Anxiety about Middle Age

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There are always younger ladies who really enjoy older guys.

All hope is not lost!

I´m 61 and have been scared of getting old, but I have ended up refusing to let myself be governed by an abstract number and attached conventions.
I am exactly as old as I function!

I suppose (if I think about it) I am a bit nervous about having something “bad” happen to me as I get older (getting some disease or whathaveyou).

Then again, I always have something to worry about. I have had a problem with chronic worrying since I can remember (at least as far back at 5). If it’s not about middle age, it will about be something else.

I'm the same as others here who posted about looking and acting younger than they are, and that their self-image stopped somewhere at a younger age. I don't relate to most people my own age. I too also see people on TV or even in real life, who seem old and decrepit, and I'm shocked to learn they are either my age or sometimes younger.

I still feel like any and all younger ages inside my spirit. I can feel the same as the eight year old I was, the fifteen year old, the 22 year old. I feel like all the ages I've ever been are still alive inside me and I've never lost touch with any of those ages and stages. I also have a vivid long-term memory and can relive those ages in my life with just one thought.

At the same time, it's getting harder and harder for me to remember what I had for dinner yesterday!

My body is also starting to let me down -- I am developing long-standing, chronic joint and muscle pain I didn't have just a handful of years ago.

I still get mistaken for younger than I am, by strangers, who act shocked if I tell them my age. But the aches and pains are creeping up on me.

I do feel dismayed and distressed at how I can sometimes still be horrifyingly naive. There is danger in that, and so I'm angry with myself that I can STILL be that vulnerable. That IS a worry.

Sometimes, for that kind of reason, I do wish I had managed to find a wonderful partner in life who could be my guide when I need one. I don't always need such help but it would be nice to think I'm not completely alone at times when people could do me harm and I don't have what it takes to get the right help.

I will be honest and say that IS a concern of mine. Even NT couples know they are stronger and less vulnerable to attack of any nature with two of them to fight the battles in life, rather than one person who can be picked on.

Even animals know this. Everyone is in a stronger position against foes or life's harshness if they have someone who "has their back," not just auties.

But I'm going forward alone and I just have to do the best I can do to take lessons from my past and try to stay aware, while not losing the best parts about being childlike. What I do love about my perpetual state of inner youthfulness is that I have never lost a sense of joy and wonder in the things that give me joy. I work, I pay bills, I live independently but inside I'm a little kid who has lots of fun in little kid ways, and I enjoy it.

"Aspies are natural worriers". (Tony Attwood)

I owned two worry birds when I was a child.



Unfortunately, they didn't help.

Sometimes, I wish I could simply turn my mind off (and be like everyone else), so I wouldn't worry about every little detail of everything. Since I can't turn my mind off, I spend all my time thinking through every little detail of everything. It’s as if my mind “seeks” to find things to worry about.

Major Existential dread here I am afraid. I try to surround myself with people that like me for me. It can be hard to find such people but when you do they are like gold.

It does too.
I know this, but it has become better after dx.
Not that it is actually gone...people describe me as a bigtime worrier....but it definitely got better, once I accepted it as a characteristic.

I am glad to hear that it has gotten better for you.

For me, I am not certain if this is the case (things getting better). I suppose, in some ways, I am still hoping that I wake up from this bad dream and become something that I am not.

You´ll have to work on that. Find your best strengths. Be very aware of them - and establish some routines, that can help you control at least some of your worries.
I have taken away much of my fear of leaving my flat by a little check routine followed by the verbal statement, that I´ve done this + date and time. That way, I know, I´ve checked everthing and that no harm will come to the house tiger, while I´m away.
I have got rid of "losing-my-keys" panick by wearing them around the neck. People look at it a bit, but I don´t mind.
You could perhaps take the load of a couple of worries by doing something similar.

I wish I had your mechanical acumen, Rocket.

I'm just an old schmo waiting for my pension.

Kraftie - I didn't realize I had mechanical acumen. Dang, I am not even certain what it is. But thanks

By the way, I'm a schmo as well. But, I don't have a pension to look forward to.

You are feeling like a child who never wants to grow up yet your aging body puts you in a dilemma, right ? It might be because we live mostly inside our minds and pay less attention to what is going on the outside, in our body or in our surroundings, our environment. If you notice carefully, although age is just a number, our mind is also growing with our body. In your case, the mind is not able to catch up with your body because maybe as you are growing old in your body, you have not expanded your mental consciousness. We can still play with dolls at the age of fifty or laugh like a child, but that does not mean that we cannot look at our environment, our bodies, with attention,love and care...for example, around our parents, we might be still behaving like little kids, but will you be terrified to see wrinkles in your mom's face ? and if yes, would you stop caring for her ? So, I think that love will fill the gaps if there are any...love yourself, take care of your body, wear nice clothes and after that when you look yourself in the mirror, smile at the mirror and say " I love you"- everyday.

Kill Snow White so that you will still be fairest in the land!

I don't feel any different at 50 than I did at 40 or 30. I look a bit different, but in most ways I'm embarrassed at memory of my younger self so I don't really cling to any idealized image of the way things used to be.

Jenson quoted Attwood as saying, "Aspies are natural worriers." OH. YES. pegged.

I'm worried less about this post and have moved on to other worries not (for a while, at least...)

Thanks for everyone's responses..