What is the most hurtful thing anyone has ever said to you..

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I wonder if your brother knows the new elements LOL

A toss up between "You don't even try to fix it," and "Everyone is like that, you're nothing special." In regards to my NLD. I've been insulted in various other ways too, but I think those couple of statements sting the most because they deeply invalidate my experiences.

being told over and over I was a very selfish and lazy person as a kid.

"Stop blaming everything on the Aspergers..."

Yeah ok, its a switch that can be turned off, show me the switch and I will flip it.
(This has happened twice now in 2 months and from people that I would have NEVER expected it from.)

For the record, I don't "BLAME" anything on my ASD, I sometimes point out a specific behavior from time to time as an explanation, but I never use it as an excuse.... I honestly wear my ASD as a badge of honor, not a shroud of shame.

As a kid, my school reports constantly mentioned that I wasn't trying. I didn't know how to try, nor how to explain that I didn't know how to. I had an ability in/ease with maths that I didn't have anywhere else (be it science, history, English), and I guess the teachers thought I was just slacking off the rest of the time.

As an adult, being called a 'sack of potatoes' and 'soporific', both times by women I was in a relationship with, alluding to my tendency to getting lost in my head.

When I was sixteen, we were offered at school the possibility to do some voluntary work. Seeing it as the one golden opportunity to do something other than studying and what my parents told me to, and go outside a little, since it didn't cost money, and---I blissfully hoped---it couldn't be considered selfish on my part, I joined. Surely enough, a few months later, my parents voiced their resentment because I wasn't devoting that time to them instead. This made me feel guilty and I mostly forgot about doing any kind of voluntary work ever again.



Do you mean just the elements and their symbols, or also all kinds of properties, like electron configurations, oxidation states, electronegativities and so on?

Most hurtful things people have said to me weren't about Asperger's or autism, but I think most people where I live don't have have a clue about and I wasn't diagnosed until about 15 years ago as an adult.

But some things people have said have hurt me so badly that sometimes I hear the phrase playing over and over like a broken record in my head, intruding on my other thoughts, even years after it was said, like when I complained to a staff member in a home after the two other residents came in early in the morning after drinking all night, being loud and obnoxious after I had spent the whole night unable to sleep, and it escalated into an argument where I shouted at the staff that I hated the noise, and he then screamed, "WELL YOU SURE LOVE TO YELL!!"

Another time a staff in the hospital noticed the cartoons I was doodling and he said he couldn't understand why I could draw such, cute, happy, friendly-looking characters. He didn't think a hostile, angry, violent person like myself was capable of drawing such things.

I dunno, Walt Disney was supposed to have been evil too, wasn't he? Cynics go on about him being anti-Jewish and racist and sexist but I don't think he really was any more than most Americans in that era. But he probably even didn't draw his own characters, UB Iwerks did. I get it. When I go to hell at least I'll get to meet ol' Walt and ask him about it while we're writhing in horrific eternal agony. But I've digressed.

I had one person at high school tell me that I should kill myself because nobody would miss me. That's easily the worst thing that anyone has ever said to me.

My first girlfriend's mother saying to me "I just don't see what you've got to offer a young lady".
Sometimes I lay in bed at night and wonder if she's met an unfortunate and gruesome end, like a horrible car accident or something... It puts a little smile on my face.

An ex-partner of mine who, several years after we agreed to remain friends, half-stifled a laugh a year ago when I told him that I had been screened with autism and was seeking an inevitable diagnosis. He hasn't replied to my few e-mail messages (wherein I described briefly feeling quite vulnerable discussing my neurology in what could be construed as less-than-flattering ways; yes, my attempt to beg the apology) thereafter. So much for progressive-minded gay Democrats' inclusivity of diversity. When confronted with real-life autism among their own friends, they run scared like all people, I suppose. Cowards, the lot of them.

Just the elements but I wouldn't be surprised if he knew all that information too. He is the type of guy who stayed up till 3am playing video games, frequently skipped class, never did homework yet usually got A+ in everything.


Ugh. Yes, I heard this multiple times. What really made it cut deep was that it was said privately and not as a grandiose show for the 'crowd'. I even had one kid who barely knew me gleefully comment on how he would happily murder me if he could get away with it. Such a lovely thing to say to a sweet, naïve kid who took everything as literally true!

That's how it was said to me too. I don't think I did anything to warrant it being said to me either. The kid that said it to me was so on and off - one day he'd be nice to me, the next he was nothing more than a cruel, vicious scumbag. I have no idea what he's up to now but I don't think it'd be a pretty sight if we ever met again.

The strangest thing to me about the whole thing is that I've had people ask me why it bothers me so much that someone told me I should kill myself. I honestly don't see how it could even be possible to not be affected by such a thing.

I'm sorry that you had to deal with this too. I still think it's one of the most blatant displays of human cruelty that I've ever seen or heard of in my life.

I had both the cruel vicious scumbag and his cruel, vicious sociopath father (mom recently told me she expected him to slash our tires or shoot out the windows) but I also heard it from a honor roll student who was otherwise a nice, normal kid. THAT is what really hurt the most: at least the scumbag was always a scumbag. I too have never been able to understand why I could have possibly done to 'deserve' such treatment. I wouldn't even say that to Hitler himself!!


Thanks although that was mild compared to some of the things that were done. My own brother even told me he has the 'list' and promised me he would 'take care of them' should he have a terminal illness. He then smiled and said there are positives to being an Atheist.

1.) You're not autistic, you're just an attention-seeking special snowflake

2.) Autism is over-diagnosed, it's just a fad, probably doesn't even exist

3.) I feel sorry for your family, they're the ones who really suffer from your condition

I found that to be true in my experience as well. You would expect people who are already known for displaying cruel behaviour to say and do cruel things but you expect it a bit less from people who appear to be nicer and more normal than those people on the surface. Maybe because your energy is already focused on deflecting attacks from people who are outwardly cruel, you don't have as much of an opportunity to defend yourself from people who trick you into thinking that they're nice and then show their true colours. The unexpected nature of it might be responsible for creating a deeper wound.

I still think about the kid who said this to me from time to time and still can't come up with any solid or vaguely understandable reason why he might have said this to me. I'd be lying if I said I've never been rude or mean to anyone else in my life but I've never acted that way of my own accord. It's always been in response to someone whose been rude or mean to me first and even so, I didn't always react that way. I've been nice to many people who didn't really deserve it in my time. Even if I had done something to this kid to warrant him being so negative towards me, I still think that telling me I should kill myself and that nobody would miss me if I did is taking it way too far. Words like that genuinely hurt and I don't think you ever quite get over being told something along the lines of "your life means nothing to me".

I'm an atheist as well. It certainly has its perks. It's great that you have a brother whose willing to protect and stand up for you like that even if it has been a long time since the events transpired.

My mother has schizophrenia and I had confided this information to a person I saw as a potential friend. After relaying this information said party said, no less in a condescending tone, "no wonder you seem so crazy". On the outside I laughed it off but inside i died a little. I since have cut off contact with this person.