Making up for lost childhood years in adulthood

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I've always been hyper responsible. It's something my mother's family valued. My parents divorced when I was 8/9 so that made a difference too.

Even as a child, I wanted to be an adult so that I could play in the ways that I really wanted to. And yes, I've definitely been doing that off and on for at least 25 years now. Pick a fantasy, make it come true.

I can totally relate. I have always been at least ten years behind everyone else. I didn't get serious about college until I was twenty seven and tried to get into the party scene two years later when I transferred to a four year university. I'm sure it seemed more than a little weird that this person who was almost in her thirties kept trolling all the theater majors so I find out which one of their parties I could attend. I had bad bouts with too much drinking and making a total idiot out of myself.

Now I am one year out of college and just starting to realize that I no longer have the energy to try to convince people that I'm not the loser I've always thought I was. I certainly wasn't going to convince people by crashing their parties and making a fool out of myself. Now is the time to create a new life that isn't painful and full of stressful reminders of the past.