Has anyone had children?

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i had never held babies in my arms and holding my son was the first experience of holding a baby it was tough for me.

I have no support system my mom as mental issues, i dont have cousins and friends also. When it was time for my delivery my mom was not interested in helping me so i went to my inlaws place.

Morning around 11 my water bag broke i went into labour room doctor asked me that did my water bag burst i said yes but my mother in law told no it didnt

my MIL pushed me into a room and asked me lie down around 4 in evening she forcibly asked nurse to give me drips i begged her to let me do c-section as i was in pain..

my MIL was working in same hospital as senior nurse so she had lot of influence there

finally around midnight i could not bear the pain i was not able to push either but my MIL was just giving me lot of drips and the pain became too much i could not bear it i removed the drip and threw it away.

around 2 my hubby intervened i was taken to operating room and after operation doctor realised that baby was 4.5 kg it was a very heavy baby and would not have come out through normal process.

it was difficult to feed the baby because it needed lot of milk and after c-section my body was in pain. also once i went back home my mom went away i had to take care of baby alone and also do household work

all this weighed me down i went into postpartum depression and overall i could not take care of the baby

i have not gone for a 2nd child........if given a chance i would just go directly for c-section
but since i have no support system it was a bad backup plan and i was ill prepared.

the trauma of the labour room haunted me for many years it was just 2 years back that my mind
forget the repressed memories.

but im sure with support system and good hospital facility which i was lacking the baby and mom would be doing great.

Namaste, that is such a sad story. I hope you are able to find friends close by to create your own support system. It will get better. Life gets better.

It's not always bad.

My 4 babies are ages 2-11.

For the most part, I did not experience much pain. Yay for being different! My labors are generally fast and thus did not stretch me out "there".

I had post partum depression a couple of times. Nothing nearly as bad as teenage depression, so relatively a piece of cake.

I Love my babies more than anyone else on earth and I had never felt such passion for any living being.

Now on to challenges:

Special interests must take a back seat sometimes, which can be stressful. So, it's not as much that the baby is stressful as your need to study ( or whatever you do that makes you an Aspie) can not be accommodated as much. I never found myself resentful, only stressed. You will need someone you can hand the baby to when you need a break. I actually loved holding my babies, but there comes a time when EVERY woman needs her hands free.

I sometimes have to take a noise break and go outside. They like to have kid programs on all day which make lots of noises, then add to that kiddie arguments and fights and maybe a phone ringing and you need a Calgon moment...lol

I had to teach my kids not to start talking to me until I am looking at them. Generally, I am very engrossed in what I'm doing, so if they start before I acknowledge them, I've probably missed something.

Clutter- I can't stand clutter and kids like to make a lot of messes. Don't buy more stuff than you have places for. I buy my kids too many toys and thus I actually lock the toys up so they can't scatter all the pieces. It's like a toy library...only so many can be out at a time. Otherwise, the clean up can be really overwhelming.


That being said, I'd like another baby someday