Freaking out after 30..

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Don't mean to derail, but you seem to have a lot of interesting life stories. It would be interesting to read a thread on them.

As to the OP, I never cared much about aging, or turning 30--I'm 35 and consider myself middle-aged, which I'm fine with (I hate our culture of having to feel every age is young)--but, I do relate to feeling afraid as I see certain struggles get in the way of achievement. It's hard living in a society not designed for you, and one which happens to be designed to burn you out. It was much easier to accomplish things in college than it is with an exhausting full time job. For me, the hard thing is having to cope with so many difficulties in every day life; the upside is that I can focus on defining my life much more for myself. I try to turn setbacks and weakness into strengths.

Thanks. I trashed my life about every seven years. You can probably piece it together from my posting history. There's a mini-bio at https://www.compositesworld.com/columns ... le-history

Thanks for posting your mini-biography. Handsome man!

Anyway, I also trashed my life, as you say, about every 7-10 years. I think of these times as "former lives."

For the OP, when I was in my 30s I was so confused about the world and went from one thing to another, struggling to get by, struggling with social situations. Even gave up on working for a while. Took me another 7-10 years ( ) to get out of that rut and clawed my way into a new situation, which gave rise to another new situation and so on. Your life is not over at 30, or 40, or 50 and on up. The last 10 years of my life have been the best and I have no intention of trashing this one!! !

Dear One and Blazingstar are Renaissance people. They both know how to fix things well.

Dear One is more the tinkerer and the mechanical man; Blazingstar has a wide range of knowledge in general.

Makes me lament that I didn't take risks, and learned from my mistakes, like they did.

They are both in a prime condition to give life advice.

In the 1950s, there was a TV show called "Life Begins at 80."

My 57 year old self is much preferable to my 30 year old self.

Life is not over at 30. Life has only just begun at 30....this is especially true for people on the Spectrum.

I cannot agree with this more.

I've apparently "trashed my life" on at least two occasions for sure. It's been nearly nine years since I last did it. It's as if I was at the end of my rope and I hit the road only telling a few people I was leaving. I had decided a year before then I was going to move, but before then the urge seemed sudden as in the time before. I am more assertive now, and a reason I hit the road the time before is that I didn't feel welcome there and that I was afraid to be assertive. I somehow have gotten this last run right so far. I don't guarantee that I will be able to continue this run, but I've learned a lot more about sticking things out. Why?

1. I realized that I was a better country person, than a small city person.
2. I never bought a house until I found one I knew I could afford on disability. No shame in owning a 650 sq ft house if you're single.

None of these reasons may apply to you whatsoever. In my case, I'm single, no kids, I could still hit the road if I had to. I dared to look within on where I could improve myself. The depression was too intense for me to stay where I was before, so much so that a change was necessary (and as an aspie I don't care for change much). I had to work the best I can within my limits rather than try to exceed them (which has burned me to do so. I've also learned that as your first three months in a new location goes, so it goes for the long term. And it's likely due to how the third month goes.

I hope I don't have to move again. I've moved a lot and moving is harder as I've gotten older.

I wish you all encouragement on this matter.

I am also a country mouse. Our house is 650 sq ft and we are two people. I love a small house. Good for you in figuring out what was right for you. Took me decades!

Definitely relate to being a country person. The less people, the better. Cities can be fun to visit, but you need to have that escape route. I live in a fairly small down, but with close access to small cities. I'm also not incredibly far from a few major cities.

Love apartments for the right amount of space, but not a lot of upkeep (i.e. no lawn mowing, snow removal)

I can absolutely state (in my case at least) that life didn't even begin until I was 31... then I moved up another gear in my mid-40s and again in mid-50s.

I used to be a townie, but big cities freak me out now. I now live in the hills.