newly diagnosed 61 yr old Aspie

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Yes, dx last year at 58

I've got a self diagnosis. I have wasted the last 10-12 years in burnout as an undiagnosed AS trying to figure out what/why things panned out the way they did. I have lost a lot in that time but finding an answer to the search I have been on has been a help. My son was diagnosed about the same time back but I didn't join the dots. Being unable to see the elephant in the room seems to be a problem for me. I can now see the traits in my own father who died young but was very creative. I am only now examining his legacy.

Self discovery is life changing. You know better, then you do better. It's good.

It is a Eureka moment although its been a long time coming. I am a little shocked!

I was diagnosed with Asperger's almost 10 years ago and I'm not sure I've every fully accepted or become comfortable with it despite being almost a text book case. At first I had a period of calm because it certainly explained a lot of my difficulties in life. But the diagnosis also threw me into a kind of existential crisis. I had been raised to believe that my problems could be overcome by hard work, the right medications, therapy etc. and it has been hard to accept that some of my deficits cannot be changed.

I can't turn back time or speculate what my alternate reality would have been if I had been diagnosed at a younger age, but I certainly think I would have organized my life differently rather than constantly banging my head against the wall and hoping that the next time things would turn out differently. This especially applied to my inability to maintain social relationships, need for solitude and things such as problems with eye contact.

Yes, I remember the moment I stumbled on it, the key to what I'd been doing wrong all my life. Quite an epiphany. I recall not sleeping for three days, going over everything in my mind. That was about 10 years ago. I'm 62 now.

I ended up writing it down. You can read the first few pages for free on Amazon (link to US site below). If you like my style, you can read the rest.

---------------

Author of 'At Home Abroad'
http://www.amazon.com/dp/1507565372

I greet you

No. I cannot relate, because my experience is this.

I have one friend, my wife, the smart one. I have three adult kids and three grandkids. My relationships with the adults, save my hard working, unheralded wife, are on life support. We are all sort of holding our breath to see who pulls the plug. If my children are sensible, they will do it and get out before I have another meltdown which finishes it off.

I do not seem to be one of those older Aspies who got some skills as they aged. If you go to heartless aspergers, you will read all about me. Of course her sweeping generalizations are false by form, just substitute some or most when she says things like always, never, all, no etc. Perhaps one of mine will publish the definitive work describing the miseries of being the son or daughter of an Aspie.

The fact is, I have been the cause of untold misery in the lives of those unwise or unfortunate enough to have become closely associated with me. My diagnosis offers no comfort. It does not seem to be given to me to thrive.

Any for whom this sounds familiar, please let me know. Is it discourteous to ask a question within the reply to another question?

Be well