The Aspie, Guilt and Security Guards ?

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I do have a card which has been issued by the national autistic society. However, when showing a police officer, they don't seem to know what to do. Its is if they have had no training on stopping, arresting or interviewing someone with aspies (except one police officer). Moreover, while the national autistic society are doing there bit to raise awareness, the police don't seem to be doing there's.

I think this is a good idea ... it's worth trying, anyway. But then it occurs to me that it's possible it might have the opposite effect. The policeman may think that because of your AS you are actually more vulnerable than he thought, and become even more abusive.

Where I live, I seem to have the most problems with the Border Patrol. I'm sure that the majority of them are honest, sincere men, but the one percent of them who aren't seem to find me with uncanny precision. I totally believe the main reason they go into that field in the first place is to give them a power they would otherwise never have, and so they can hassle people who can't hassle back.

Wow, that is really incredible.

Yes, the police certainly do need to do their part.

I mean, if police officers just had 20 minutes of covering the high points about Asperger's / Autism Spectrum. And combined with just accepting that people are different and not every person who is different is a threat or 'on drugs.' I suppose that's being idealistic, but it shouldn't be.

I probably look shifty/guilty because I'm that worried I might look shifty/guilty

Having said that, I haven't been stopped yet (only when I set off the metal detector, but that happens to lots of people).

When I was a student, there was a kitchen shop a few us used to go to sometimes. They always had someone follow any group of students and it was dead obvious.

4 or 5 of us then used to go in from time to time and when we'd picked up our tail we'd split up. It was funny watching the guy trying to decide which way to go

Yeah, so some individual on an ego trip can lord over someone else, not so cool. It's not so cool at all.

I think the theoretical approach is nonengagement. Answer the officer's question politely, but do not give any additional information. Or even say, I'm not going to say. And most of all, keep it brief and straightforward. Of course, all that is a heck of a lot easier said than done. And would need specific skills one can draw upon, which we can develop some of. I myself tend to have patchy social skills.

When I first moved to Vermont and I went up to Montreal for a trip, coming back, the officer at the U.S. border guard asked, 'Are you sure you're an American citizen?' Wow, it shook me up pretty much the rest of the day in a vague way and even into the next day. I have a nasal voice, probably because of an overly large uvula (?) that blocks air flow. Plus, I think I probably talk overly precise or formal. I might talk like a professor or writer, well, okay, sure, I'm a person on the spectrum.

Another time they had me come inside the guard shack, and the guy asked me several times (politely) if it was my car. Weird, and scary, even more so in retrospect. I bought the car new, I had been the only owner.

I can see living in Tuscon, esp if I were Hispanic looking, could be quite a bit worse. Or even if I wasn't Hispanic looking, just that it's kind of an overly militarized border.

Well, I'm one-fourth Hispanic, so presumably I'm one-fourth "Hispanic-looking" .. lol.

I would say the attitude of the Border Patrol has gotten noticeably more hostile in recent years. It used to be that we would travel to Mexico fairly regularly to visit family, and never had any problems whatsoever at the border or the airport.

But the BP is much more confrontational now. In fact, I've decided not to go anymore at all, or at least until the current hysteria over immigration has calmed down. Hopefully, it will, eventually.



That's rude and unprofessional. If he doubted you, all he had to do was ask for your birth certificate or whatever. Which you should always have when you cross the border.

I've never experienced attention from security guards. Although since I'm a rather small and wimpy woman people don't tend to pay much attention to what I'm doing. I also smile really well, that probably helps, too. I used to practice in front of mirrors on how to portray a friendly, confident image.

That's a great idea.

It also helps if you have coaches to tell you how you're coming across. My kids used to do that. They would say "mom, you're doing it again." They helped me a lot.

It's important to remember that in any situation, you're dealing with, first and foremost, a human being. So, to get better treatment, just appeal to almost-universal human interests, thus helping you "speak the other person's language", so to speak. Hope my example helps illustrate the concept.

Earlier this summer, I went with my friends on a road trip to Toronto. The Canadian border guards were surprisingly mellow. One waved me with a metal detector wand, while another asked me if I was carrying any alcohol or cigarettes ("one pack of Camels, no alcohol"). Then they said "welcome to Canada", and sent us on our way.

In Toronto, I bought a package of crunchy dried shrimp in a Chinese grocery shop. We all planned on eating it while watching a hockey game on TV, but ended up going out that night instead. On the way back to the US, I still had the package of dried shrimp in my backpack. When the US border guard was searching me, he stumbled across the package, and the following conversation ensued. When I first saw the guard, it immediately became clear to me that the most exotic food he's seen is something you find in a Chinese buffet.
Guard: (very firmly) What is that?
Aspie1: (slightly thrown off-kilter) It's dried shrimp.
Guard: (now confused, but calmer) Dried shrimp?
Aspie1: (flat voice) Yes, it goes great with beer. I bought it in Toronto to eat on the trip, but didn't get around to it. The package isn't even open.
Guard: (chuckling) Goes great with beer, huh. Is it any good?
Aspie1: (calm) The taste is hard to verbalize. <pause> It's kind of like shrimp-flavored Doritos.
Guard: (smiling but flat voice) Sounds interesting.
Aspie1: (seriously) Can I bring this into the US?
Guard: (preachy, then curious) Yes, this is legit. It's raw shrimp that'd be a problem. Go to the blue chairs and wait for your group. Now, I have to try that dried shrimp sometime.

Once we got past the border, my friends complimented me on how I dealt with the guard, and what an idiot he was for not recognizing something more exotic than Taco Bell. (They weren't carrying anything unusual, so they just got the usual searches.) Still, I managed to address his concerns by using the lowest common denominator: beer. I guess in the guard's eyes, any food that's a "danger to homeland security" suddenly becomes harmless as long as it can be eaten with beer.

A new shop opened here.
It felt like the security guard was stalking me.

I think they are not used to people who are nervous.

If I keep going to a shop they learn there is no point.

I have a bit of perspective on this, working where I do:

What probably attracts their attention are behaviors that seem "normal" to you, but are not for "mainstream" society. The walking around w/ hands in pockets, stimming, (seemingly) unusual facial expressions, things that NTs perceive as "supsicious"--all these behaviors are things that they are trained to look for. These behaviors are actually things that I watch for at work (prison), when I'm monitoring situations.

I'm stopped by the police constantly.

I've been in handcuffs maybe 20 or so times in my life, but have never actually been arrested. The most serious crime I've ever committed is buying pot (which is practically legal here). Been accused of stealing my own car, most often.

There've been a few occasions where I've been outright threatened by them; "Please don't make me use force, sir" when I was already cuffed, sitting on the curb, and dared to ask what I had done.

So yeah, my opinion of the police is pretty low.

But I've always assumed it's because of the way I look. Now I'm thinking the way I act might play a part. I'm usually pretty good at hiding my aspieness, but that goes right out the window if there's a cop nearby. Nervousness, you know?

Yeah, I know exactly what you mean. I'm a low level aspies, but I've always apeared suspicious to guards. Funny thing, though. I've been a security guard for many years of my life. So, I have a bit of an insight. I guess you could say similar type people give off a suspicious vibe. Many guards have no experience or training to do with certain disabled people. "Besides", shifty behavior is "shifty" behavior and it is difficult to tell what is behind it. Whether it's nervous or behavioral.Perhaps this will help you be more comfortable. I've noticed the more I ignore their presumptions, the more comfortable I feel. Good luck n hope this helps.

Okay let me ask you something off-topic. I always looked different since everyone remembers me. So I kept asking just what makes me look different? Is my face "deformed" because of Asperger? The only answer I get is that it is the way I act rather than look (facian expression and so forth). But I know part of my difference is the way I look, but I could never put a finger on anything.

Now that you brought it up regarding the way you look, can you give me some inside. How do you look differently? Is there perhaps a PHYSICAL traits that are affected by Asperger? Perhaps aspie genes have both mental AND physical effects, and the physical ones simply haven't been studied as much?

I doubt very much if there are physical similarities with people who are diagnosed with aspies. Typically speaking, people with aspies have social problems and their facial expressions do not match the social situation, which is seen as odd behavior by others. Even if you think your hiding your 'aspies', we (humans) display facial micro expressions which are not under our conscious control. The listener will spot these irregularities and start to think something is odd/wrong and make a 'snap' decision to why this is the case. Most guards/police will perceive this odd behavior equal to that of a criminal or thief from the shop, they will put 2 and 2 together and get 5 (odd behavior similar to a criminal, so must be a criminal).

Although this is wrong, most professions will be trained not to make such knee jerk reactions, and to look for more proof to be systematic in there thinking. Nevertheless, sometimes by getting more proof it means stopping, talking or searching you.

Take a quick look to the left. That's my actual face. I meant that I have a number of facial piercings (a few more since that photo was taken) and visible tattoos.