Anyone regret getting a diagnosis?

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My psychologist does not think I will benefit from having a formal diagnosis since I am high functioning, independent, and do not plan on applying for disability. I am pressing forward with the fact that I will just feel relieved and more confident knowing that there is a reason for how I've not quite fit in no matter how much I tried in the past and that it will give my explanations to friends and family members credibility. I hate saying that I am self-diagnosed because I feel like everyone thinks I'm a hypochondriac that is trying to make excuses for myself.

Is there anyone on here that actually regrets going through with getting a diagnosis?? Just curious.

I have mixed feelings about it. I think if you really want to understand and confirm your hunches about where your troubles may be stemming from, I think that's fine. Please also realize that you might or might not get the answer you want, and it also depends on the doctor who diagnoses you (would you be satisfied with a doctor who says you are not on the spectrum or would you keep seeking a doctor who will give you the answer you want to hear?).

If you use it as an explanation to everyone for everything you do and why you do it, this logic may also fall flat on its face. Because sometimes people just miscommunicate, and sometimes it is OTHER people who have their own hangups and would like to pinpoint every problem on YOU (since you have the diagnosis after all). So this type of diagnosis ammunition can really backfire on you, especially from less than well-meaning people. And those people who think you are a hypochondriac now, trust me, are not going to think any better of you later. That's just their own personality flaw and prejudice, and no diagnosis of yours is going to help THEM become better people to you or otherwise.

I think it is important to be introspective and to really think about the implications of why you want the diagnosis and whether or not getting the diagnosis would accomplish the purpose you were looking for.

I was happy to receive my diagnosis, but now it seems my husband is using it to "explain" things that I believe are relatively normal marriage conflicts and partially due to his own irritating behaviors/beliefs. But now that *I'm* the one with the diagnosis he is beginning to interpret anything that he doesn't like through that lens, as if he's suddenly exempt from wrongdoing, and it is very annoying. At first it was nice, because he seemed to be very sweet about it and admiring of the challenges I had to face, but now it has become a point of contention.

Think really hard about it. Because once the information is out there, you can't take it back.

The more research I do, the more convinced I am that I'm an Aspie. I don't think I want that reflected in my medical file for any reason, though. In today's age of technology and database linkage, I'd hate to be denied anything (gun ownership, security clearance, who knows) simply because of a diagnosis.

I'd rather be perceived quirky and brutally honest for now. Maybe my mind will change in time...

I suspect that the common public confusion and misinformation about Autism and Aspergers leaves a great potential for problems in the future.

Someone who doesn't like you could potentially use the diagnosis maliciously against you.

This is exactly correct. Very well said.

There's no use asking for trouble.

I really don't see any advantage to getting an official diagnosis if you do not need even the slightest form of support, basically what Nissanfan84 said.

I am going to be starting to go into counseling again, and the diagnosis is helpful for me to see where the root of my anxieties may lie, and to decipher what are my faulty perceptions due to the condition vs. another perspective of what is truly going on. Especially in the context of helping my family and making sure I'm the best mom I can be to them, I have to know how to help myself if I am ever going to be in a decent position to help my children dealing with the same issues.

Not at all. Now I know what my main obstacle is, as well as how to overcome it.

Another thing to add: If the shoe fits, wear it. Why does someone else (who you are probably smarter than) have to confirm something you already know is true?

If you are paying for professional help, then can't you dictate the mode of therapy? Tell them to treat you as if you have Asperger's and if they aren't willing to comply then fire them.

I still feel strongly that avoiding the formal diagnosis is beneficial unless it is truly necessary.

It's not so much that I don't need support (well, not today) in that NO SUPPORT IS AVAILABLE! I was told that an Asperger diagnosis means you need support but if NO support is available for Adult Aspies then by definition nobody has it (or they magically don't have it once they hit 22). I might look normal if you passed me on the street and have a job and car but my difficulties are VERY real and if not for supportive and understanding family and co-workers, I would be screwed royally because I tend to unintentionally scare everyone away who doesn't get to know me first and despite being well liked cannot hold down a single friendship because I don't know how.

The only reason I want a formal diagnosis is for 'proof' I can show others in that I'm not using it as a a made up excuse or that my issues are documented neurological conditions (in fact once I learned what AS was my life improved drastically) and to leave the door open for future activism. Nobody will take me seriously without that formal confirmation even though I already know (and everyone else close to me agrees) what I have and highly education people have told me I am a 100% textbook case of Aspergers. I do have to admit I have my tinfoil hat on and have a good suspicion a diagnosis would be used against me in the future showing I'm not a "fully capable" adult should someone decided to %#% me over like my car insurance tried to do with something very similar. Nobody, experts included seems to know what the term spectrum means and think Autism is like Down Syndrome.

I know my main obstacles are my social awkwardness (NOT my introversion or shyness as I first thought) and my sensory issues (especially when it comes to food) and if I'm told tomorrow I don't have AS these difficulties aren't going to magically disappear like some experts seem to think. They've gotten better since I was a child but they are very much there as much as I wish they were not.

Hockey: It seems like you need an 'AH HAH! I TOLD YOU SO, HERE IT IS!' diagnosis. Just because you have a diagnosis from a clinician doesn't change a thing. In fact, you make it hard for me to understand why you need it when you freely admit that you think it could/will be used against you in the future.

Why not create a dossier with a list of common Aspie traits and your own analysis of how you fall within the diagnosis guidelines and then present that to your friends as evidence, with a footnote saying you don't want formal diagnosis because it can hurt more than help?

That's what I'm working on as we speak.

My concrete thinking is preventing me from seeing your side in this and I apologize in advance. Please know that I am only trying to help, and not to be combative.

Everything in my life is the weight of variables; in this case, the hurt side of the T account has more than the help side of the T account.

Good observation. I will freely admit I used to need to know things with 100% certainty even when that is impossible. For example, I was terrified of the idea that one of these wacky doomsday cults was right even though I knew with 99.999999999% certainty they weren't. Your point is VERY well taken but I guess when some members say "only a licensed psychologist can tell you for sure" I take that to heart even though there is almost zero doubt left at this point. I'm more sure I am on the spectrum than I am I am not a brain in a jar hallucinating this life so while not 100% it's as close as humanly possible.
Good idea and I have thought about that but my experience is that people seem to think you are trying to BS them when you do something like that (going back to my "I'm-told-I-try-too-hard-all-the-time" posts). I might do that for my own piece of mind though in case I ever doubt what is laughably obvious. One professional ASD website listed 160 possible Aspie traits and I had 159 of them for example I did something similar with my old and jaded family doctor verbally and he was mightily impressed. I further told him that I'm sure you get crazy self-diagnosis based on youtube clips and he laughed at that and said I definitely did my homework on this one!

Very true and I've been told I'm a very concrete and literal thinker by almost everyone at work and I appreciate the help. I agree that I clinical diagnosis won't change who I am: I still have Aspergers even if everyone on Earth disagrees. I think it's a case of I want to know deep down the abuse, bullying and exclusion I suffered with during my teenage years by both kids and adults was not my conscious fault.

I'm very aware I obsess over this way too much (OCD is another undiagnosed thing I and everyone around me knows I have for sure) and maybe that's the only way I can lay it to rest.

Hockey: Well there you have it. You need it for YOU. All this time you said you needed it for others

I have many mottos in life but one that ranks very high for me is: If it feels right, do it. If it feels wrong, don't do it.

Does it feel right in the face of all the logic? Then go for it! Get that diagnosis!








But what if they say you don't have it???????

I should probably clarify when I said "support" I meant clinical/psychiatric support - I didn't mean to imply your problems aren't real, just that they can be worked on without the diagnosis - that's why I'm here myself!

If you feel you need the certainty about the syndrome to live a happy(ier) life then yeah go ahead and get it!

Getting an actual diagnosis is not going to make people more tolerant of you and in my experience is likely to have the opposite effect. If you have the diagnosos keep it to your self and if you don't have the diagnosis do your own research and get help with your specific issues. Most people are as tolerant of ASD as they are the plague and unfortunately thay applies to children and our educational system as well. A s long as our society is looking for a cure and labeling us with a mental disorder instead of getting to know us as people with unique minds and abilities and appreciating human differances a diagnosis is just a way to be excluded.

The eternal question for me . That's why I'm struggling so much: it's like what if one of these crazy religions/cults are right even when all evidence points against it? I would say one of two things: either I would assume the Dr. was a yet another ignorant fool (since it's SSSOOO obvious I have it once you get to know me) and my whole sense of reality would come crashing down. How could something I'm this sure of (and I'm Mr. Indecisive) be wrong? How else can you explain why I was bullied so much? How can you explain why I can't make eye contact? What about my sensory issues? Are they just in my head? I've looked into every disorder and no other ones come close but there is obviously something different about me because I was bullied like nobody has ever been bullied before in my Junior High.


I remember a NT member here saying once how few people are actually willing to do their homework and just rely on over-the-top stereotypes and sadly I'm starting to believe it. It's almost as if the people who I tried to convince I had Aspergers seemed to think I was 'less than' fully adult when in reality it's total BS. I have my issues but dammit I also am very intelligent and nobody learns faster than I do! My ability to pick out small details at work is simply unmatched as well. I AM DIFFERENT NOT DISEASED but as John Lennon said "they hate you if you're clever and despise a fool". Story of my life and I'm sick of being excluded because I have a unique cognitive style.