Can't get my head organized

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I should be planning my retirement, comparing various investment choices, preparing a budget, checking with the retirement board. But I find I have all my relevant papers laid out all over the living room and can't even bring myself to look at them. I'm tired all the time, sleep too little, and while away many precious hours online or playing games and puzzles, unwilling to tackle the big issues.

Is it aging or is it autism? I am not accustomed to finding myself so much at an impasse. I do feel like a week's vacation might do me good, but it also might end up spent sleeping badly and playing computer games. I just feel like I'm spinning my wheels.

Sound familiar to anyone?

It is common in autism to have difficulties with what is called executive functioning. Task initiation and planning is part of the catch all "executive function" nomenclature. As we age and slow down what we were able to cope with becomes more difficult. Psychically what was the annoying back twitch at age 30 may become debilitating pain at age 50. "Pretending to be normal" is mentally exhausting. By middle age we have been "pretending to be normal" for decades and at some point we hit a wall leading to what has been called "Autistic burnout" and we become seemingly more autistic.

I have the same kind of problems. My brain seems to be in a muddle all the time and I feel exhausted before I've even done anything. I also don't sleep well and get distracted easily. But I'm pretty good at getting things done if I have a daily 'to-do' list to work through.

Thank you Cheryll and ASPartofMe, for your feedback. Do you have any suggestions as to how I might tackle that problem?

Sorry, I do not have any ideas at the moment. I've only managed to tick off one thing out of twenty on my to-do list today . I also would appreciate any suggestions regarding this matter

I'd seen the term, but had ignored it, thinking it didn't apply to me, until I read your comment! Now I've discovered that it's a big part of what's going on in my head. Here's something useful that I've found while searching for more information: http://musingsofanaspie.com/executive-function-series/

Sounds kinda like me. I should be washing my dishes and getting things organized for my upcoming college term, and here I am chatting with random people online, playing computer games, and listening to music. I just can't help but procrastinate. I think in my case, it's compounded by the fact that I have ADHD as well as autism.

Chunking

chunking? could you elaborate?

Click on the word "Chunking", It links to a webpage

Thank you, ASPartofMe, but my problem isn't so much learning or remembering, as it is approaching a multi-faceted chore, organizing it, and decision-making. There is a relatively small amount of new learning to be done.

I think a danger with breaking things down into small chunks is that it's easier to get started, but you can end up with even more unfinished jobs. I know, I'm an expert at it . That doesn't mean it's not a good idea to break tasks down into small manageable pieces though, but it needs some careful management.

I'm really stuck with trying to get things done at the moment. I'm 8 months into what I've been told is a 12 month wait for my assessment, so I'm not certain I've got Aspergers, but think I may well have. I can identify with all the stuff being discussed and linked to here, but don't seem to get the extreme effects of it. I'm just so tired after a lifetime of it. I'm almost 60, and for almost all that time thought I was "normal" but with a few problems, and it may still turn out that's true if I don't get a diagnosis. I'm definitely going through some sort of burnout at the moment, whether it's an Aspie type one, or an NT one.

Sorry to hear that, John. I was 60 when I was diagnosed. So far, I can't say the diagnosis has helped me any, though it also hasn't hurt me. You might just find that it doesn't advance you in any way. But having waited this long, you should go through with it, I think.

I can identify with just making more, smaller tasks to attempt. I have shuffled my papers every which way to Sunday but I still have the hardest time just going ahead and DOING something with them.

It is still multitasking, multifaceted chores so the idea should be the same. Put everything related to the first month of retirement in one pile, then break that down into sub categories.

The other aspect of my message was burnout. You have more then earned some "me time". Maybe do nothing but delve in to your "special interests" for a few months. Did you have some seemingly weird repetitive body movement or thing you as a kid did but suppressed it because you were afraid if anybody saw you doing it they would tease you or worse send you to the loony bin? It is called stimming or self stimulation. It is the Autistic brain's way of release and regenerating.

Link to further explanation of stimming an examples of stimming.
http://fuckyeahstimming.tumblr.com/definition

I need to know now. I've thought whatever the problem is has been cured because my life changed, then found out I've repeated the same mistakes, and it's led me into a situation where a lot of my financial security may be gone, I'm more isolated than I've ever been, and I'm stuck in a situation I can't get out of without some sort of support. Not a good place to start preparing for old age from! I think I've had a core belief that I'm normal with a problem that can be cured, but before I can change that I need to be sure that I'm actually different, there's nothing than can (or maybe needs) to be cured, but that I need to stop acting "normal". I got into this situation by relying on inaccurate data, and as possible Aspie Einstein may have said, "you can't solve a problem with the thinking that created it". So I need to change my thinking using accurate data, then work on how to move on.

During the long wait for my assessment, my executive functioning seems to have got far worse. Apart from eating, sleeping, and walking my dog, I've put most of the stuff I've been doing on hold. I'm just trying to concentrate on a special interest, and clear my overgrown land (when it's not raining!). Even with those enjoyable things, I'm struggling to keep going though. I'm learning to try to simplify things, but I'm still constantly hitting small obstacles that overwhelm me. Just buying something for what I'm doing that turns out to be faulty, and trying to sort it out, is stressful enough, even though it's not really that important, so I've got no chance of dealing with the really important stuff like planning my future. It's always been like this to a certain extent, but never so obvious before, so I'm learning some interesting stuff about myself. I just want to get this wait over, so I know either way.

John, I found your post enigmatic. I wonder if some of the problems you're having could be something else such as depression or ADHD. Have you had a baseline psych eval prior to getting the Aspergers workup? Feel free to PM me if you'd like to share.

I'd far rather look at YOUR problems instead of MINE!