Crowds and sport

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Many people are into sport. "My team won so I feel good"
"My team lost so I feel bad"

Should my ego be tied to a bunch of professional sportsmen?

As for seeing a game I really, really hate crowds and lines and parking and traffic problems.

So why should I care if my "chosen" bunch of professionals beats some other group of highly paid professionals?

Nope, don't have to.

And I say that as a more NT than not woman who has enjoyed public sports at times.

It is something people can share. Makes conversation. Gives you something to do that can be fun for the right people. But if you aren't into it, you aren't into it. Plenty of other people are just like you on it.

This is the kind of thing I absolutely LOVE about having been diagnosed as an Aspie.

I attended my first ever Aspie social event at the age of 43. We went ten-pin bowling. I am not interested in bowling at all, but I wanted to hang out with these guys. It was great. We were in two teams, but no one cared or even noticed when the opposite team won, or by how much. People were congratulating themselves and anyone who happened to show improvement on their previous shot regardless of what team they were in. Some people were more interested in how the bias of the ball was designed than in any other aspect of the game.

Wombat, I am so happy to be part of your neurogenetic family!

Me too! (Happy to be part of the same neurogenetic family...)

On this particular topic, I used to be "loyal" to particular teams and I would often feel good (bad) when they won (lost). But, free agency pretty much killed that "emotional" tie. As players started moving from one team to the next, primarily due to compensation, I pretty much lost interest in professional and amateur team sports. It was kind of liberating.

I also worry about how adults now seem to have similar attachment to the success or failure of their children's team sports, and the impact on kids. My kids are not playing team sports right now (though my grown step daughter played for many years). But, unless I'm interpreting things wrong, it seems to me that society is placing more and more emphasis on winning, and that it is affecting our children's self esteem.

Even though my son does not play team sports, he does play two individual sports. And I'm now struggling to try to help him deal with losing from time-to-time. He is very good at both sports, which seem to have become special interests of his (he was DX'd aspie three years ago at age 5). He wins far more than he loses. But he is far more upset after a loss than he is excited after a win. I have been trying to get him to take it easier on himself when he loses and just realize that is part of playing sports.

So far, to use a sports metaphor, I'm "striking out."

Anyone know if there is anything aspie-specific that could make dealing with losses in sports more difficult? (FWIW: We are both DX'd aspie. I don't think I had trouble with losing back when I was his age (8). But, it was a long time ago and I may not be remembering that period of nearly 40 years ago correctly. And certainly no one had a clue back about aspies like me back then...)

When I was a kid I used to prefer individual sports like rifle shooting and golf.
I loved walking and caving.

Even with golf I don't understand it when people say "I beat you"

I could tee off with Tiger Woods or some complete duffer. If he gets a higher/lower score than me then so what?

Someone could say "I am stronger than you" or "I can run faster than you"

I would reply "Yes, well so what?"

If we went birdwatching would he say "I saw more birds than you"?

Sounds like pure heaven to me! I LOVE to play games but totally abhor the winner/loser bit.




What IS IT with NTs and competition?? I like to exert myself and do well, but I don't care whether or not I win. I just don't wanna be "stomped on."

Hate crowds, hate competitive mainstream mega media-driven spectator sport. Hate sports celebrities too, and their jumped-up trophy wives and girlfriends.

Like small, friendly competitive games, ought to do more of those.

OMG don't get me started on that.

My daughter played basketball and my son little league baseball.

Many of the parents were totally deranged.

I hate it, the noise, the strange objectives, the unthinking whooping. Total bulshit.

As long as they keep their fanatical ways confined to the stadium, I'm prepared to live and let live, but these days they're starting to spill out into the wider community, and the authorities aren't lifting a finger to stop it - presumably because of the money involved: tons of punters equals tons of profit for the elite, therefore it's deemed OK.

Last night I was cycling somewhere, and witnessed tons of fanatics honking their horns and leaning dangerously far out of car windows to display weird green flags bearing a moon and star emblem. The noise was downright scary. For a while I thought it was some hotheaded political rally they were coming back from. I could still hear them in the distance after travelling over a mile away from them.

It's the kind of behaviour I'd expect from drunks - total disregard for anybody else's rights.

Don't like sports at all tried to get into sports but i could not get the point of it.

If I find myself at a sporting event (or a party) I find myself observing behavior as if I'm on a scientific expedition.

My only interest in sports stems from computers/math. Sabermetrics, statistical analysis of performance, predictive potential of various metrics. But given sensory issues, I have only seen a couple of games in my life. And I have never managed to feel loyalty or connection to any team, organization, or society. None of that makes any sense to me.

I've watched with bemusement as people track their favorite team or athlete. I can't comprehend any of it.

Not following sports has been a difficulty for my husband. It is what the guys at work talk about and he'd like to know enough to follow the conversations so he doesn't feel left out, but he doesn't care enough about sports to watch or learn any of it. I despise the idea of a guy on the couch ignoring real life to watch an image on a screen throw a ball, so I am grateful that he isn't into it. The people who have their children's annual baby pictures wearing NFL jerseys and holding a football make me roll my eyes.

We sometimes go out to a baseball game as a family and he enjoys that. The crowds or noises don't bother him as he mainly tunes it all out. I think he primarily associates going to sporting events with getting nachos and other stadium food. If I tried to keep him from doing that, he'd be in a sour mood and wouldn't want to go with me again. It isn't about the players or the game for him. It is more about the ritual and nostalgia. And fake cheese.

He also likes individual sports, but he prefers to do them around others. He does notice scores and accuracy and he doesn't at all gloat, but he feels quite good if he does better than someone else in a sport he cares about. If he doesn't do well, he is a gracious loser and shrugs it off because he already assessed where he was and what he could expect and knew that he'd not do better. If he thought he'd done well and then found out he didn't, he would be disappointed.

I do not play most games or sports with him because I get really frustrated when I always lose, which I do with him when it is anything requiring accuracy or strategy. He likes someone who can challenge him anyway. I like to play games of chance and there are a few skills in which I can rival him. I rule at tickle fights!

I like to watch football at home on cozy fall/winter days. But more for the 'cozy' aspect of it, and I don't usually care what team it is. I usually read or do projects with the tv on anyway.

We just went to a baseball game in the boxes and it was *wonderful*. Room to move, air conditioning, kids in one spot. I usually bring a book with me.

My kids are involved in sports now too. It's hard for me to transition to their new sports seasons, or if I end up having to take them by myself too many times. My eldest has played with another child for 3 years now and we've gotten to know the family enough that I told the mom I was an Aspie. I enjoy having her to have a one on one conversation with and the boys will be in Scouts together too. That said, I always bring a book (notice a pattern?) I don't care for the noise and the sun being in my eyes, but I also know it's important to support my sons.

I'm competitive with board games and cards, but not to the point where I *have* to win.

I think the obsession with sports is funny. I myself enjoy watching professional and college sports because I really appreciate the tremendous amount of skill and athletic ability involved.

What I don't understand is the fanatical loyalty to one team and intense hatred of others. When people say things like "we" won or "we're" going to win the championship, I'm like ... what's this "we" thing? You're not on the team.

It's like people take on their identity from their sports teams. They wouldn't exist as individual beings without their sports team.

And then there's the whole issue of the obscene amount of money professional athletes are paid, as compared to, say, teachers or the helping professions. What does it say about a society that pays a football player 100 times what it pays a math teacher?