Adults with AS, how do you find eye-contact?

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I find it really uncomfortable when others make too much eye contact and don't break their gaze at all. My friend did it the other day and all I could focus on was how his dark eyes were staring at me and wouldn't look away! They seemed to be piercing me and then I started wondering 'is he doing this on purpose?'. Another time a girl talked about herself non-stop but I felt trapped because she wouldn't look away from me! I wanted to run and eventually I did leaving my friend to deal with it.

Hmmm interesting stuff

Age didnt change it for me, training did. Like so many others here, i learned to "look people in the eye" by looking at the space between peoples eyes, then after a while i got more comfortable with it and started to look people in the eye.

As for presentations, focus on your presentation, "talk to the powerpoint presentation" from time to time, let your eyes wander around in the crowd not stopping for more than 3 seconds on one particular person. Take short "micro-breaks" to drink water from a bottle that you bring with you, then you do not have to look at people and can "rest" from it all. If you want to practice, give presentations of things you like, if possible try teaching for a while - again, something you like.

Overcoming the issues associated with looking people in the eye is a big step and it helps socialising alot. The best thing that i have done is to teach, most self-developing thing i have ever done.




And finally:

...a generic tip for presentations that is not AS related - LOTS of presenters make this error: When someone asks you a question, when they are done, repeat the question. If you are speaking in front of a large crowd, most people in the back are usually unable to hear what the question was.

And with that, i wish you good luck.

I've taught myself to make eye contact but it isn't natural. I'm still always thinking "ok, now look away. ok, now look back." and sustained eye contact makes me uncomfortable. If I'm talking it's usually easier for me to not make eye contact so I can concentrate on what I'm trying to say. I watch people's mouths when they speak and that makes people think I'm looking at them.

I have to remind myself to make eye contact. My default setting is not to do it, but I really try to when I talk to persons of authority like teachers. It gets much harder to do if I feel anxious or am afraid of the person I'm speaking to.

I don't like it, I can practice it for a second or so at a time but I'm not getting anything out of it, I think "oh, look eyes". The only time I get the proper effect of eye contact is when I look into the eyes of a close friend, who ironically is an AS-er as well, we sometimes look at eachother's eyes, often by mistake but I suddenly start to like it and I smile at him and it's all nice. But with most people it's a shock feeling, like looking at the sun so I look away quick, with that person I mentioned I made the feeling work for me.

i hate doing it unless i'm looking at someone i'm involved with, because if i'm gonna get involved with someone it means ive achieved a rare high level of comfort with that person

in which case i love eye contact and do it all the time

i think that practicing it with someone im comfortable with helps me to look at others because i have been trying harder lately than i ever have in my life to make eye contact. i was getting a lot of crap at work from management for lack of eye contact, i can do it a little now, but most of the time its painful to do.

I don't really pay attention to it, but sometimes people think I'm not listening because I'm staring at a point that's near their face. So I just approve them that I'm listening, and they see they I respond to what they're saying, and it's okay. I think.

I sometimes wonder if people notice that when I turn my head to their direction to talk to them I still don't look at their eyes, because I usually don't notice that myself. I honestly have no idea how it is for normal people.

Me, I find eye contact disturbing and I avoid it whenever possible.

I avoid it whenever I can get away with it, otherwise I hold eye contact for 15 seconds, look away for 3, then eye contact for 10, look away for 5 (I was taught this when I began trying to learn how to interview for jobs).

I always look at the spot right above the nose and slightly to the left where the eye begins and never directly at the pupils. Nice to know that isn't so weird.

I've gotten more used to eye contact over time, but I'm never totally comfortable with it. Its something I understand I'm "required" to do to get along. And many times a day I get creeped out thinking I'm doing it wrong and the other person is noticing. I was taught a long time ago to fake what I didn't feel, though, so I just keep going like nothing's wrong (?).

I find eye contact very difficult-unless I know the person very very well.

I have never liked looking people in the eye, or addressing them by name. Until now I never understood why.

When I was 12 my mother told me that it looked "shady" when I didn't look people in the eye. That made me feel terrible and like there was something seriously wrong with me.

I still have trouble with this, but knowing that it's part of AS makes it easier for me to think about challenging myself to look people in the eye when I talk to them.

I've been accused of both too much and too little eye contact.

For me, eye contact just seems meaningless and unimportant. I get nothing from it, no "connection".

I find it easy if I'm comfortable with a person. Authority figures, people who judge me, etc. Only way I look at a person I hold no respect for is with it apparent by the look on my face that I despise them.

After being a waitress for ten years and now a nurse aid; I am "physicaly able" to do it. I am bad at holding eye contact, like during a long conversation. I get confused on how often to look away, and blink a nd stuff. I can pass during short interactions though.

Me too! I do exactly that. And it is so exhausting.