How has a diagnosis changed your relationship

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I think it has been somewhat helpful. My partner is more understanding about my inability to talk when emotional, and how hard it is for me to break my flow to switch gears and pay attention to her, know that we know I'm on the spectrum.

I'm in an ASD/NT marriage of 17 years, and we just found out that my husband is ASD last week. It has been monumentally helpful to find out. Behaviors that made it seem like he was disgusted with me and didn't like me anymore (increased critical-ness and controlling-ness due to life upheaval/routine disruption), along with a million other things suddenly made sense. It's such a game changer that I'm giddy with hope - whereas I'd (regrettably) blurted in anger and frustration that I wanted a divorce twice in the last six months due to feeling hopeless that our situation would ever change. Now I'm sucking down information on how to best communicate with him like air.

Have you tried any online aspie inventories? I believe the Aspie-Quiz is the most comprehensive (200 questions), and may give you an idea whether formal evaluation would be merited.