Anyone 50+?

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I did my BS in Math in four years and then went for an MS in Computer Science. After about a year, I decided to go back to Math, but for some reason, they didn't let me change back for a while. Once they did let me change, I earned my MS in Math.

Then about 15 years later, I went back again in Computer Science. I have enough coursework for a PhD, but never did the research. My committee chairman left and I got stuck with someone else who was brilliant but who had completely different interests than I did so I never did go very far after that. There was another prof that I would have liked to have as a committee chairman, but he had been planning to retire at the end of every year for several years. As it turned out, he ended up staying around long enough that I could have done my PhD under him in computational neuroscience.

So after about four years in Computer Science, it was clear that I was going nowhere and I was ready to leave, but the job I was working at had no medical insurance and being a student let me qualify for medical insurance as if I was with the same rates as for an 18 year old college kid. I had heart surgery when I was 20 and that made getting insurance on my own nearly impossible and the rates quoted were always astronomical. So I just kept registering for classes every year as long as they would let me just to maintain my medical insurance. It was less expensive by far to pay tuition and fees and the medical plan prices through the university than it would have been to get medical insurance on my own, if I could even qualify.

While I was taking classes to maintain my medical insurance, I took Organic Chemistry one year. One day I was sitting in the classroom with something like 150 students in it looking around and I suddenly realized that I had the prerequisite for the course before anyone else in the class had been born.

Awwww, few compliments would make me as happy as this one!

And it comes on a day I really needed some cheering up!

Had to smile at this one- I did a graphic design course a few years ago. The other (young) students spent most of their class time social networking. Most boring class I have ever been in.

Post misplaced, sorry.

Last edited by Moondust on 01 Oct 2012, 3:55 pm, edited 1 time in total.

[quote="jagatai"]
What are the things that you are facing? Are you working out any solutions yet? I really understand how scary and demoralizing it can be to deal with life altering changes of career at this time. It's also a time when parents start dying and older friends develop health problems. On the whole, there is a lot of reminders of how things can go badly around this age. But at fifty, we tend to have more experience and are better able to weather the difficulties.


I think I was very depressed when I wrote that post. I still have the same kinds of situations to deal with - dealing with unpleasant people at work, lost friendships and family. The loss has caused a deep well of loneliness, the depth of which I would never have imagined possible for an introvert. The unpleasantness of some people and having to cope with that causes a lot of mental and physical stress.

I hope you can find some good coping strategies.[/quote
[i]

Thank you. My coping strategies tend to be finding new 'obsessions' and sometimes isolating & withdrawing from any stress-producing situation - e.g. work, awful people!

Thanks to everyone else for replying too. I am not the stereotypical middle aged female, or at least, not when compared with the ones I meed. Mainly, I guess because my life hasn't followed the traditional path and because I don't do the normal 'chit chat' or 'home visits' which I detest, unless it has some kind of purpose and/or there is a drama to focus upon. I guess I'm looked at as a bit of an outsider, odd even, although they probably would never say that to my face
I get on with a lot of young people who have active, lively minds but it would be wonderful to converse with people in my age group whom I could possibly relate to just that little bit more....

50

55 for me. But I could still pass for a 40 to 45 yr old and prefer to date 40-ish women. I seem to have more in common with them too.

I turned 55 last month. Still going through lots of change.

I'm 56. I think I've been through slump after crisis after crisis after slump. But I also think it's perfectly natural. We grow up with certain expectations of life and of ourselves and others, and of course reality is never like that. After my mom died and I retired early was the worst. I would wake up in the morning and go to sleep at night with this feeling of utter dread. I started to worry about my husband dying, and all sorts of weird things.

All I can say is that I think it's to be expected. After all, in our 50s we're not middle-aged - I don't expect to live to be 112, do you? We're on the slide down the other side of that middle, towards death. I think it's understandable we get a little wigged out about it.

I'm 55. I am in a similar life/work situation. On the one hand thankful that I -have- a job, but so unhappy in it. I have started to look for another but I think it is going to be near impossible at my age with my lack of people skills to get hired, so I feel trapped. Plus, if by some miracle I do get another job, I am only qualified to do similar work so I'm not sure if it's even worth it.

You do start to assess at this age. What have I done with the talents I was given? Have I wasted them? NT's can at least point to their children, or relationships with family as reason d'être.

I'm a programmer and was hired by this company at age 51 because I happened to have experience 20 years in the past with the practice management software they are still using. So they did not know me before this age. Some traits that I have had all of my life, such as absent-mindedness, problems recognizing faces, and reliance on routine, I think they are reading as some kind of pre-senility.

I have never told anybody that I suspect that I have Aspergers. The way I see it, once you put the label on, you are stuck with it for life. Maybe it would help others understand, but it would also limit their expectations and offer me an easy excuse for failure. Plus I've never been medically diagnosed, just have almost every symptom listed for it. Whatever it is, my father also had it.

I am competent at my job and I'm the only one who handles my responsibilities which are key to the daily functioning of the business, so my job has been pretty secure. However, management has recently decided to hire somebody to "help" me. Uh oh.

Hahah....I love the last line of your quote. I couldn't agree more!

I'm 52, and am in a kind of similar situation. I moved out on my own to the big city (Houston) and lived a good life for 20+ years. Due to financial and emotional setbacks, I was forced to move back home with my mother -- a move that was supposed to be for 6 months or so, and has turned into 4 years. I'm now with no job, no relationship, no life -- I feel like the years I spent away from home were a complete waste. I'm in no better a position than I was before I started college in the mid-80s. And because where I live now is so economically depressed (rural Eastern Texas) and my mother is getting older and her health is predictably going downhill, I don't see any end to it. People tell me all the time that all I have to do is think positive and things will get better. Yeah, right....I WISH that's all it was that easy!

I recently came to the conclusion myself that holding grudges against people who have wronged you and dwelling on negative crap is a waste of time and energy. My mom seems to spend most of her time these days staying mad at people and making judgment calls on their behavior. I've told her that the only person she's hurting is herself; that those people don't care that she hates them, and that the best way to handle it is just to put them out of her mind, but she's not buying it. I can't help thinking that some of her health problems are due to the stress she's putting herself through by worrying about all these worthless POS.

I've only been 57 for two months but it feels about the same as being 56 did.... I have lived on my own for most of my life, raised my two girls w/o help, now just trying to be as useful as i can for as long as possible. i tend to be fairly independent and am bully proof....
wish there were a better way to chat with older aspies, a chat room that works better than this one does maybe?
hello out there, we are not alone, there's ppl like us everywhere!
take a chance and say 'HI'

I turn 59 in two weeks. I have been extremely lucky as I am in pretty good health and have
worked at my job for such an amazingly long time that I am actually eligible to retire and
looking forward to it. My life is so much better now than when I was younger than 40.

I'm 57. My life has been good and I'm fully successful, but I've run into a lot of opposition. I was usually a consultant, so I could take time off between gigs.

I'll be 59 later this year (it's already 2013 where I live).

I needed help in my twenties and - I am grateful to say - I got it. I married, have grown up children, and have had a career in IT. I completed two degrees, although I had a lot of social and executive funciton problems at university.

I can work 4 days a week these days without any problems.

I might have achieved more academically if I didn't have AS, but who can say? I have never visited that alternative universe where I don't have AS.

Do you feel bummed out by that realization? Fior (who is 54), has a terrible time ruminating over what never happened.

Going to school, he was supposed to do, "great things". Well, now as an adult, one realizes, that ANYONE doing "great things" is few and far between. Hell, just getting up and dealing with humanity and not strangling the first idiot you meet is considered a "great thing" in my book. lol.....

I've lucky. My family had no expectations except graduated high school and get a job. Guess they were the opposite of the helicopter parents of today. Notice no mention of GPA, going to university, or becoming a world leader. Hell of a lot less pressure, and I could explore what I wanted to do without that huge "what have you done that's fabulous lately" sword hanging over my neck.

At 48, I'm okay with what I've done with my life so far. I'm lucky to be alive. My shrinks used to make bets about when I would die, either through suicide (Yes, I was that depressed), or by doing something incredibly stupid during a mania. I thought I would only make it to 36. Somehow, between using the skills I learned in therapy, and just old age, the past 12 years have been great.

Also, not being on FaceBook helps in the "my life sucks" department. A steady stream of self promotion from friends and family can eat away at anyone's soul.