Page 2 of 3 [ 38 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3  Next

peterd
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 Dec 2006
Age: 72
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,351

20 May 2010, 8:02 am

It's tough, though. For half a century I boldly strode forwards along a path that didn't exist. After fifty or so re-assess and re-direct episodes, I came up against an aspergers diagnosis and I haven't managed forward movement since.

Back in the eighties, I fought for venture capital to enable the realisation of ideas that nowadays look a lot like the web. Back in the nineties I fought to go on supporting my family. Half way through the oughties I discovered I'd been wrong about almost everything (except the software) and started to learn that I should give up. I'm not equipped for giving up.



BornToDie
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 27 Aug 2009
Gender: Male
Posts: 65

23 May 2010, 8:44 am

peterd wrote:
It's tough, though. For half a century I boldly strode forwards along a path that didn't exist. After fifty or so re-assess and re-direct episodes, I came up against an aspergers diagnosis and I haven't managed forward movement since.

Back in the eighties, I fought for venture capital to enable the realisation of ideas that nowadays look a lot like the web. Back in the nineties I fought to go on supporting my family. Half way through the oughties I discovered I'd been wrong about almost everything (except the software) and started to learn that I should give up. I'm not equipped for giving up.


so what are you doing now ?



RedHanrahan
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Sep 2007
Age: 58
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,204
Location: Aotearoa/New Zealand

26 May 2010, 4:26 am

Moog wrote:
I love the word career. It conjures an image of a vehicle wildly swerving all over the place, eventually to lose complete control and crash.


:lmao: :lmao:



druidsbird
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Jan 2010
Age: 43
Gender: Female
Posts: 505
Location: not Alderaan

27 May 2010, 8:39 pm

Well, I've a horrible work history due to issues that stem directly from my AS. Problems with absence mostly, but also largely because I don't connect well with people and often make a bad impression even if I'm doing my best to be "a people person." I had the same problems through my school years and I dropped out of high school due to depression and AS, but was lucky enough to be granted self-directed home schooling for my diploma. Haven't been back to school since then, so no degree yet. I only rose above entry level wageslave for about two months as a "trainer" and that obviously wasn't going to work out for me, it was way too hard so I stepped down and will probably never be promoted again.

So yeah, my career prospects suck.


_________________
Darth Vader. Cool.


ToughDiamond
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Sep 2008
Age: 72
Gender: Male
Posts: 12,125

28 May 2010, 6:09 am

Moog wrote:
I love the word career. It conjures an image of a vehicle wildly swerving all over the place, eventually to lose complete control and crash.

I don't know what you've been smoking, but I want some. :P

It's hard to say what AS has done to my experience of jobs. No doubt there have been a lot of misunderstandings pre-diagnosis, but as an unreconstructed Marxist I can't imagine any job in a capitalist society being particularly lovely, what with the constant war between Capital and Labour, and the way the ruling class always get their selfish way.



Sparrowrose
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Oct 2009
Age: 57
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,682
Location: Idaho, USA

28 May 2010, 3:01 pm

ToughDiamond wrote:
Moog wrote:
I love the word career. It conjures an image of a vehicle wildly swerving all over the place, eventually to lose complete control and crash.

I don't know what you've been smoking, but I want some. :P


From the Oxford English Dictionary:

Career - verb
[no obj., with adverbial of direction] move swiftly and in an uncontrolled way: the coach careered across the road and went through a hedge.


_________________
"In the end, we decide if we're remembered for what happened to us or for what we did with it."
-- Randy K. Milholland

Avatar=WWI propaganda poster promoting victory gardens.


AnotherOne
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 1 Jul 2009
Age: 53
Gender: Female
Posts: 454

29 May 2010, 2:41 pm

uh, career... always all over the place, somehow i manage to stay employed despite my very unusual ways. i am about to have a change again and it scares the heck out of me. new position depends heavily on collaborating with people. i am hoping for a magic here.



katzefrau
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Apr 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,835
Location: emerald city

30 May 2010, 2:34 am

Sparrowrose wrote:
Having noticed so very many people, both male and female, with both asperger's and chronic fatigue or fibromyalgia, I can't help wondering if the high stress levels of living with asperger's is some sort of chronic triggering event that brings on chronic fatigue and fibromyalgia. It seems worthwhile for a researcher to investigate, I'd think.

I had thought I had fibromyalgia myself -- had all the symptoms including the painful trigger points for many years, often couldn't even walk -- but it went away when I went gfcf vegan so I think in my case it may have been not true fibro but a cluster of symptoms of food intolerances.


i think chronic fatigue is often an umbrella term that really means "we don't know what's wrong" .. which probably has a dietary or other cause that just hasn't been identified. i was very fatigued before going off gluten, often deep muscle fatigue like when you have the flu. could be a stress thing as you say, or it could be that people with ASDs are more sensitive to what they put into their bodies and are more inclined to have allergies & intolerances.

on topic:
i'm back to work after a pretty long hiatus, but i have had a lot of trouble keeping jobs and looking back, i can see why: i have been combative with virtually every supervisor i have ever had. i thought i had good reason (and in some situations, may very well have), but mainly it was out of frustration, i.e. inability to handle too much coming at me at once, or a change in responsibility, etc. there may have been other issues (like failing to gel with co-workers, which i am painfully aware has transpired as well) or being too slow to finish projects, since i get wound up over small details. i'm sure these things are related to AS.

on the flipside i have always had jobs where a vast range of eccentricities are acceptable. but it turns out that is only half the problem.

wish i had any decent advice for the OP. :(

and Sparrowrose, your job history sounds like my relationship history.


_________________
Now a penguin may look very strange in a living room, but a living room looks very strange to a penguin.


Sparrowrose
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Oct 2009
Age: 57
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,682
Location: Idaho, USA

30 May 2010, 2:45 am

katzefrau wrote:
and Sparrowrose, your job history sounds like my relationship history.


My relationship history is a lot of one or two week relationships (just long enough for the other person to figure out that I'm not "charmingly eccentric" but "unlivable" and not likely to change and not hot enough to put up with it. LOL) studded with:

* a seven month marriage (at age 16, kind of pushed into by my parents so they could get rid of me),
* a almost-two-years highly abusive relationship that I escaped only to be stalked for a long time by him,
* a six months even more abusive relationship (I finally found the help I needed to get away when he set me on fire) after which he stalked me and threatened and harassed me for at least four more years that I know of.
* the current going-on-eleven-years relationship that I stay in because it keeps my life stable but also resent because I feel I'm being forced to stay in a position of child-like dependency (despite bringing in 80% of the household income!) and often feel like I'm not really taken seriously. He is severely disabled (physically) and would have a hard time surviving without me so I'm also in a caretaker position at the same time. I think we both get certain needs met and both have to tolerate a lot of unwanted stuff from each other so in the big picture assessment it's a fairly equal match if imperfect.

The jury is still out as to whether this current relationship represents "relationship success" or not. I have a lot of mixed feelings about it and frequently yearn to live alone. I often try to discern whether it's more trouble than it's worth or not and haven't been able to come up with a clear-cut answer so I stay through inertia and because the good qualities are strong enough to weigh against the negatives. For now.


_________________
"In the end, we decide if we're remembered for what happened to us or for what we did with it."
-- Randy K. Milholland

Avatar=WWI propaganda poster promoting victory gardens.


Dizzeh
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 15 May 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 33
Location: California

31 May 2010, 5:39 am

I've never been able to hold down a job for more than two years at a time, usually much much less. It's always the stress and anxiety that comes with the people that do me in.

I used to frequently run into the bathroom and hide in a stall for 10-15 minutes and sometimes balance on my back or tap my right foot really really fast to try and regain composure. :oops:

It seems like after I quit whatever the current job was, I hit a depression and have to withdraw or in the really bad cases seek medical help to recover.

I really need to look into a job that involves as few interactions as possible. :?



alone
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 9 May 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 297

31 May 2010, 6:57 am

I am lucky because I have an obsessive habit to find a way to be ok at a job. Once I found it, I could keep a job. It first started with a low paying job. It was in a kitchen. I was helping with prep but studying all phases of the operation. I noticed that the dishwasher spot was a place that could be organized into a well oiled machine. One night the dishwasher was a no-show and I jumped in and took over. He ended up quitting and I moved over to dishwasher. I obsessively organized it and turned the whole area into my little world. Eventually the whole kitchen got cleaner, and every night I left exhausted and happy. The self esteem I got from this job helped me think about school, eventually returning and graduating. It works on the big two in my life; work and where I live. It isn't based on money but a mindset. Here in this little place I live I will create a space where I feel peace, feel safe. I will only allow things in this space that bring me peace, be it they are many or few. Wherever I am it will be a place I can close the door and enter my world. One time it was only a bed in the corner in a homeless center in a church. It has evolved to more now but I make bad decisions and it may all go away. But I know how small I need to keep my world and I can be ok. My job is a gift and I barely keep it because I've accepted only I know what it is like to live with this head. No one cares or understands or is willing to accommodate anything special to suit me. Once in a great while someone will notice how different I am but it is never when I need a break. There are no breaks in the real world unless it is something no one else wants. This is mine to manage, find ways to cope and accept the hours and hours I have to devote to finding 'normal' just to exist everyday.

:(



Sparrowrose
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Oct 2009
Age: 57
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,682
Location: Idaho, USA

31 May 2010, 7:06 am

alone wrote:
I am lucky because I have an obsessive habit to find a way to be ok at a job. Once I found it, I could keep a job.


You definitely are lucky. I loved working as a dishwasher and was proud of how good I was at it and loved how I was back in my own little world but I *still* got fired and I have no idea what I did wrong. I wasn't in anyone's way, I showed up on time, I never tried to leave early, I did my job very well, there was never opportunity for interaction with others so how could anything have gone wrong? But I still couldn't keep hold of the job. :-(

So, yeah, you are very lucky and I admire your ability to find your way so well and do all the extra hard work that you have to do to come across as "normal" enough to be where you are. It's a huge accomplishment and it's just a shame how few people realize that. But I do. Congratulations!


_________________
"In the end, we decide if we're remembered for what happened to us or for what we did with it."
-- Randy K. Milholland

Avatar=WWI propaganda poster promoting victory gardens.


Element333
Raven
Raven

User avatar

Joined: 3 Mar 2010
Age: 57
Gender: Female
Posts: 116

03 Jun 2010, 10:07 pm

BornToDie wrote:
i have only recently (about 2 years ago around age 46) learned about AS and realized i am an aspie (diagnosed a year ago) after what could have been a promising career has been trashed largely due to being unaware of my condition and how it has impacted my interactions with others. i've gone from being a CIO/IT Director and earning almost $150K a year to being a high school teacher making $50K a year...and even now as a high school teacher AS is still kicking my ass career wise. based on the evaluation discussion i had today i figure i have one more year left teaching before i get the boot there (after teaching for 7 years now). kind of tough to find another career at age 50 with outdated skills and being "overqualified" in my primary occupation. in the worst case scenario, i suppose i just file bankruptcy and then off myself...oh hell, why bother with the bankruptcy? what does an otherwise capable and competent person do to live without any employment prospects? without a job, i will lose everything i have, have no where to live, nothing to eat, little to wear. wtf. ok, so it hasn't happened yet but the handwriting is on the wall.

how have others here been affected career-wise due to being an Aspie? how have you dealt with the impacts?


Your story sounds a lot like mine. I worked in my chosen field for about a decade and a half when (about the time I turned 40), I had a small stroke. For some reason after that, it was as if my meltdowns came more frequently and I would get overwhelmed far more often by external stimuli like too much light, loud voices of those around me and getting distracted more easily than I used to. I was once able to tune out everything around me while I focused on my work and 8 hours would go by before I knew it. I worked in a deadline-oriented environment, which did cause me stress over the years, but after my mini-stroke, this usual amount of stress suddenly became unbearable. I found myself crying like an idiot in front of my boss and coworkers. Later, when I started my own business, I found myself having even more meltdowns because there was an ever greater demand on my time, taking me away from what I loved to do (take photos and write editorial copy). I put my business on hold when I noticed I was losing weight like crazy and felt generally ill. Later, I found out I had cancer (fortunately it was caught early & I'm doing fine for the time being), which really put stress on me. In the end, I had to move back in with my mother (who is getting on in years and needs the help anyway), and sit around unemployed. I'm used to making $35K -$40k per year, and I went from that to making Zero. My husband lost his job as well, so we had to sell or pawn nearly everything we had. I'm still living with my mother, but at least my husband is working again, which is very lucky for us, considering it took him 8 months to find another job in this crap economy. I'm 43 now, recovering from cancer and unemployed. I still have my business licenses and such, but no real willingness nor desire to go back into the deadline frenzy again. I simply can't deal with it. in fact, I don't know if I'll ever work again.

If you're 50 and see the writing on the wall (as you described) in your current profession, maybe while you still have your job, beginning sending out resumes for another in a similar field? Perhaps if you taught at a Community College or smaller university, you will find that your students are more serious (because they're paying to be there) and willing to listen to what they're being taught. High Schoolers are tough to deal with these days and I can't imagine the stress you must be under. I wouldn't be able to deal with them, that's for sure. Just remember - it's easier to find a job while you still have a job than to wait until you're cut loose to begin looking. Call it a "lateral career move."

Best of luck,
E333



RossMc
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 3 Oct 2009
Age: 67
Gender: Male
Posts: 147

16 Jun 2010, 12:01 am

Yes. When I was younger, I quit a lot of jobs after a short time because I was unpopular with my co-workers- I mean really unpopular, as in totally hated. Now I get along fine with my colleagues. Also, I have a bachelor's degree, and I was once told by a boss that I coukld not be considered for promotion because I did not go to a prestigious college, only a state college.



bookwyrm
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 12 Jun 2010
Age: 60
Gender: Female
Posts: 53
Location: away with the rabbits

16 Jun 2010, 8:22 am

I've never had a real paid job. The process of getting one is well beyond me. Even telling people about the difficulties I would have trying to get one is beyond me.
Similiarly getting a diagnosis is beyond me, or talking about how I feel etc. People see me and assume I'm alright - at least I think they do. They obviosuly think I'm odd because of my life choices, but assume I'm basicly functional, but I'm not even slightly able to function in that direction. For a start I simply can't use a telephone, except to call the vet for some reason. I don't understand that one but it is fortunate, although I can only do that when I'm feeling ok. Someone suggested
I call my son to ask if he wanted a lift home from them the other day and I nearly paniced :roll: What could be difficult about calling him? I don't begin to understand and to go through the process of explaining to people how I feel and end up crying and acting all ridiculous is impossible. I can't put myself in that position.
Obviously this makes life somewhat difficult as I can't get any financial help without explaining myself. So I have no income at the moment, except child tax credit for my youngest son, which is supposed to be for him of course but has to cover both of us. Luckily I hate shopping and don't mind having holes in all my clothes! He has AS too and isn't too concerned either as long as he has his computer.
It isn't that I don't work , I work nearly all the time, just as a volunteer. I'm really proud of what I do, and I do it well, I doubt anyone else could have acheived what I have acheived, but there is no money in it for me.



TallBen
Hummingbird
Hummingbird

User avatar

Joined: 6 Jun 2010
Age: 49
Gender: Male
Posts: 23

16 Jun 2010, 12:05 pm

I've not had problems as bad as some people here are describing, but....

I've been working as a building surveyor (bit of a cross between an engineer and an architect and not as glamourous as either - throw in a bit of barrack-room lawyer to the description too) for ten years now. Things went well to start with, although in my second job in the field (now on the fourth) things started to get a bit shaky, so I left for another firm. I can do the job, more or less, but I do find that some aspects of it perplex or bore me utterly.

Here's the thing; I was made a partner at my current firm, as my CV is good. Trouble is, as partner I am now expected to charm clients and win business and all of that stuff and...I can't do it. I don't fit in at all with any of my co-workers and partners, I can't charm clients, and I just can't understand people - never could really. My literal-mindedness is also causing problems.

Last year I was told that I had six months to shape up, or I'd be fired, and my salary was docked. This was not for being bad at my job - there were no complaints there - but because some of my co-workers and clients just didn't like me. They couldn't say why, they just didn't - and still don't, although I haven't been fired yet. I cannot help feeling that they are lining up to get rid of me though, and that no-one will be sorry to see me go.

So after a promising start, the wheels are startig to come off my career...