Middle age burnout

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So I took some Melatonin (5mg) last night, I slept so well. I think I was out a good 10 mins after taking it. My wife said she noticed an improvement in my sleep. Now I did end up sleeping for 12 hours, 6 hours before my work went off, then went back to bed for another 12 hours. I think I overslept a bit much, but I feel good.

Thank you!!



I'll try to work on this, but I openly admit that I'm a work-a-holic. I work between 60-100 hours a week, I know a large part of it is, "if I want it to get done right and on time I'm going to have to do it myself". I can't let a project at work fail because of other people not having the capacity to figure out how whatever needs to be done unless I write the instructions. Are you talking about letting go there? I know I'm considering changing companies for hopefully one with more competent people... I know grass isn't always greener.

There's also the emotional burnout.

Very much like the physical one, you've been running and running for too long and eventually you realize no matter how fast you run or for how long, the quickest way to get to the finish line is to just stop and walk away. You had no business running in the first place.

It applies to love, any form of relationship and for hope of any sense of normality in life.

It's not harmless. As with any supplement or medicine it can be hazardous if too much of it is taken. If you are conscious of its use then yeah its great, but people have been known to start taking increasingly larger doses...and then bad stuff happens.

No offense, but I thought I was cynical till i read this. I'm going to keep running because I have a family to take care of, I stop who is going to take care of them? I don't agree with you at all, I will have normality in my life even if I die trying! I will not give up, yes I'm starting to get emotional burnout, but that is why we are here isn't it? To find a way to make it to the finish line, to make it to the day when my son is grown and I can sit out in the woods someplace where it's quiet?

Sorry, but I'm not going to give up till I'm dead!

Yeap. Ok, it's a pill. Of course no pill is harmless. There's even people that gets addicted to Ibuprofen, that is the typical 'aspirin' every woman carries with her. But it's FAR less dangerous that using, dunno, Valium, for example.

Just don't use too much.

Indeed, using too much is stupid. Melatonin is a sleep regulator, not a sleeping pill. When you reach some quantity (I think is around 2-3 mg, though not sure, and anyway probably it can vary depending on each person), you get the maximum effect. And there's no more. It just says your body it's time to sleep, that's all, it doesn't make you fall sleep or whatever, as a sleeping pill would do. People that increased the dose just had no bloody idea what those pills were, they probably thought that they were taking some kind of sleeping pill and that if they took pills enough they would fall sleep. As that didn't happen (because they're not bloody sleeping pills), they kept increasing the dosage.

Well, fine. But you know, what is not really harmless, is foolishness.



Glad to hear it.

And yeap, I'm talking about letting go there. Of course, I'm not talking about becoming careless. But your body has limits, you can't force them. If you keep forcing them what you get is what you're getting now: a burnout.

And let me say: I learnt it the hard way. I'm kind of similar: when I get involved in something I don't stop. Just a few weeks ago when I went to bed I checked the day schedule, it had been 20 hours non-stop.

Anecdote: some years ago I was doing the equivalent job of three people. After a while I had a burnout becuase of the exhaustion (not a serious one as the middle age one, but a exhaustion crise). I had problems because I was 'failing', even though I kept doing as much work as everybody else. If you do more work that you're supposed to, because you get involved (at least, I do), people think that someway you're taking this responsability even if you're not being paid for it. I used to say: I only take the responsability for what I'm paid. The rest if for free, so not guaranteed. People don't pick the idea.

So yeap, slow down. Specially because it's much better to do it slowly (so people have time to get used to it) that having a sudden burnout and an abrupt decrease of productivity.

Good news, by the way. This burnout is reversible. For me it was so hard that I become REALLY scared that something inside broke and I couldn't recover anymore. Well, it takes time (months, even one-two years) but you go back to your previous level.

PS Besides slowing down with regard to job, if you allow me, I'd suggest using more time for your wife and family. It looks like you got a good one (at least a patient and careful one). Keep her, you can't imagine how awful in the date market out there.

[quote="Greb]
Good news, by the way. This burnout is reversible. For me it was so hard that I become REALLY scared that something inside broke and I couldn't recover anymore. Well, it takes time (months, even one-two years) but you go back to your previous level.

PS Besides slowing down with regard to job, if you allow me, I'd suggest using more time for your wife and family. It looks like you got a good one (at least a patient and careful one). Keep her, you can't imagine how awful in the date market out there.[/quote]

Yeah I know what you mean by that somethings broke and can't recover feeling. I feel that way all the time. What even worse is when I have a meltdown/shutdown I feel that way more than anything. I'm worried that the next meltdown/shutdown will be the one that I have a complete mental break and will never return. People tell me I'm silly for thinking this, but I feel it's comming if something doesn't change.

I'm trying to slow down right now, trying to let go. It's really difficult though, I'm always thinking about what else needs to be done at the office. I'm not worried about losing my wife, she is stuck with me, i'm buying her a house. (It's a joke we have going right now, I'm stressed out beyond all belief over everything)

It's happened to me. Of course it doesn't help that in the past 2.5 years I've been slammed by the deaths of 3 very close family members, raising my boys ages 11 and 18, trying to get my 18 yr old off to a far away college, and perimenopause. That would be enough to overwhelm even an NT.

Right now, I'm basically always tired, and my aspie traits are more pronounced, especially clumsiness. One thing that is new to me is mental fogginess, which is a major bummer since my mental sharpness used to be one of my greatest strengths. I don't get much support from my family.

I'm there.

Now in my case, I do not have sleep issues (well, there is the issue of not enough of it, but when I sleep, I really sleep). That helps.

However, I am only able to sustain my high pace for a part of each day. I need downtime now, in the midst of most days.

I supposed there is a blessing in the curse of being passed over for promotions ... I see people above me in the management community, and I wonder what I'd be like in that setting. Sort of glad in a way to be a step or two down from that.

I consider the year 2011 my burnout year (I was only 32). This is what I believe led my husband to believing I had Aspergers and eventually led to my diagnosis at 34.

It does NOT have to happen to every Aspie.

Pacing yourself is important.

I had my worst burnout year in my teens I think. I'll go through bad cycles, but I'm getting better at recharging my batteries and making adjustments when I need to.

i also hit this in my early 30's. i really relate to what everyone has posted and am right there with you. i've felt taken advantage of as an aspie who worked like crazy since it's all i'm good at but passed up by lazy shmucks that play the social games, reap the rewards of my efforts and ultimately get to start bossing me around. i think its at that point in life and career its a recognition that working hard and becoming great at something isn't valued, just used for other peoples purposes. doing my own thing now.

what is your own thing in this case?

purely curious and nosy due to wanting to find my own thing!

software development. i'm very lucky and thankful thats the career path i chose since there are a lot of opportunities now to work for yourself doing this.

Excerpt on burnout from book, 'Asperger Syndrome: Natural Steps Towards a Better Life.'
http://goo.gl/jBlOY9

This is exactly what's happening to me now. I've felt it coming for years but now I can barely function. Rarely leave my apartment. Don't answer the phone or the door. Can't work. I had no idea what was going on with me but I suspected it had something to do with Asperger's.

My mother says it's the devil. I'm so grateful I don't live with her. She's insane.

There is no medical basis for the "adrenal burnout" idea raise by the author. Other than that bit of quakery, the passage is good.

This is happening to me and I am terrified. I support my family and I need to keep functioning until my kids are in college, at least. Failure is not an option.