The Dino-Aspie Cafe (for Those 40+... or feeling creaky)

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Sometimes. My current boss gets rid of them, but they are kind of like cockroaches with me. One leaves and the next one comes along. Story of my life. That's why I have the big dog. Hubby is aware of the tenter syndrome. I think they misread my tendency to be lost in my head as they can get away with it. They even come over and arrange things on my desk and order things for me. Control freaks, Chuck. Control freaks just love me. They've never seen me drunk. LOL

Oh and my office is located behind my bosses for this reason so they have to pass her to get to me. She's six foot tall and we affectionately call her the "hammer." She also apparently told her other two direct reports that they have to walk me to the car at night. So the tenters now have "limited access."

But, I think they need to do something constructive so we'll either make them tell Hartz neighbors to cool it or have them move her. They obviously have too much time on their hands.

Me? I was pretty spoiled. I could fight, but I generally wouldn't unless I had a drink in me. Then if a man messed with someone I cared about there would be trouble.[/quote


Zannemarie,
I had a friend like you once. We were out drinking in a little bar somewhere whena yuppie group came in. One of them said to me "Nice coat". I didn't get that I was being made fun of. I thought my coat was nice. My friend was street-wise and saavy, she must of thought my coat was nerdish herself, by her reaction to this guy's inverted compliment. She got very pissed and screamed in his face "You got a problem with my friend's coat? How about if we take it out side, I'll rip you f****n' balls off." Kate drove a Harley.

Exactly! I can be a scrapper, but typically not for myself. I have to really be pushed to fight for myself. Once, while we lived in Italy, I was walking up the steps to our apartment by myself and some Italian man came up to me and asked me the time. I said I had no watch. Well, he reached over and pinched me. This was Italy after all. I said, "Nonlo tocchi!" and shook my finger in his face. He reached over and pinched my boob. I hauled off and slugged him right in the nose sending blood flying everywhere. He ran off at that point. When I got to the apartment I was so mad, the anger was emanating off me. My husband asked me what was wrong and I told him. He said, "I'm going after him. He can't get away with that!" I told him, "Don't bother. I already took care of it." LOL

He should have listened to me the first time. Never pinch a girl with five brothers. Bad idea.

Today I went to q church sale with my sister. I am not affiliated with this church (or any really), we just like to go to rummage sales, and church sales usually have a lot of neat things and great baked goods. The tables were set up outside. After we rummaged around for a while and made our purchases, I asked an elderly woman, who was working the tables and who had seemed kind, if I could use the bathroom inside so I could wash up before I bought one of their chilli-dogs. She exchanged glances with the pastor and said "Well, we don't have any hot water." I told her that wasn't a problem, I didn't mind washing up with cold water. She looked at the pastor again. "I guess it would be okay" she said, and led me in. Then she said, as we're walking to the bathroom, "Well, you know, we have little children here and so we have to be careful who we let in here." I said "But there are no children here today." "No," she said, "but you never know what people might leave around and the children might find it and pick it up....",she kept rattling on like that and when we got to the bathroom, she pointed to the sink. I decided that I might as well pee while I was there and moved to go into one of the stalls. She said "I thought you wanted to wash your hands?" By this time I was pissed and insulted, raising my voice I said, "Okay, okay, I won't use your toilet, I'll wash my hands. And you will stand there at the door and watch me. As I was washing my hands she kept going on, "you never know, what if somebody left a needle..." I raised my hand like a traffic cop "I don't want to hear it," I said, really infuriated and not hiding it. She continued "One time a woman came in and... " Again, I gave her the stop sign and repeated with more emphasis "[b]I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT!" She followed me back outside. My sister was out there eating her chilli dog. "Let's get the hell out of here," I said. "Don't you want a chilli-dog?" my sister asked. I said "No, I don't want any of their f*****g chilli-dogs. Let's just get out of here."
When we got to the car I asked my sister "Do I look like a drug addict? Do I look like a drug addict?" I suppose if I was wearing green polyester pants and a teddy bear sweat shirt that old lady wouldn't have treated me like that. My sister said "This is what we get for helping to support the church. What do they think drug addicts are going to blow their money on tupperware and books and chilli-dogs? These people are lame." It seems pretty comical now, but I'm glad I reacted like I did and stood up for myself.

I get followed around in Mall Stores.

I guess my facial muscles don't curve and dance in the approved tradition and the shop help can't 'read' me, so they start thinking I must be Mad Hattie the Ax Killer or some super shoplifter that is going to hypnotize them with my fixed stare and walk out with half the store.

Honestly, I think it is they can't read our 'vibe' or if they CAN, they know it is different. When I lived in Hawaii, the Asian ladies could vibe me out every time. I have to look long and hard for a good manicure place, because I could never pass around Asian women who could just 'read' I was not playing by their rules and got rid of me as fast as they could!

I got tossed out of a Great Clips (low price barbering stylists in The States) because the manager told me I was acting 'too youthful' for my age and refused service because she knew she would not be able to 'satisfy' my expectations.

Anyone else?

Merle

Cosmiccat, You remind me of my best friend. That scene could have been right out of one of our adventures. Did they have any of those super soaker squirt guns for sale? You could have said you wanted to fill one up to make sure it didn't leak and could fire, then soak her.

Last edited by ZanneMarie on 14 Apr 2007, 11:15 pm, edited 1 time in total.

People usually coddle me. Maybe they think I'm permanently out to lunch or something. They often coddle me so much they irritate me. My nail tech is Asian and she knows I'm different, but she doesn't care. I'm absolutely a freak about my nails. I want them a certain length and square round with no pointiness. If she files the sides in too much, I start to freak. LOL She just laughs and says, No point! That's pretty funny because that's what I'll say in a panic. No point! No point! She won't let anyone else do my nails. She's probably afraid they won't be able to handle it.

What is too youthful? You wanted a haircut she felt was too young looking? How strange. I had one argue with me because I told her to take four inches off. She really didn't want to do it. I told her I once had my hair cut from my hips to my chin (which I did). I grew it all the way back out and cut it off again. It's just hair, I told her. It grows back. Maybe we look clueless about what we want?

Everytime I go to the shoe department of our local discount department store a voice comes over the loud-speaker "Security to shoes. Security to shoes."

Recently I went shopping in the city with one of my daughters. We split up and I told her I would meet up with her in the art supplies store I had a few bags with me and when I walked into the art store I was asked to check my bags. I told them I was sorry, but I don't shop in stores that make me check my bags. So then after just standing there for a few minutes I started wondering how I was going to let my daughter know I was there (I forgot that we both had cell phones on us). I decided I would just call out to her and she would hear me, the store didn't seem to be that large. So I started yelling out my daughter's name. The woman who asked me to check my bags must have pushed an alarm button, because within minutes a bunch of guys came out of nowhere and started milling around where I was standing. I went outside and remembered my cell phone and rang up my daughter. Later when I told her what happened she said "Well sure Mom, they probably thought you were some kind of a maniac." Why would I want to shop in a store that makes me check my bags? They could easily rip me off. I should trust them when they don't trust me?

exactly.

and then they look at you like WTF? when you point it out to them. I say 'give me a locker with me the key, like in the bus station' and then they decide they don't want my business.
I tell you, CosmicCat, it is getting harder and harder to be out in public, the less s**t I take!

Merle

__________________________________
" The difference between me and a mad woman is ; I am not mad.
with apologies to Pablo Picasso

no, she thought my behaviour didn't go with my physical age. That set off some alarms in her somewhere and she just happened to mention that I seemed awfully youthful. Probably her way of picking up on my autism, my attitude and demeanor seeming naive to her and she equate gullibleness with a child.




no, they think that we might be so exacting in what we think the results should look like we might pitch a scene that they would have to deal with in the shop and finesse it with the other customers. you never know if someone is going to stand up for you, either, you know.
Remember your exhortations to your nail tech for 'no pointyness?' Some providers folks don't wanna put up with our stuff!

Even if I don't think my AS shows, other people know it does.


Merle

!Thud!!

Hi, all. I'm going to keep this short. I'm trying to figure out why the universe hates me this year. Every month, I've caught a bug, and was sick for two weeks. I thought April would be different--I mean, what are the odds? Well...

Merle and Hartz--Oh, man, bless you, bless you. Moving is the worst. Yes, a van is the way to go. In the end, I think it's cheaper and much less stressful than hauling stuff in a smaller truck.

Chuck, I know how to take care of my truck, for the very reasons you listed. I let my mechanic know not to use the pneumatic wrench to put the lugs in, and what is it about the newer vehicles? The jacks are awful...

I've been in a few fights in my time. I am not afraid to get between two guys, because 95 % of the time they'll back off than hit a woman, though the one time a guy tried to hit me, he got a chair upside the head. My sister jumped a bar (she was a barmaid) at eight months pregnant to break up a fight, only my crippled little mother already had one of the miscreants in a death grip and was pounding his noggin against the wall. We have some mean women in our family...

My homework's done, I actually did some housework, and I put together some office equipment. I got to read some wonderful posts, and it irks me someone pulled Lau's hair out. Jackass.

Some people's children...

I've had a good day, to heck with the bug, so I'm going to bed. Metta, all.

Hi! I've been peering in the window for a week now, reading all the posts. Can I sit in the corner over there? This is my first post and my favourite place on the WP.

I'd suggest you give it a quick check before sitting down. Some people have no respect for corners... or potted plants.

Anyway, having for some reason managed to get to bed at a sensible time last night, I've had a dream!

Well, maybe it's a coincidence (as I think I've remarked before, if coincidences didn't happen, I'd get really worried that there was a conspiracy afoot - a conspiracy aimed at preventing them).

There again, maybe it was telepathy? Some of the posts while I was asleep seemed to be relevant.

Probably, it's just that the tone of this cafe has been heading this way.

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Starter course over. Meat next.
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Homo Sapiens Sapiens has been around for 200,000 years, say, evolving away merrily. En route to us, the nervous system has taken many twists and turns through all the possibilities imaginable. Octopuses (Octopodes, if you like) are a nice example. Something like a brain, but spread out all over the place. Each bit handling its own patch.

Back to HSS. He developed a brain pretty similar to most of the rest of the animals around. Most of the brain function is the same as the rest of the animals: a chunk here for "speech" , a chunk there for "arithmetic", another chunk up the front for "social". All of them with an edge over the competition. On top of all that, a vague form of "generalised thought" or maybe "self awareness".

Evolution doesn't stop. Things move on. For the last few thousand years, social contact has been becomes less of a survival skill. Pure thought is now becoming utterly necessary. Time for a new subspecies, at least.

The brain, for from being a vague localisation of various ganglia, is now becoming a single, integrated organ. We have the evidence.

I couldn't quite fathom what it was, in the fMRI stuff, that... disquieted me. This thing about "Well, look at this. When applying their minds to task XYZ, 50% of these damaged AS people are using large areas of their "general purpose" brain, rather than these neurotypicals, who have this little tiny specialised (overworked, but unsensing, unspeaking) patch that they use for it".

Something about the argument was ringing alarm bells, only I seemed to be deaf. (Why does farting come to mind here?)

I don't feel damaged, broken, ill, incomplete, stupid, subnormal, or any other such words. In fact, I use all of my brain, all of the time. I don't even know, personally, what a "subconscious" is all about. I haven't got one. I gather most people think they have one. Some people have been told they have one (I have been told so), and have believed it (I don't, so there!). Best I've come up with is "If I had one, it would be an excuse for when I did that thing, which I now wish I hadn't." Bunkum.

I don't really care to do "socialising" - at least, I don't feel that to be a survival skill. While I do it, I'll "put my mind to it". That's my whole mind, not just "put a scrap of my mind to it".

I have no real problem with not being able to read "body language". I don't read Sanskrit that well either, but if I need to, I'll learn (refresher), or quicker and better, use Google translate (not yet - it won't even do Swedish at the moment).

So I'm "face blind". Big deal. Someone can just say who they are, and also say why I should care about communicating with them.

My point is (if you haven't noticed) is that I feel that we - the aging ASers - are maybe the leading edge of a change in brain function that will probably eventually become a separate species. All localised areas in the brain will evanesce. At the moment, we're in the process of reusing some areas that have been useful (maybe even essential) along the evolutional road, but are just so much junk now. Last to go will be the general sensorium - which has been eroding away a lot, already - consider our sense of smell, versus that of a dog. The visual cortex will be a major area of reclamation - but synaethetes are already doing that.

So, my conclusion? How about we not only drop "disability" and "disorder", but also "difference". I've been trying to find the appropriate ancient Greek word to convey something like "unified", "whole", "integrated". In fact, there it is (another coincidence, or my brain being a little slow at the moment - "whole" -> "holos".

Welcome Dinos, to the birth of subspecies "Homo Sapiens Holos", or "HuSH - someone might hear us".

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Meat course over. Sweet next.
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Actually, I'm sorry, but the sweet trolley isn't available at the moment. No excuses. There's some cheese and biscuits at the back (not in that corner).

Why do you think my nail tech insists that only she do my nails? She knows how I am.

She also knows I never make appts, I just call and ask when I can come in that day. I think she saves me a time. Anytime I make appts, I always forget them if I don't immediately write them down and put them where I know I will see them. I tip her well. I know I'm a high maintenance customer. I'm even worse in restaurants because I'm so bizarre about food. I always tip waiters who serve me correctly at an exorbitant rate because I'm so strange with food. I just warn them ahead of time and tell them I tip really well. That seems to do it, but once in awhile I get one that can't take it.

That is weird about Great Clips. I see moms with down syndrome adults in there and they cut their hair. They also cut kids hair all the time. Do you think they wanted your mom with you?

That all made me think of something else. I completely unnerve bosses when they have to review me. They all tell me things like, "There is nothing I can do to motivate you. You just have to want to do it yourself or not" and "I have no idea if you are happy or not here." I have heard these things for 22 years and I've always found it strange. Does anyone else get that?

Holos.

I certainly think that we are better adapated for Technology and Science. We are able to work at those professions for longer periods without social stimulation. We can stay at testing until we find the answer. Answers often just come to us. Those are all good things in the new work world.

I am there!