The Dino-Aspie Cafe (for Those 40+... or feeling creaky)

Post Reply New Topic

And thanks for the wonderful memories of Berkeley in '72, Merle! I used to buy my Freak Brothers comix at The Print Mint in those days, just a short walk down Telegraph from Dwight. And finding out you're from there totally doesn't surprise me, you seem very Berkeley, and I mean that in a completely positive sense.

Which makes me think of an interesting question... 2 of my grandparents were UC faculty, and 2 others were UC graduates. Anyone else here from an inbred academic background? I have a gut feeling that university towns spawn a lot of aspies.

Heh. I lived in Berkeley in the 90's. I'd LOVE to have seen it in the 70's.

Dear Prof Praetorius,

I agree with Inventor. It sounds like your brother had the temperament of an artist, and a "better to burn out than to fade away" approach to life. I too am sorry for your loss.

Prof. Pretorius--

Bless you and your nephew. I am sorry to hear of your brother's death. I don't know how I will take my sister's death if she goes first, and we are much as you and your brother, only people said,"Night and day."

We do the best we can do, and I hope his end was at least peaceful.

Metta and karuna, Rjaye.

Last edited by Rjaye on 10 Apr 2007, 2:51 am, edited 1 time in total.

In regards to Fat Freddy's Cat and The Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers, remember when the aliens kidnapped FFC?

Or when he decided to get even with Fat Freddy, and peed on his typewriter?

His electric typewriter?

Oh, man. It figures those comics would be remembered by a good many of us. I used to buy mine at a head shop. I also bought Vaughn Bode's "Cheech Wizard" comics there, too.

Fond memories. It's nice to have them.

Metta, Rjaye

hi prof,
i'd want to say something but have no proper words for the moment...
it makes me think about my familylinks, the excisting and the none excisting,
people who never contact me (like my father) and people i'm close with (my brothers)
and so

Thanks to all of you. In the time since I started posting here, I've come to realize how much we all share. You truly are my extended family. Thank you, each of you.

Sorry to hear about your sad loss Prof. I am at a loss for words really, which is why it has taken me a while to post, but I wanted to say how sad I feel for you, your family, your nephew, and your brother. Your brother's life perhaps was led the way it was supposed to be, for your brother anyway. I think we all have different fates, different characters...I am thinking of you today.

{Butting in again here}

Oh, man. I used to have to drive 145 miles up to the nearest town with a headshop to get mine!! !! Used to drive all the way up to Buffalo Beano's in an old car with no air conditioning, with a buncha "heads" stuffed in there.... I guess it's safe to say that I and several people I knew then would have damn near killed to get to SF. (Had we been coherent enough to target a likely victim.)

Well, academia. Interesting. I'm sitting smack in the middle of it now, but on the staff support side. My father ended up, after a few careers, as an associate professor in a technical training school. My mother was functionally illiterate, and my dad was the first of his family to graduate high school. None of their parents got past the 3rd grade, but it wasn't necessary back then (the 1900s- 1910s). Higher ed was a rich-people thing, not for "people like us."

My brother got a masters, & I think I heard he was working on a PhD in education (if that counts) but don't know if he ever got there (bet not). Sister only had a BA but she was the seriously NT of us kids. I have a masters, am about 15 hours and a dissertation short of a fud degree (ran out of money and ran out of patience - and was at the wrong school for what I wanted to do.) My kid has a hell of a lot of firepower, intellectually, but doesn't see any need to play the game.

I do seem to have an awful lot of bureaucrats in the family tree now, though. Govmt employees of one type or another. I think we like pushing the buttons and playing with the little rubber stamps. And soldiers. There's been a lot of soldiers.

Last edited by Nan on 10 Apr 2007, 9:32 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Howdy fellow dinos!

Hmmm. I don't know of any academics in my family, but a lot of professionals like doctors and engineers. My gr-gr-gr-grandfather owned a plantation in Georgia and had 17 children by two wives. Eight of the male children became either doctors or lawyers and got away from the destructive culture of slavery before the Civil War. I think that kind of thinking was very unusual at that time.

My family does have a plethora of unusal thinkers, along with self-destructive ones, like the professor's brother. My father was a brillaint self-destrucive alcoholic who forced himself to socialize by binge drinking. I have to wonder if the Professor's brother was on the spectrum?

SeriousGirl, I doubt my brother was on the spectrum. He was a 'man's man'; hard drinking, never monogamous, capable of driving a fast car or fixing it, an expert in woodworking, a gambler, and a druggie. He could walk into the manager's office of a huge hotel, and get himself a job on the spot doing carpentry work. He'd end up getting fired later on, of course. He never understood why things that came easy to him were difficult to me. He'd romance any woman he took a liking to, where I'm a typical tongue-tied ASpie. He'd go from job to job, while I have to scout around and file applications and such. He always said I could 'ruin a free lunch', except he didn't use the word 'ruin'. I think he was about as NT as you could find. But he was quite talented, and frequently won a bet. Someone could tell him a random measurement, say six and five eighths inches. He'd pick up a piece of wood, and just by sight, cut it to within an eighth of an inch of that measurement. It was like magic to me how he did that.

Sorry, Prof P.

Sometimes it seems like the messier the relationship/person who passes, the more painful the grief....

We're holding you gently in our thoughts.

DD

Thank you. The responses have been so very gracious.
It's wonderful to have this place to share the good and the bad...

Well, thanks to you all, I have made a lot of progress since I first stuck my foot in the door of this cafe back on page 63 I think. On Easter, (Inventor, this is directed to you especially, since you gave me a new insight re my being attacked by the shepard) I went out on the porch to have a smoke and get away from the chaos inside, and found that someone had put my daughter's dog, an Australian Shepard in the cage. It was incredibly cold here (Phila.) and the wind was howling. There were blankets on the floor of the cage and the cage itself was covered with a sleeping bag to keep the wind out. But at anyrate, Yasha started communicating with me. She may have tried before but I wasn't picking up on it. She wasn't barking, she was making sounds that sounded like crying. I started to talk to her in a soft voice, saying "I know, I know Yasha, it's cold out here and you want to be in the house with all the kids. You're going to have to learn to stop jumping on everyone and then you won't have to go out to the porch when we have company." She cried some more. It seemed like she was saying that it was unfair. I agreed with her. This may sound elementary to some, but it was a breakthrough for me. Yasha seems to be calmer around me now.

Also, I am calmer myself. Went back to work today after a week's vacation with more confidence and dignity. Told a coworker who is planning a big bash for our departing boss that I'd help in any way I could, but if I attended the party at all it would only be for a few minutes and that I would prefer to stay in the office and hold the fort. I asked her to assign me something to do (in preparation for the party) because I don't like jumping in. She was delighted and said it was great that I was willing to stay behind and hold the fort.

I found a poem that I wrote many years ago, I think it would be a fitting tribute to the professor's brother, and I think it's interesting that it shows I am aware of the animal connection on a deeper level that I sometimes forget is there.

And by the way, I intend to hang around, stop in often and let my hair down. Even when I feel insecure about belonging here.

Again[u]

Unconsciously reflected in the fool's pool
liaisons are made that last forever.
Preceding knowledge, reigning over intellect,
time commands perpetual convention.

The animal unseen can not express on our terms
dissatisfaction, and paces mutely in the background
reliable and wholly uncontrived.

A glimpse inward occasionally
an uncontrollable growl
elicits faint recollection of marsh and forest.
The sky eliminates response.
Cold earth prohibits action.

Shrinking from our measure we
imitate the living, annihilating fortitude
with morbid self concern.
We seek to please the arid past
releasing tears that mollify
no great ocean.

When spring revives the dead
we celebrate together
the coming and going of our laughter,
liberate our energy in flight,
annoint the birds with invocation.

When spring revives the dead
we gather from the interim
and with our yawning senses
fashion new ambition
with tools that reappear
like cowslips
from the ageless gain.

oh, well, I have a confession to make, I was in love, not a crush, but IN LOVE L.U.V. with Harold Hedd, the Gas Town bon vivant from Vancouver, British Colombia. I love the one where he carefully chose his brown corderoy trousers, his favorite Sons of Champlain tee shirt, that Houndstooth jacket with the tastefull patches on the sleaves, his fedora rakishly tilted on his long hair with a silk scarf flung casually across one shoulder and he goes out and gets honked at by some staid older citizen that gripes " Ah, these Hippies! They don't care WHAT they look like!"

Ah, Harold. . .

Merle

_____________________________
and I don't wanna talk about robert crumb

Absolutely gorgeous, cosmiccat.

I am the "visual-type" AS thinker. Written poetry sometimes finds its way to my soul through a random flipflop verbal-to-visual algorithm that, here and now, arrived at a/its destination. I am so happy I found this place.

[Lupine, who rarely cries, sheds a tear.]

Thank you all.