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Are you a virgin "aspie?"
YES 62%  62%  [ 41 ]
NO 38%  38%  [ 25 ]
Total votes : 66

edaspie
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24 Dec 2013, 1:15 pm

jloome wrote:
I haven't had sex in years, although married, and have never had an orgasm from sex. Can't. Too many other distractions for me to reach the "unitary state", as Dr. Andrew Newberg describes it, where you zone out and have an orgasm. Can do it from masturbation and growing up in the 80s made me a porn addict like most guys, but it's just a release. Close the eyes, mentally dominate a "pornchick ideal" for a few minutes (or a half hour or more on tough days) and crank one out because it feels good.


i doubt there is a male "aspie" out there who hasn't masturbated.
We guys are so "visual" with our temptations, and the thing is just hanging there waiting for some use.
i might even lump it in with "stimming," it comes so naturally (no pun intended).
"Just a release" yes, that is what it serves as, especially from anxiety.
Personally, i would never do it, but that's just me. Call me the weird one. It is another one of those nagging things that just "seems wrong" to a tender conscience.
Of course, i have had my "accidents."
i'm single and always will be, i guess, although i'm so over-sexed that i don't doubt i could "learn" how to please a woman even at my age.
Don't know about the "unitary state," we will need a married member for that commentary.

:D



MoonRa
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25 Dec 2013, 7:58 am

Asexual (& virgin) here and being content with that :)



Derek281
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25 Dec 2013, 2:51 pm

If your a virgin guy - Get rid of it; quit feeling sorry for yourself - go to a strip club find a girl.



edaspie
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25 Dec 2013, 5:21 pm

Derek281 wrote:
If your a virgin guy - Get rid of it; quit feeling sorry for yourself - go to a strip club find a girl.


With all due respect, that would mean going against my aspiness and challenging myself in an area i have no desire to feel the emotional pain of it all in.
i really am happy alone. Having that one person to be able to talk to, who will know when not to take offense and when to ask when she doesn't understaad. i wouldn't trade that in for all the whoopie in the world, or a one night stand.

Hoping you know what i mean.



ASPartOfMe
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25 Dec 2013, 5:23 pm

Derek281 wrote:
If your a virgin guy - Get rid of it; quit feeling sorry for yourself - go to a strip club find a girl.


Have you read the posts in this section at all? Some of us feel sorry for ourselves some of us don't. Strip clubs? I have been to few bachelor parties where the opportunity presented itself. Losing it on to what to me would seem like technicality nope. If I got an STD, then I would certainly feel sorry for myself.

I can get your attitude and worse thrown in my face on other every sex thread there is. Glad up until now I was able to read about just peoples experience or lack of in this case without this ---- thrown in my face.


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MoonRa
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25 Dec 2013, 6:03 pm

Derek281 wrote:
If your a virgin guy - Get rid of it; quit feeling sorry for yourself - go to a strip club find a girl.

maybe I should - didn't work



edaspie
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28 Dec 2013, 12:15 pm

In my humble experience, i'd say some aspies still have some degree of confusion over sexuality, while others, like myself, are resolved to abstain by default -- no social interaction pains desired.
And happy this way.



TerryD
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28 Dec 2013, 8:56 pm

edaspie wrote:
In my humble experience, i'd say some aspies still have some degree of confusion over sexuality, while others, like myself, are resolved to abstain by default -- no social interaction pains desired.
And happy this way.


This is exactly like me, and I am 56 years old.



ASPartOfMe
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29 Dec 2013, 3:54 pm

TerryD wrote:
edaspie wrote:
In my humble experience, i'd say some aspies still have some degree of confusion over sexuality, while others, like myself, are resolved to abstain by default -- no social interaction pains desired.
And happy this way.


This is exactly like me, and I am 56 years old.


Bingo. We have a little group.


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American
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30 Dec 2013, 10:08 pm

I am a 25 year old virgin. It makes me feel better to see that I am not the only Aspie in this late blooming situation.



edaspie
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04 Jan 2014, 3:24 pm

Right on, American.

i am 54 years young.



daar
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24 Jan 2014, 4:13 am

I'm 20 atm, but I plan on staying a virgin for at least a couple more years. I've considered the benefits and outcomes of a sexual relationship, and honestly I think that the cons outweigh the pros for me. I probably wouldn't be able to lose my virginity if I really wanted to anyways, which I factored into this. It isn't that no one would want to be with me, it is just that I would have to be with the right person to feel comfortable with it.



edaspie
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24 Jan 2014, 5:58 am

daar wrote:
I'm 20 atm, but I plan on staying a virgin for at least a couple more years. I've considered the benefits and outcomes of a sexual relationship, and honestly I think that the cons outweigh the pros for me. I probably wouldn't be able to lose my virginity if I really wanted to anyways, which I factored into this. It isn't that no one would want to be with me, it is just that I would have to be with the right person to feel comfortable with it.


Hey daar!

Personally i agree with you, but a little further. i have the belief that sex wasn't meant for humans to practice like, to be forthright, animals mating in the wilderness.
i believe humans are meant to use sex to bond specially to the person you have committed mutually to spend your lives together, for as long as you both shall live.
Sure i'm old-fashioned. i do belong, in some respects, in the Victorian Era. So i'm weird !

Best of Health All, edaspie

:D



BLK95TA
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01 Feb 2014, 3:29 pm

34 and have never had a desire to have sex. Haven't really dated. People always thought it was weird. I'm discovering that i most likely have AS and the way i feel seems to be somewhat common in people with AS.



Solitudinarian
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02 Feb 2014, 8:57 am

I literally haven't had sex in decades. Two decades, to be precise. And the few clumsy sexual experiments back in my youth weren't really enjoyable, just increadibly awkward and anxiety-inducing. Especially afterwards, when I just wanted to be alone ASAP. Preferably under a hot shower. I wouldn't worry about missing out on anything if you never went through this particular social hell.

The only part that I really enjoyed was performing oral sex. Giving pleasure to another person made me feel kind of useful, without this terrible pressure to sexually perform and enjoy myself at the same time. I can only enjoy myself when I'm relaxed, and I can't relax around other people. There is not enough alcohol in the world to help me relax in this kind of situation.

So I decided that couple sex just isn't for me. The same goes for romantic relationships, seeing that I can't cope with human company for more than an hour or two at a time. Btw, I also found kissing to be an utterly pointless exercise. I "get" kissing people on the cheek as a sign of affection, or kissing someone's body for the purpose of sexual stimulation. But tongue-mashing, plaque-licking and saliva-exchanging french kisses are both pointless and icky in my subjective opinion.

PS: I've often thought that all I need in terms of physical contact are regular hugs. Three or four times a year should be sufficient. Why is there no such thing as a commercial hugging service? How come people can buy sex, but not a simple hug? The world is a strange place.



theduckrabbit
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06 Feb 2014, 6:44 pm

I am not a virgin. In fact I went through about a year of being fairly promiscuous in my mid-twenties. I do not seem to enjoy sex for the typical reasons, though. For me it was much more about connecting with someone and making them happy. That was back when I still gave a s**t, before I got wise. I used to say I was "sexual tofu," with no real flavor of my own but rather I absorb that of my partner. I do not climax, from sex or otherwise, though I wont get into my issues re: solo at this time. I just do not let go I suppose. Interestingly, I have become very anxious about sex and even avoidant only since I have been in the one and only good and respectful relationship of my life. Now that the focus is on me, now that I am not just playing some sex kitten while a man uses me as a masturbatory aid, I find myself at a loss for what to do. It is very depressing.