The Dino-Aspie Cafe (for Those 40+... or feeling creaky)

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Ok Ok! I did the math, this one might work:

"Say, uh, did you know that the hair in your nostrils serves to protect against inhaling insects and other foreign particles? Yes, er,.. and BTW, your keratinized scales are resplendent in this 4000 Angstrom wavelength. How about we juxtapose our orbicularis orises?"

Ok! Here's one for the ladies:

"Just shut up!! ! Ut...Ut..! Not one word!! !! Now,...do it. NOT ONE WORD! If I find out how stupid you are I'll stop you I swear. I don't wanna know."

Last edited by Chuck on 15 Apr 2007, 3:55 pm, edited 1 time in total.

You wouldn't get any helpful info from me. One of my old boyfriends literally had to choose my husband and sit with me through the first three dates. I was too busy writing to pay attention to them. Before that, I would eliminate them in five minutes, get up and leave. And worse, I stacked my dates because I was being pressured into having them. So one would bring me back to my dorm room and the next would be there waiting. I didn't even know why that was a problem for them. I still don't understand the date thing. What is the purpose?

What is that?

Nah! Tried that one. It never works, because I've never met anyone that knew what "scales" were.

And no, never officially married, and she had to seduce me.

Back to the "pick up lines". Even here, in full virtuality (sorry Sins, I can now begin to see the outline of the WC forming... does it need a door? I'm not fussed), I can't do that. I craft my words so carefully that I either a) say nothing, or b) say something so totally lopsidedly ambiguous that a unique "meaning" gets across, and it's not what I was trying to say.

Last time this cropped up was... around 2000... when I was propositioned, somewhat, by a 23 year-old. It took me a week to manage a hesitant "yes", by which time it was too late.

Talk about self-analytic... I invented the groundwork for the rigorous calculus of mind.

What?

I leave for one evening, and now we've all decided to breed? LOL!

DD

oh. woah. i thought it was just me.
it was real damned handy in grad school while reading all those books by the dead white guys.

Last edited by Nan on 15 Apr 2007, 1:45 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Ooooooooooo, he's sooo smoooooth!

No, no, no. Some of us have already done that - paid our dues. We're talking practicing breeding, right?

I mean, you do need to practice stuff a whole lot before you get it exactly right, right?

Wait Lau! I think we can rearrange what you said into some kind of pick up line! Hmmm, let's see...

Ok! Here goes:

"I invented the groundwork for the rigorous calculus of mind. I was never officially married, I can't do that. Last time this cropped up (looks at pants) was...2000. Does it need a door? Seduce me! Totally lopsidedly ambiguous, in all virtuality!"

I think it could work! We'll put it on page twelve.

I never said "looks at pants"!

Anyway... must go watch "The Curse of the Were-Rabbit".

I can hardly wait to see how this flies. Please do field test it soon and let us all know?

Nan! Glad you're here! So, you had kids? How did you attract your mate? Was there a cave in at the library from which you two were unable to escape for 3 weeks, or did it involve some type of magnetic beam?

You could always try singing to the lady? How about:


Down here on the farm the weather gets messy
Laying around with nothin' to do
When you went away, you took my cow Bessie
I miss her darling, more than I miss you

You took off your leg, your wig and your eye glass
And you shoud've seen the look on my face
I wanted to kiss, I wanted to hug you
But you were scattered all over the place

Chorus:
Where, where, are you tonight?
Why did you leave me here all alone?
I searched the world over,
And thought I found true love.
You met another and
Pfft! you were gone.

I know that you loved me, here's my way of knowing
The proofs hanging out right there on the line
When I see the snow and feel the wind blowing
Your nighties hugging them long johns of mine

The noises you made at our supper table
Your habits, my dear, were surely absurd
But how many times do I have to tell you
Soup is a dish to be seen and not heard

Chorus:
Where, oh where, are you tonight?
Why did you leave me here all alone?
I searched the world over,
And thought I found true love.
You met another and
Pfft! you were gone.

Remember you phoned me a-sobbin' and cryin'
The dog bit your maw, and drug her around
You said she looked pale and thought she was dying
I said "Don't worry, I'll buy a new hound."

I had six kids and you had eleven
And we had a boy, and they grew like flowers
I wish you'd come back, without you ain't heaven
'Cause your kids and my kids are beatin' up ours

Chorus:
Where, oh where, are you tonight?
Why did you leave me here all alone?
I searched the world over,
And thought I found true love.
You met another and
Pfft! you were gone


No, maybe not...maybe not.

One kid. One redneck NT ex-husband shooting at windows of house. One stint of hiding out and slinking around until he got tired of that. One soldier home on leave from an overseas tour. One bottle of wine. And one lucky shot (not by the ex). Followed six weeks later by a "you've GOT to be kidding" at the doctor's office.

Sorry, those of us who haven't even been asked out to dinner since 1995 aren't going to be much help here on this. I wasn't even cluing in on the soldier until half the bottle of wine was gotten through, and a good back rub that ended up a non-back-rub.

Another good line! (should pique curiosity anyway, eh?)

(Looks at pants): "The curse of the Were-Rabbitt!"

Should be good for at least page 13. (Ain't I a stinker! )

Last edited by Chuck on 15 Apr 2007, 3:23 pm, edited 1 time in total.