Roommate stole my vitamins

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I am glad to know that I was not the only one who immediately thought of using laxatives as an substitute. An alternative method may be to flavour (cheap) vitamins with something unpleasant (like the stuff intended for stopping people biting their nails). I have had some vitamins (I can't remember what type) which looked like rabbit droppings, that would be a fun substitution!

If you want to leave a subtle message you could always refill the bottle with some sweets (candy).

A possible alternative if you think you won't be able to broach it in person without it all going wrong...

You say you have a bottle with four pills left. Why don't you leave a note in the bottle saying 'Please don't take any more of these. They cost $30 a bottle (my system reacts badly to cheap vitamins) and I just can't afford to buy them for all of us.' Then, if by any chance you are mistaken, no-one will ever find out about it and there won't be an argument. If someone is taking them, they will hopefully get the message. There's a possibility they'll make some kind of snide comment, of course, which'll mean a conversation about it; however, there's a good chance they won't say anything, and that means you'll never have had to deal with it face-to-face.

Hope that's helpful in some way.

I'll seriously consider that. Thanks. I will talk it over with my fiance and get his opinion, too.

@Sora The bottles both have lots of eye-catching stuff like RAW, No Binders!, No Fillers! Dairy Free!, and it comes in a very heavy tinted glass bottle. It doesn't say VERY EXPENSIVE anywhere , but they don't look anything like Centrum Silver or One-A-Day or a generic brand.

That made me think of something. The guy roommate is lactose intolerant- I could try lactose capsules! I'm definitely just kidding though, that would cause immense suffering on his part. I'm no sadist.

The more I think about it the more I think I'm just going to have to wo-man up and be direct. We've suspected them of a couple of other things that I just let go but unless I confront them directly they're either not going to know they're upsetting us (if accidental) or they're going to continue to walk all over us (if on purpose). I am just really not looking forward to the reaction. The guy roommate can be a really defensive ass, and sometimes his snide condescending "jokes" seem pretty darn serious. I sometimes feel like I'm talking to a hormonal teenager.

What a peculiar thing to steal!

stealing vitamins hardly points to drug addiction, I mean come on vitamins can help supplement a diet...but they aren't that amazing.

Maybe you and your fiance should consider downsizing and finding a cute little apartment that you can afford on your own. For me, I generally really hate dealing with people-especially when it comes to things that could easily turn confrontational-there really isn't a nice way of asking somebody if they stole something, although they may not have thought of it as stealing (as crazy as that sounds). Generally, a good rule of thumb for roommates that are not close friends that you do not trust is to keep anything of value in your room-not in general living space, like the kitchen. Other than that, I would make ground rules clear. There is nothing wrong with making it understood that you are on a budget and that they should only use what they buy. That is your pantry and this is my pantry-I won't go into yours, and please don't go into mine. This may sound really obvious to you, but people see things differently, and it should be said-not assumed. Been there-done that

laxatives ......that's harsh........wish I would have thought of it

Well, the guy was a fairly close friend. That's the only reason we know the other roommate, the girlfriend. She comes from a rich rich rich family and does NOT know how to be a responsible adult in almost any way. With that...

Two days ago she and her boyfriend actually purchased two manx kittens from an animal shelter without talking to my fiance and I about it. They know that I'm not crazy about cats, either (I guess I would be considered a dog person; I relate to them more and I find them to be more fun).

It takes me a while to process news, especially news like that, so in retrospect I wish I had shown that I was upset immediately upon hearing about it. I was mostly thinking about how my year-old puppy was going to react and how the kittens would affect her. I even thought that maybe it would be a good thing for her to have company when everyone else is out working and going to school.

So the more the fiance and I thought about it, the more we felt really disrespected. We came to each other with the same feelings of disrespect and are not sure what to do about it. We've been trying not to let our emotions get the best of us because I would like to take the high road in this case and work things out instead of pouting and muttering under our breaths and slamming things around.

I told them both (separately) that I felt disrespected about not talking to us about it first, and that I probably would have been willing to let them give it a go if they brought it up, but now I just feel sad about it. I wanted to say more but when I actually get to the action of talking I end up freezing up and not being able to articulate myself.

And I just don't think she cares about how she affects others. I try to give people the benefit of the doubt, and I know that she's really impulsive (bi-polar, no meds) so I get that it was an impulsive decision. But it doesn't make it okay! (Wish I had been able to say that when we were face-to-face! )

Put a note inside the bottle that says "Hey you! Keep your f*cking hands off my stuff!! !"

[quote="Senath"]
Two days ago she and her boyfriend actually purchased two manx kittens from an animal shelter without talking to my fiance and I about it. They know that I'm not crazy about cats, either (I guess I would be considered a dog person; I relate to them more and I find them to be more fun).

Why don't you tell them that there's a $100 nonrefundable deposit per pet, and go buy yourself some more vitamins?

The more you say about these people the more I'm convinced you need to get away from them. Taking your vitamins is one thing (and it is the sort of thing an immature non-autistic person might see as a little liberty you could take with a friend – like borrowing a clean towel if all theirs were in the laundry – rather than stealing), but bringing new animals into a household that already has an animal with no thought, let alone consultation, is really stupid. What if one of you were badly allergic to cats? What if the dog is aggressive towards the kittens, or is frightened by them? You can only introduce another animal into a household where there has previously only been when everyone understands that it's on a trial basis, to see whether they can all get on together. Of course dogs and cats can live together, it happens all the time, but the introduction has to be done in a controlled way, and there has to be a plan in place for what happens if there's serious conflict. I'm sorry, but I'm beginning to think this girlfriend is seriously dim if she doesn't know that.

I think what you have to consider is whether this is going to stop. Is it just a couple of isolated incidents, or is the couple going to continue behaving as if they're a couple of adolescents playing at house*? Thing is, I think their thoughtless behaviour would even irritate a non-autistic person, and if it carries on it means you are going to have to live in a state of continuous stress. That's not healthy for anyone. I know it's probably not possible for you and your partner to just up and leave, but if that might be feasible in the future, maybe you should start hatching an escape plan and saving up money to execute it.

Alternatively, do you have anyone really skilled who could advocate for you, like a counsellor or a mediator? This could be one way of dealing with it; calling a house meeting and having the person calmly explain first of all how AS affects people (the girl clearly hasn't got the first idea), then how the behaviour of the other couple is affecting you, then how to avoid it in future with planning and consultation. Someone with conciliation skills could manage the situation without it getting heated and without you freezing up and not be able to put forward your point of view. That could be the best thing if you really can't afford to move out.

I'm sorry you're going through this. I can't imagine how stressed you must feel all the time (my hair falls out when I'm stressed, and there would be red hair all over the floor of that apartment if I were living there!) I hope you manage to work out some kind of solution.

*If this expression isn't familiar, it means when small children play at making their own house inside a cupboard or a makeshift tent with their toy household items. Some adults do it too.

I agree about the stupidity. It seems like events keep snowballing, one after another, and they're stressing me out (I have gastrointestinal upset when I get stressed so my body winds up not absorbing as many nutrients as it should ).

I am not easily angered, but last night I was livid. I was studying for my finals (which are this week) and my puppy came up to me and started chewing on some kind of plastic wrapper. I had her give it to me and looked at it and it was a chewed up blister pack for loratadine. I had no idea what that was, so I checked the Internet; it's an anti-histamine. Guess who is the only one with allergies in the house? The girl roommate, who is allergic to the cats she just got.

So I am worried at this point. I tell my fiance what I found and start looking up what it does to dogs. I go to my laptop to compare the drug dosage to what might be harmful, but the wrapper is gone. Where did the wrapper go? Courtney (roommate) THREW IT AWAY. That is an idiotic move in more ways than one. Luckily I see it and fish it out. Courtney goes on about how it's fine, you can give anti-histamines to dogs no-problem, and goes on waltzing around the house in this unusually calm attitude.

I don't have time for her s**t; my dog's life may be on the line. I go back to the Internet with the dosage Apparently you can give it to them, but at the rate of about .5 mg per 22 pounds or something. She is a SEVEN POUND PUPPY.

OK, so this means we probably need to induce vomiting. I don't know if she actually ate the pill, but if she did she could die. I call an emergency vet, who confirms, and I have to force a teaspoon of hydrogen peroxide down her throat, which she chokes on. Now I'm worried not only about the fatal dosage of anti-histamine, but whether or not I gave too much hydrogen peroxide for her tiny body.

Luckily everything turned out "fine". My poor puppy vomited the entire contents of her stomach and dry-heaved for a while, which sounded and looked so miserable . She was back up and playing a few minutes later, and now I'm just overjoyed that the ordeal is over and her life isn't endangered so I'm playing with her and loving her and cleaning the vomit off of her face... meanwhile all Courtney can talk about is that it's so weird that she found that thing, where did she get it, she doesn't take that brand of anti-histamine....

Michael (fiance) had already expressed his opinions of Courtney and her antics (using some accurate expletives) while poor Ursa (puppy) was in the middle of vomiting her guts out. All I could think about was how happy I was that she was safe, so I wasn't paying any attention to Courtney for a while, but as things settled down my blood started to boil. I would have been able to forgive her if she had accidentally left a pill out- I'm sure I could have made the same mistake. But the minute she heard that Ursa may have ingested the pill, she waves the whole thing off with this confident air and then goes over and throws the wrapper away (she does not throw ANYTHING away, which is part of the reason why it's so stressful to live with her). She's just showed her true lying, selfish nature, not worried about anything but absolving herself of guilt.

Fiance and I were going to go over to his friends that night so we leave after staying with Ursa for a while just to make sure she's okay, and as we're driving my anger comes out in full force. Blame it on the AS if you want, but I am a very honest person, and I have strong moral values regarding lying and cheating, and witnessing an act of deception that could have killed my best friend was enough to infuriate me. He rarely sees me this angry. I am almost never this upset with a fellow human being.

So we're going to tell the landlord that Courtney got cats without asking, and they're going to get kicked out. I don't care what it takes. If I have to cut back on classes so I can work more to pay twice as much rent, as stressful as that is to me, I don't want to live with someone who is, in my opinion, very unsafe and very irresponsible.

At least my roommate-interaction problem will be "solved".

I agree that it's stupid beyond belief to: (a) adopt kittens that you may have to care for for another 16 years without finding out first whether or not you are allergic to them, and (b) leaving a tempting-looking foil of potentially harmful pills lying around when there is a puppy in the house, but please, I'd really advise you not to shop your roommates to the landlord whilst you're still angry. I've learnt not to make any important decisions or actions whilst I'm angry, because they're often disastrous in the long term. Wait till you've calmed down, make sure you're not going to be in a financial mess if the couple moves out straight away, and act only then. You've every right to be furious, but make sure you're not going to do yourself harm by acting too quickly. Believe me, I've had to learn this the hard way!

Here's something silly- she actually knows that she's allergic to cats but decided to get them anyway.

I don't know what else to do. I don't feel comfortable sharing a living area with someone who is willing to be deceitful over a minor potential mistake when a sentient being's life is on the line.

She's a self-proclaimed liar and she knows she has issues, and I knew she had issues, but I didn't see the lying/deceit affecting me much until now. My level of stress with her in the house is not going to subside much even if she was the most honest person in the world because of her irresponsible actions and their effects.

For example, our kitchen has not been clean since they moved in six months ago, and I can't function with a messy kitchen. I've gained 10 pounds because we're eating so unhealthy and I have no desire to be in there and try to make healthy meals. I feel out of control of the situation. When the cat thing got brought up and I mentioned that it's really hard to live in such a messy place we talked about assigning chores and keeping track of them, but I feel like I'm past that point now.

But you're right that it's a bad idea to make decisions while upset. IQ's tend to go down when people are in the heat of emotion.

What makes me furious reading about it is that she'll almost certainly get bored with the kittens when they've grown into adult cats and dump them back at the rescue centre, where they'll be much harder to place with a permanent home than they would have been when they were kittens. She obviously just sees them as toys to amuse her, and your puppy is the same – just a plaything, not a living creature that people have to take responsibility for. I know the type; she'll probably go through life like that, taking no responsibility for anything and discarding it as soon as she gets bored. Let's hope she doesn't do that to your friend.

I agree. I feel bad for the kittens and what's going to happen to them. My fiance and I waited 5 years before we decided to get a puppy even though we love dogs, because the finances and living conditions were never right, and we are only able to now because we are homebodies and stay at home every night instead of partying and don't take month long summer vacations all across the United States like some roommate I know.

The roommate doesn't even know if the kittens have shots yet, which is bad because my puppy could be a carrier for diseases even though she has her shots. Unfortunately they've both already developed some kind of respiratory illness.

My hope is that she'll realize what a bad decision it was soon, while they're still young, so that they'll still be in higher-demand when she decides to be rid of them (they're only 2 months old now).

I'm going to do something very unlike me now and say something bitchy: let's hope for everyone's sake that the kittens have developed a critical allergy to your roommate!!