended up looking on dating sites for guys to date for I knew it could never be. I also got a forklift license in hopes of applying it at the job if I were hired for benefits.

By November of 2013 I got really sick from a stomach virus while working and lost a lot of weight. ?I did not see too much of the man any more and it seemed maybe he was avoiding me?. In December the temp agency dropped me. I got pretty upset and tried looking for entry level jobs elsewhere thru the vocational agency. The jobs kept rejecting me and I could not pass interviews. It made me extremely depressed and tired A younger guy from a dating site I had been platonic with ended up taking my virginity and dumping me for other girls I felt quite heart broken at the time over that and the next time I met him was only friendzone and he got me to smoke pot which had me tripping and screwed up my mind.

My perception of my self and my looks began to change so I started dressing better. After working a month in an unsuitable warehouse job I was signed back to the distribution warehouse thru another temp agency. The nice man told me welcome back home and gave me a hug At the time my mind was in a severe depressive loop from past trauma I could not let go and my performance went from almost 100 to 50. I had thoughts about the job being dead end and stressful and the repetetive music and love songs was getting to me. One such song btw was Sweet Disposition by Temper Trap. I had thoughts of pursuing other things like painting and going to parks. The job made me extremely tired and I slept on all my free time. I had several near misses driving home from work nodding off at the wheel. I went quiet around everybody and avoided talking to my unattainable crush. A younger ethnic guy in shipping also asked me on a date but he wanted to pressure me for sex which I didn't want. I had terrible self esteem and broke out in severe acne. The man seemed sad about me having problems and didn't know what to say. A guy in another mod made a remark that implied I was crazy and had to finish my story. I started thinking maybe my coworkers were talking behind my back and might humiliate me like I was humiliated in college (although my coworkers were all quite nice and I remember them fondly. One guy even gave me a pep talk one day when I was down and told me I was beautiful). The HR guy came up to me asking for an interview and I knew I wouldn't make it. Nearly the next day I stopped showing up for work. The last memory I have of the nice man was he came to me upstairs in the mod and kicked a box like it was a soccer ball into the conveyer belt. I never said goodbye to him.

The memories of that time seemed surreal and strange. Maybe I am just crazy. It is stupid to even remember things this way but I really miss that guy and he made me feel so good. But I felt like they didn't want me anymore at that job so I gave up without saying goodbye. Was it morally wrong of me to love some one who is already taken? I felt like he was some kind of soul mate. How stupid of me!! !

Sorry, I went on a huge detailed tangent. I buried these memories for 4 years since I quit. I have not done much cept paint a few pictures. :/ I'm just tripping rn. I hope nobody I know finds this. What a huge and irresistable mistake I wish I knew the answer to this but it's too weird and unreal. I thought it was just another bad situation like in college. I will probably never see him again. But I do miss him dearly. idk how to move on with my life. Thinking of him makes me feel good.

Past life soul mates? I will probably never know


BTW this is the triggering post I made about college as it relates back to why I also quit that job viewtopic.php?f=23&t=364760

^^^you are not crazy, I believe what you say.

Thanks. I thought I was crazy at the time, as many people have told me I was schizo :/ But he made me feel normal and whole again that my own development as a person did not catch up with cause of mental stress. And the physical effect of the job and no bf made me feel well...Less than a lady..-.- The meds they put me on blocked all my thoughts and emotions so I forgot for 4 years and I just got off of them half a year ago. -.- I miss him greatly and I wish I could talk to him again but I do not want to be causing any trouble.

edit: I made a post summarized like the one here on youtube and some one told me that this guy is related to past trauma I experienced as well and I should not go back to such a thing

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TZys9el ... RQ54AaABAg