Sex

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sex is over-rated.

only the sex elect [those who have gotten lucky] can say from personal experience that it is "over rated." for the rest of us, it will remain one of life's goods that is off-limits and mainly because it is off-limits it has an appeal greater than its actuality, in terms of the sizzle enticing the carnivore to the plate with the hot-off-the-griddle steak sitting and steaming on it. i hope that made sense.

let me explain- the closest analogy i can think of, is i got to drive a few different mercedes-benz automobiles- surely they are among the finest automobiles, but after having driven them for a little while, i can say they are not substantially better-driving cars than a lot of others. they drive finely, but only moderatly more finely than a chevy impala, for example. it is mainly from the cachet or status of owning and driving one that many mercedes lovers derive the bulk of their driving enjoyment. i believe sex may be similar, in that sex with a real willing and attractive other human may be moderately better than sex with a properly prepared fleshlight, but i cannot believe that it has to be a totally night-and-day difference, like the difference between sexual/quasi-sexual stimulation and NO sexual/quasi-sexual stimulation. at the same time, since using the fleshlight feels so moaningly good, i can't believe that actual sex could be overrated, by any stretch of the imagination. i tend to believe that the people who are saying it is overrated either are not using sufficiently good techique, or are merely grumpy over not having good sex for various reasons. just a thought.

I see many people saying that sex is over-rated or that it is nice, but not great. From what I've seen, this seems to be a very popular opinion, especially among autistic people. However, I have to disagree, and quite strongly. I think sex is simultaneously over-rated and under-rated. That's right: I think even the stereotypical men who want little more than to get girls in bed are under-rating sex.

How is it over-rated? The physical act in and of itself (the physical sensations) are nice. They can be very nice. They can also be unpleasant or just neutral. But even when the physical sensations are very nice, that's all they are. A bit of pleasure - no big deal.

How is it under-rated? The only explanation I can come up with is that perhaps others don't experience intimacy very intensely and this is why they don't fully appreciate sex. Loving, intimate sex is fantastic. Fantastic is an understatement. It feels wonderful physically (or at least feels nice physically--this part is less important), emotionally, and mentally. It feels intimate. And this can be a very good thing. Anyone who thinks sex is over-rated must never have experienced this feeling, or must be referring to simply the physical act of having sex.

Something else to explain: when I said it was "wow" I didn't mean I have an intense climax, I cannot currently climax during sex. But it is still "wow" for me, in a sensual, sensory, physically intimate way, and with experiencing my partner and experiencing them climax. As for the bit about orgasm control, that was with masturbation, which I've currently stopped.

the difference between orgasm and no orgasm is akin to the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.

Meh. With may be preferable, but either way is lovely. (much like lightning and lightning bugs )

maybe i am blessed with a nervous system which enables me to routinely have mind-blowing orgasms, as least with a fleshlight. not to diss the "rosy palm" that has kept me going for most of my life, but mr. fleshlight just sends me into orbit. that's one positive thing i can be thankful for, i guess [aside from having a visceral appreciation of music]. at the same time it makes me somewhat sad to read of others who don't share this vivid bonus of being alive. for me, the orgasm is as far above [in terms of intensity and general novelty by dint of intensity] the levels of arousal and plateau, as arousal and plateau are above mundane reality. for me, it is truly "le petit mort." i hope that made sense.

Or maybe I'm blessed with a nervous system which enables me to more fully appreciate the other aspects as well.

touché

They may be different but I enjoy both. It's not based in reaching orgasm, it's in experiencing the intimacy and giving to your partner as an expression of love.

Being with my Lover, sharing that intimacy, even lying together afterward and holding one another and pillow-talking is enjoyable.

i suppose if i had the capacity to have a mate, i might be able to appreciate such things also.

Yeah, sex is nice but it really is overrated.

Ask a married man if he would rather have sex with his wife or watch the Superbowl.
Ask a married woman would she rather have sex with her husband or go on the Oprah show.

I was happiest in my pre-pubescent years. Truly.
I had my friends. I read books. I was a cub scout. I made model airplanes. I went fishing. I watched my favorite TV shows. Life was great.

Then came puberty and girls started to look attractive.
After that there is no escape. You think about girls and lust after them all the time.

So you chase one. You lust after her. You dream about her. You court her and spend a lot of money on her.

Then the big day comes. You hold her in your arms and the two become as one. Bliss!

But do you know what? The instant you have finished you have no feelings at all.
You want to roll over and go to sleep or get up to see what is on TV. I kid you not.

And now you have a steady girlfriend. Does that mean that you are not going to lust after OTHER girls?
Alas, no. You have a beautiful girlfriend and can have sex at any time you want......

But that cute redhead over there.... Perhaps sex with her would somehow be better.

Sex is something I seek out when the urge strikes. It's not overrated, but it's not a way of life for me either. It's rather like eating or using the toilet for me... just something I do when I need to and is quite enjoyable.

Unless someone is hormonally imbalanced, sex is a need humans physiologically crave. It's almost like craving food, and I suppose food can be stated as overrated. Whereas the lack of food causes us to physically perish, how does the lack of sex affect the mental psyche of the men on this forum?

In the same sense as food, a person may take sex for granted if they are receiving a steady supply from a girlfriend/wife.

Wombat, I agree with you that the happiest time of my life was probably when I didn't worry about sex. After a sexual encounter the craving always comes back sooner than I would like. How distracting.

I've tried to rationalize the disturbance of sexual cravings by telling myself, "How would life be like, if I didn't crave the taste of food."

Lack of sex affects women, too.

in the past sex has been horrible, painful, boring, emotionless...

now with a partner who i love, trust, respect and happen to find absolutely gorgeous, sex is... wonderful. amazing. absolutey perfect. i love him, and i love having sex with him. i have quite a mellow libido generally, but with my man around, i cant get enough of him. hes so fulfilling, and hugely naturally talented. just thinking about him, mmmmm... im all moist...