over 40

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I just turned 40. I feel old and young at the same time.

yes..indeed, am believing alotta Aspies have similiar feeling about their ages....a big part of the time .

40 didn't seem like a big deal to me, but now I'm about to turn 45 and in the downhill straight to 50 I'm starting to get the fear.

It isn't the age that bothers me so much, its the fact that I'm running out of time to have the life that I wanted to have. And I'm losing faith that I'm capable of making the changes necessary for me to have that sort of life.

I feel like I'm getting to a point where i have to accept these limitations and try to be happy with what i have. Which one hand sounds like a happier existence but on the other hand sounds a lot like giving up.

Luckily you can start a new life right up to your 65th so you're still good. Statistically it's possible for you to live until your 120s so you've got time. If one of your dreams is big and sincere (meaning it's part of your core, meaning when you're 119 and on your deathbed and look back and still regret) then you should do it.

Thing is, you are in a time of flux atm. That's why you feel weird and jittery (not the right word, I know. I mean the physical unease you feel). It's not because of the things you've identified, I think. (this is my suggestion to you, to contemplate about.)
I think you are in flux because your brain chemistry is changing (because of 4+decades) and your values are changing or become ready to.

You might be ready to embrace different values and dreams. For example, you probably care a whole lot less about what people think about you. That's age-apropriate. 10 to 38 yo is for worrying about what other people think of you or how you look.

40th birthday = "pfft. who cares? not me."

Same things are stirring in you about what you wanted in your life, how you perceived succes. Room is occuring for different ideas about those topics. But! saying goodbye to the old ideas is a sad experience. Laying outdated dreams to rest comes with grief.

It's not a fun time. Being in flux is not fun. Sorry. You can do it, especially if you give yourself time. It is a bit better to do if you're willing to take a peek at the new things that are now possible for you. But it's not a fun time. It will take 5 years max. I expect more something like 8 months. Good luck!

Sounds like very good advise .. that prolly needs to be paid attention to..!

I got much fatter after 40. Not overweight yet but certainly well padded.

Now the more inevitable things after 40 (for me) are people in my family dying, kids growing up and mid-life crisis. I couldn't do much with the first two things, but I went back to school to get a bit more youth and diploma and that worked well for me.

After 50 you'll have more health checkups to look forward to, like colonoscopy. You'll probably want to hold onto your jobs like crazy because it's harder to start a new job, but you never know. My dad came to America at age 50 and started a brand new life. It's not too late, especially if you have longevity in your family.

Keep learning new things no matter what age you are. That keeps you young.

I think I'm in much the same place, DuckHairback. I have a lot to be thankful for, and when it comes to day-to-day living, there isn't much I can think of to do differently, but the quiet realization of options being closed off to me by the passage of time is scary. When I was a kid, I imagined I would fall in love and start a family, and that I'd be a dad when I grew up. I never grew up, but growing old is happening whether I want it to or not.

Sorry to sound so negative! I'm a Christian, so in general I have faith that even if I mess most things in my life up, God is in control, and nothing important will be eternally lost. But that doesn't mean I don't worry, or wonder what might have been.