Im an adult but not independent

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Im 19 and I live with my parents. I dont do a lot on my own. I do sometimes though. My parents are encouraging me to be more independent.

I have an aide who takes me places and helps me with my social skills. I feel included. Its difficult for me to go out sometimes. I get overwhelmed easily. I get help with my behavior and personal issues as well. But some people arent very respectful about the fact that I need extra help. They think I should be more independent. They dont know me though.

When I was 19, I was living with my parents, too, it was years before I left. I was not diagnosed with any condition back then, I just had no means and no reason to move out. I didn't feel independent. I wasn't.

I thought I was independent as I had a job and could drive but living with my partner rally hammered in how I was no way independent.

Even though I was working and could drive when I was living with parents they did all my laundry and ironing and cooked my packed lunches for work and had tea for me.
They also controlled though not in a nasty way my wages and bank details they would ensure my mobile phone and such was paid and ensured I was never in the red by assigning pocket money to me.
At the time I was fine with it as I was well looked after and never wanted anything.

That changed when I moved in with my partner who on the other side is totally independent he controlled his own money paid board and his bills alone he also knew how to cook and clean and iron clothes his parents could easily go on holiday abroad for weeks at a time and not worry about him where me my parents made me stay with family when they went away even though I was 25 at the time.

Moving in with my partner was a major shock though it took months to realise how basically childish I was. For 6 months I let him run around doing everything in the house it was been with my parents except I didn't click on that I was building resentment between me and my partner. My partner course got frustrated that besides a salary which was not needed as he was easily earning double my wage I gave nothing into the house I was content in watching television or playing games while he spent hours keeping the house tidy.

The last problem was that I actually had no idea how to manage my finances i suddenly saw my wage was after taxes about £1009 and cause my partner paid the house bills I went nuts and spent my wages on anything I fancied I even got a credit card as my partner said it would help my credit rating and racked that up to the point where I was severely in debt.

I did try and hide the debt from my partner by changing my bank address but I got rumbled and I was forced to ask for bailouts to prevent getting negative credit marks on my files. This and the stress would cause my partners seizures to return which I still blame myself for cause before we moved in he was seizure free for years now seizures we both have to live with.

I did learn and while I still struggle I do now chip in and while I now understand bills and cash flow I still ask my partner to help manage the money and it's all in a joint pile. Thankfully I have a partner who loves me and is willing to help me and I have improved a lot though I still struggle with a lot of daily day to day stuff.

I really wish I had an aide sometimes. There's being independent and there's thriving. I can do the former really well, but the latter continues to elude me.