Do your kids a favor and dont have them

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I think that anyone who as Asperger's or autism should not have kids. I mean I guess its your choice but come on think about how hard your life because of autism. Would you really want your kid to have to suffer from that?

Well...just because you have AS, doesn't mean your kids will. It's believed that my paternal grandfather had it, and only one of his four kids had it. Both my parents are NT.

Your thoughts lead to an interesting question though - should someone not have kids if they know that there is an increased risk of their kids having certain disorders? It's a question that I've struggled with.

But if you think about it, autistic spectrum disorders have a prevalence of 1 in 100 (which doesn't sound like much but is actually a lot of people) and we know that there are genetic factors involved - wouldn't that mean that most people carry some kind of risk of ASDs in their genes whether they're on the spectrum or not?

As I said, my parents are NT. My dad's brother has AS, and now I have it. My sisters are also NT, does that mean their children aren't at risk? Based on our family history, the risk of ASDs is very real.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, nothing is guaranteed. So many things can go wrong with your child's mental and physical health as it is, avoiding having kids because of a risk probably isn't necessary

I think the real question is, should anyone have a child, bring a child into this world of so much suffering.

As far as I can see, some people suffer tremendously, some are for the most part happy, and it isn't dependent on disability or money or intelligence or any single factor.

There is something bad in any family tree that could be passed along to children. Whether to continue to have children, continue the human species is a deeply moral and religious question. Aspergers isn't the only bad thing one can pass on, and maybe our suffering is worse than that of other people, but I can't presume that to be the case.

I would say don't have kids unless you want to love them and be there for them for who they are.

Under this belief, people who have made considerable contributions to the world would never have existed -- Temple Grandin just for starters.

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BirdInFlight is correct. Most of the advancements in society are contributed by high functioning Autistics throughout history.

Austism itself isn't the problem. It's the social aspect of society that causes us the grief.

So I read this question as: Would you rather not exist?

The answer is: No.

I like being alive. I don't wish I had never been born.

My son (who also has Aspergers/ASD) is also very glad to be alive.

If the alternative to the real suffering that comes from social communication problems is nonexistence, then:
No, I would not choose that for myself or him.

I respect the choice of some people with ASDs not to have children. I equally respect the choice of those who reproduce. This is one of those areas about which it's well to remember that it's a diverse spectrum.

, There is actually no proof of that whatsoever plenty of advancements probably have been contributed to by high functioning autistics. But we can't very well go back in time and diagnoses historical figures with autism, so no one really knows which ones may have had autism and which ones didn't. I don't think its accurate to say most advancements came from high functioning autistics....I am sure plenty of neurotypicals and non-neurotypicals that didn't have autism per-say have contributed to various advancements in society.

I believe Aspies should glory in having kids. I haven't got any kids, I'm 53, and I regret it.

I believe there are times when kids could benefit Aspies greatly--perhaps provide a compelling reason to socialize with others.

I have to say: my kids are the greatest source of joy in my life.

I don't think I should have kids, but not because I think its immoral for an autistic person to have kids and potentially have a kid with autism. More because I wouldn't be able to take care of them, I have enough trouble with myself let alone if I was to be responsible for little kids....just couldn't do it. I doubt I could even handle a pregnancy let alone actually having the child and then babies communicate much of the time by screaming their head off, not sure I could deal with that.

But I think there are people on the spectrum that could make great parents and are resilient enough to put up with all those things that would drive me crazy.

I am happy who I am. That's true I used to think "I wish I was never born" or "People like me should be killed as small babies so they won't have to be teenagers" but was all before I realized I might be in the spectrum. I had no real help from anywhere back then, I was considered a weirdo both in school and home and noone was able to tell me why I am so messed up. I had to learn everything by myself.
Now I am glad I survived. I don't believe that being on spectrum is so bad thing. It might be actually good sometimes. I would like to have children in the future and if they end up being like me - it's alright. They will have better life than I did because they will have someone to explain them what's going on and will understand what they go through. They will have someone to guide them. And I believe I might be a good mother. I always was able to deal with small children.

^^^Ditto^^^

My son is my best friend, people come and people go, but he is always here and we do all kinds of fun things together. I do not regret having him what so ever, and he is happy.

If you think life is hard now, try having lived about 5000 years or more ago. although I am referring to farming and city life, hunter gatherers was still an option as a way of life though. but compared to now days, we have it easy.

Yes, but this is not a reason to have children.

A better question, I think, is: given who you are, and how you get along in the world, and the amount of money you're able to bring in reliably, and the reserves you have for dealing with other people, are you really someone who should have a kid. Because once you do, that's it, no backsies, and if you're like most you won't get a vacation from parenthood for a decade or so.

Yes sometimes parents needs a break, but for the most part, after what I been through before my kid came along, he is my vacation from life. before I had no real friends (and still don't), and he enjoys going out and doing the things I also enjoy doing, like rock hounding, fossil hunting, crystal hunting, arrowhead hunting, gem and precious stone hunting, mushroom hunting, yard sales, bike riding, mountain and forest trail hiking, watch documentaries and other movies together, play with lego's together, etc. we do about everything together. I do not feel so badly hollow and alone anymore and parenting gives me a sense of purpose. and I know my son is happy and well cared for, and he does well for him self, even socially, a heck of a lot better then I had it when i was a kid. BTW, I am a full time single parent, my son is now 8, been raising him (for the most part) by my self since he was 19 months old. and he is definitely a daddies boy. I am always living on the edge of broke but as I aged I realized that if I didn't take that chance it would never happen for me and this is something I wanted out of my life, a family of my own.

I never implied that this would be a reason to have kids. Not whatsoever! That would be insultingly selfish.

You have kids because you want to raise a kid, with the help of your partner, of course.

You want to take your boy to the ballgame. You want to go to your girl's tea party.

I can understand it if someone would think the above is too Will Rogerish, too Norman Rockwellish.

I want to emphasize: I'm not into traditional gender roles. I believe in most aspects of Feminism.

Obviously, there's great responsibility in raising a kid. It's not all rose-colored optimism.

I do regret not having a kid--maybe I'll have one some day.

Last edited by kraftiekortie on 01 May 2014, 2:55 pm, edited 1 time in total.