need advise...scared and now alone and so confused

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I live in lancaster county pennsylvania.

There's an organization in Pennsylvania called ASERT (Autism Support, Education, Resources, and Training) that has a toll-free number you can call to ask about resources in your area....the toll-free number is (877)-231-4244, and here's a link for their website: http://autismcentralpa.org/

Good link and nick, crackers.

OP, here are some grieving support groups as well:

http://www.wellspan.org/body.cfm?id=1296

I think those are Lancaster, but I'm not positive.

What you're going through is very hard, whether you're AS or not. Remember that you're not alone, and that it doesn't mean that you're broken.

There should also be some message boards focused on grieving. Please continue to post here as well, but definitely check them out.

Only someone who's experienced a loss like that can truly understand how devastating it is, and how difficult yet important it is to learn how to cope. But those people ARE out there, and they need you as much as you need them.