so my counselor says i don't have aspergers...

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Does the diagnostic label matter so much? My latest neurologist prefers not to give the diagnosis, except for insurance/educational or other issues where having the "official" diagnosis makes a difference. He explained that (in the U.S.) *not* having an official diagnosis on paper, on file with your insurance company, and in the bowels of the MIB (Medical Information Bureau) is probably better for me in the long run, though I am officially diagnosed with AS.

Therapists have always been a problem for me. I never connect with them, and they notice this, and interpret it based on the treatment modality/model they were trained under. They identify my sensory issues immediately, but beyond that are generally befuddled.

I haven't been to a therapist for over a year now because I see no value in the process. What are your goals in therapy? What do you want to get out of it?

It sounds like a very narrow rigid criteria she's applying to you (OP), is this counsellor a ASD specialist? There's an autism spectrum, and even one group such as aspies come in many different kinds.

I was diagnosed autistic as a child and exhibited severe traits, now I would more accurately be an aspie and have become a chameleon to the point where people who don't know about autism/aspergers say 'no you're not.' What are they expecting, Rainman? I'm already atypical because I'm female.

Anyways, if you don't agree and think there's a possibility that you may be aspergers, you have the right to a second opinion. You may feel it's a label, or you may take comfort in knowing it's not just you and gain greater understanding about yourself from the diagnosis.

counsellors can't diagnose *&^%. You need a psychiatrist or clinical psychologist who is trained to look for Asperger's.

Theory of mind is a label applied to a belief that forms in the minds of infant normals, built on the preconscious stimulus - response loop (monkey see, monkey do). The problem for aspies is finding a practitioner who has some awareness both of the nature of the thing and of what's different in aspies that they don't.

Most practitioners don't have either of those, in my experience. They're learning too, it's just that the system lets them take your money for teaching them.

So true and well said, peterd, everywhere I go for help they end up thanking me for teaching them about AS and they can't help me.

I went to a psychologist for diagnosis and they didn't even really consider the idea because I had a diagnosis which comes out of DSM-IV. I only went there twice.

On the topic of empathy and ToM, I have both and I have Asperger's (diagnosed), because none of them are intuitive, they're both learned and I apply them through logic, not emotion or intuition. It's not black and white like you either have it or you don't. As people have mentioned before, many "NT" qualities can be learned. But it's the fact that you have to learn them and apply them via logic that makes you autistic, albeit highfunctioning.

I've never been told by a medical person that I don't have it.

Only by randoms in the street.

BS. Obviously this lady wouldn't know what Asperger's is if it hit her in the face. I'm diagnosed. I have friends... not many, and its hard to make new ones, but I do. Apparently this baka thinks having one friend in life disqualifies you from an Aspergers diagnosis.

I would be sarcastic, saying how I just LOOVE people who take gray-area guidelines for diagnosis of a condition, especially one like Aspergers, and turn them into blackwhite are-or-aren't absolutes... but I'd be LYING. It's BS and it pisses me off.

I would ask where said counselor got her degree in Psychology, then call the accreditation commitee and tell them they need to stop endorsing that schools Psychology curriculm, because any psychologist with a degree should know that there is no clear threshold when diagnosing a mental illness. Seriously lady, get an education!

Normally, I don't support "psychologist shopping" to find the diagnosis you want. If a clinical psychologist rejects diagnosis for clinically sound reasons (generally offering up an alternative diagnosis that is consistent with the symptoms presented), then I would suggest that there's a reasonable conclusion.

But here I get the impression that there is a failure to distinguish between a person's coping skills and the underlying deficit that predicates the need for those skills.

An adult seeking help will have worked through their childhood and adolescence, and will have developed (either on their own, or with help) skills to address the behaviours that inhibit them. So an adult presenting herself to a psychologist for assessment is going to run up against the, "well, you've made it this far," issue. If the underlying deficit isn't an impediment to daily living, do you qualify for diagnosis?

Just because you have kept a small number of friends, for example, does not mean that you do not have a social impediment for which you have had to compensate.