One-Night Stand

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The best ones are successful business relationships. And more and more I think sex is a business transaction. It is so rare to actually have a connection with someone. And it's easier to get along with two as one ... or in your case, several.

From personal experience I have found that if I'm to have sex with someone within 48 hours of meeting them, it's all just lust. It's a matter of my self-esteem or wanting something physical I haven't had in a while. It isn't selfish to not reciprocate the desire to continue contact, it isn't selfish to use someone in a manner because these encounters typically entale just that, short-term physical intimacy. The last time it happened to me, it was mutual that we not text or make any effort to contact each other, and we did not.

It's not to say more couldn't have come from it, you both could've enjoyed it and each other to the point of wanting to get to know each other more, but it doesn't always happen, and it's not always either person's fault for being undesirable, I found that's just how it works.

Marriage should never be a "business relationship."

To a certain extent, my marriage is a "business relationship."

My wife is okay--but I'd rather have a romantic marriage.

Hence, I want to, eventually, leave my wife on amicable terms.

I'm gay. I've had many one night stands - all via chatting online first, not night club hookups. I've rarely felt anything at all for a hookup afterwards. Only ever met a few guys I'd have considered dating if it were an option available to me. Otherwise I haven't really had any feelings for one night stand hookup partners. I've had some ongoing fwb type friends over the years that I've at least felt respect for, but not love. I don't know if this is all ASD related, or a gay thing, or just a guy thing.. but it is what it is and apparently it's not all that uncommon if others are posting that they've felt nothing for a one night stand partner.

However, now at the old age of 32, it's almost as if a switch has been flipped and I'm bored with meaningless sex and am currently on the lookout for a potential relationship. I think in large part what's brought this about is accepting that I'll only ever be really close friends with my crush as he doesn't have romantic feelings towards me. We've discussed this stuff and have become even better friends for it, which is awesome. But now that I've accepted that I won't be with him, I'm more open to the idea of being with someone else. Honestly, I'm looking forward to a day when sex is with someone I love vs. just physical gratification. In the present moment I'd rather read a book and go to sleep than get laid, to be honest. Casual hookup sex is just too easy to obtain, so easy I don't even really care for it. Very classic economics at play.. people always want what they can't have & don't really care for what they can have in abundance. Currently chatting w/ guys on dating sites vs. hookup sites.. and spent today having a couple chats with a guy I'm curious to meet for sure. Never know, maybe we'll click and end up dating. That would be nice. I haven't really ever dated anyone ever in my life.. but now that I'm comfortably "out," and a lot more ready for that sort of thing, I'm looking forward to it.

[quote="androbot01"]...This young guy - 32 years old - starts talking to me at the bus transfer station the other day. I'll spare the details but I ended up going back to his place and having sex with him. He texted me a few times after but I told him we should just leave it at what it was. The thing is that I have no particular feeling about this encounter. The best part was when he held me after which I am not use to. But I didn't feel anything for him other than I would anyone whose path I crossed. So I this autism or sociopathy or acute depersonalization? Or maybe just the result of being jaded from past experiences? Any one have a similar experience?[/quote]
Yes, I've had a few similar experiences. I just leave it where it lies and make myself not analyze it.

It's good, imho, that you stopped him from texting you, because it makes a clean and safe break. Perhaps if you are wondering about your reaction it means that you are trying to find out more about yourself?

(^I don't know why the quote function isn't working there.)

The site is glitchy today. But yeah, the event did leave me questioning myself. I think I have depersonalized to the extent that I don't connect with my own body.,