Workplace bullying

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25 Feb 2020, 12:13 pm

^^^What they were doing to you was pretty bad aspieprincess but the way your partner handled it was awesome :mrgreen: I really wish I thought fast & clear enough to handle situations that well. I'm also really glad he's going back home to you.

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shortfatbalduglyman
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25 Feb 2020, 1:18 pm

Short of a strike, boycott, or winning a civil lawsuit there is nothing you can do about the alleged bullying

aspieprincess123
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26 Feb 2020, 5:05 am

nick007 wrote:

^^^What they were doing to you was pretty bad aspieprincess but the way your partner handled it was awesome :mrgreen:

I really wish I thought fast & clear enough to handle situations that well. I'm also really glad he's going back home to you.

True he saw how the bullying was getting to me but I was too scared to fight back I was even afraid to go to work but needed to so I could have a wage

My partner also is a committed person when he's made a plan he sticks to it. Plus once he knew I had the new job and wouldn't face any backlash he went public with the affair wrecked at least one marriage and damaged the reputation of the site.

I did last year see one of the bullies in the local town she tries to be all nice and I just laughed at her when she mentioned that after her affair was made public her husband threw her out and even her own son who was a young teen at the time now hates her.

I think Karma is great. I'm so glad he's now home hard though cause he said at the minute he wants to sleep alone as he's not used to sharing a bed

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26 Feb 2020, 6:06 am

aspieprincess123 wrote:

nick007 wrote:

^^^What they were doing to you was pretty bad aspieprincess but the way your partner handled it was awesome :mrgreen:

I really wish I thought fast & clear enough to handle situations that well. I'm also really glad he's going back home to you.

Your guy is a hero aspieprincess, I wish him a speedy recovery and both of you success in every possible aspect.
I always fight bullies, can't stand them.

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Joe90
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26 Feb 2020, 8:19 am

Quote:

Well it started with little things like hiding my stuff taking money out my purse I couldn't price anything. Then when they started to get confident and would do things like tell the boss I was late for work when I wasn't and key m car.

I can't imagine grown people doing such childish bullying. It's embarrassing on their part. They need growing up. (And then we are supposed to be the immature ones??)

I've been subtly bullied, in other words ''picked on'' at one of my volunteer jobs when I was about 20. There were a few cliquey women there, all in their 50s and 60s, that often ganged up on me, talked about me behind my back, criticised me, and deliberately left me out of any gossip then if I asked about anything they'd call me nosy and reject me. But it wasn't just me these same people bullied; they bullied an NT man who actually was the manager there. He left to work somewhere else, and I don't blame him. I left too, rather unplanned but I just couldn't hack the bitchiness any more. I got told off by my job-seekers adviser for walking out instead of giving notice (unemployed people doing unpaid work should give in their notice if they leave, to get a good reference). I wish I'd told him that there was bullying going on which drove me out, but I didn't tell anyone.

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aspieprincess123
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26 Feb 2020, 11:22 am

It was horrible I even went part time over it as the boss was all friendly with the two so nothing ever got done and it started to get worse as they scratched my car to pieces costing money to repair.

The constant theft of my stuff though it was only minor amounts though they did smash my glasses which cost money to replace.

My partner had enough after the glasses in which he decides enough and he knew as they brushed my complaints aside he needed proof so using the lack of info from the two bullies as they never seen him and I never had pictures of him in case they used it against me as one of them even said if she knew who he was she would sleep with him just to hurt me.

It was horrible way Hong the footage of them called me Dumbo and stupid b***h and miss autistic and then as I had to grab a pack for my partner who was pretending to be a parent they then went in my purse took money and also poured my coffee on the keyboard and floor before they made more comments and bragged how they broken my glasses and scratched my car up.

Course when my partner showed the proof they tried to threaten him into deleting the footage as they tried to say recording in the reception was against child protection and could do him for child sex offences.
He wasn't scared as he knew the law and said if nothing is been seen to have been done he will ensure this bullying incident and as the stupid bullies mentioned the affair she had and was a homewrecker and about the level of bullying would be as public as possible and would make this meeting public as he had the audio recording.

He said if I don't get justice I will ensure people's careers are ruined but I guess after they were sacked and the boss was forced out once I moved jobs he decided to set the final fire.

He's known for going to extreme with bullies

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26 Feb 2020, 9:26 pm

aspieprincess123 wrote:

He's known for going to extreme with bullies

It scares me, but I am also envious.

Mine is not so much blatant bullying as it is microaggressions and discrimination. Death by 1,000 paper cuts.

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02 Mar 2020, 3:36 pm

I (well practically all in the department) have problems with a bully. He's probably mentally ill, but that doesn't help me...
He usually does really childish stuff, like when I enter the lunch room he'll take my coffe mug and put it as far away from the coffee machine as possible.
But for a while my front registration plate was ripped off my car, I think it happened 3 or 4 times.
He has also been stealing tools, not private tools so actually stealing from the company and he has recently stopped alltogether doing his job if I am the one needing his help.
He's a smith and metal worker and my job sometimes requires some specially made tools.
His teamleader has tried to have the company buy him out by giving him say two months pay if he leaves volontarily, but he'll retire in 6 months and the HR says they cannot make such a deal when he's got so short time until retirement.
He's been like this for 4.5 years now and I must say I'm getting pretty tired of it.

/Mats

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Where_am_I
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03 Mar 2020, 7:08 am

aspieprincess123 wrote:

I was bullied in my last job though I got a new job which is a lot better.

My last job I was a receptionist which was several years ago and at the time I was only a contractor so when the union staff went in strike I was expected to work which I did.

No one said anything at the time and 3 months later I was given a full time job.

Well it started with little things like hiding my stuff taking money out my purse I couldn't price anything. Then when they started to get confident and would do things like tell the boss I was late for work when I wasn't and key m car.

I had a full breakdown and I went to HR at the time and the union backed the 2 women up and when I complained to the union they said behind closed doors I had it coming for not striking even though I explained I was a contract staff.

My partner had enough of it and thankfully didn't know what he looked like and then went into the office as I worked for child services he pretended to be a parent looking for services and he had on him hidden cameras and he recorded them when I left the seat pouring my coffee on the keyboard and taking money from my purse and finally bragging about how the boss is letting them get away with there bullying before resorting to calling me horrible names.

With the video evidence he went to my workplace demanded to speak to HR and when he presented a copy of the footage to HR and the union they threatened to have him arrested for recording in the reception.

His reply still makes me laugh as he also recorded the meeting with them and he just said if nothing is seem to done and quickly he will ensure the local news, every social media platform and he will hunalite the b*****s who are doing the bullying as he also recorded them during the session about how one of them was shagging her colleague.

He also said he can't be arrested as reception could be considered public domain and he uses a camera tro track where he was at if he has a seizure.

He mentioned that as the union was protecting two people who were known bullies if it went public it would destroy all trust in the union which might mean less union fees.

They quickly sacked the two b*****s and the boss took early retirement and I moved job not long after so my partner was nice enough to leave a copy of the video where she bragged about her affair on her husband's Facebook wall. Wrecking a marriage.

My current job is great though I did a few months ago get pulled up for wearing a thong at work so now wear my granny pants lol

I think several people learned that my partner only deals in black and white that day.

Your partner is bloody amazing!

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03 Mar 2020, 7:20 am

Autumn78 wrote:

It is sad to hear how frequently this happens.

I had a mediation at the start of my second year at the position. No change. I informed administration. Admin put forward a harassment complaint. HR found no proof. This was expected as I was always insulted/ "spoken to" behind closed doors.

We then tried to have meetings to improve communication because I was now the instigator of miscommunication and the four other people on the team do not trust me. The support staff complain to the admin, in front of me, different ways I am incompetent at my job.

I am looking into a transfer.
I work with many other staff in the school who live the work I do (inclusion of special ed students in mainstream classes). It is only the special ed team who feels I do wrong. Sadly, that is all the administrators are focusing on.

My mental health has deteriorated.
I cannot stop perseverating.

Because I'm a yes-person/ people pleaser I have been bullied before. Never this bad.

My admin knows I'm on the spectrum. I've had countless anxiety attacks during meetings where I'm seen as incompetent because I cannot express myself well under such stress. I stutter, shake, have poor conversation skills and interrupt. Yet it only happens when I'm being scolded. In all other classes, with all other teachers, I am in better control of my emotions and conversation skills.

I feel asking for a transfer is my only hope. This has been offered to me before. I've said no out of a love for my students. Also, I would be seen as "the problem". I may have to swallow a reputation blow to feel some sort of sanity.

Sorry this is happening to you. Sounds all too familiar. Making a complaint to HR automatically puts you in a negative light in my experience. Do what's beneficial to your well-being, don't put anyone else first.

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aspieprincess123
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03 Mar 2020, 1:29 pm

Where_am_I wrote:

aspieprincess123 wrote:

Your partner is bloody amazing!

I agree he is amazing I do not deserve him.

I'm just glad he's home wish he wouldn't do work but he keeps asking his work to send him stuff to work on from home.

Course im still worried I keep his tablets under tight control as his Liver from his suicide attempt has suffered damage.

sport
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10 Mar 2020, 11:32 am

I was somewhat bullied by my boss when I worked a lot on back stabbing.

Fnord
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10 Mar 2020, 11:56 am

shortfatbalduglyman wrote:

... sometimes the boss or the Human resources is the bully.

Human Resources is not there to make workers' lives better. The primary function of HR at many places is to keep personnel problems away from upper management. To this end, they will often act first, submit a report afterward, and little or no sympathy for the employee who gets kicked to the curb.

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sport
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10 Mar 2020, 12:10 pm

Amen.

aspieprincess123
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10 Mar 2020, 2:55 pm

Fnord wrote:

shortfatbalduglyman wrote:

... sometimes the boss or the Human resources is the bully.

The HR in my last place was a union rep who used her position in both to protect the two b*****s that were bullying me. It took evidence of the bullying and her been recorded implicating her covering for them that action was taken. When I left I heard that she was encouraged to take early retirement as it would look bad that the department allowed and facilitated the bullying of someone with autism it would look bad.

Course it made the woman's affair public who was bullying me once I left the job wrecking a marriage

maycontainthunder
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10 Mar 2020, 3:53 pm

I have been here.

It drove me to a full blown breakdown and multiple complete shut downs. I am no longer able to work nor do i feel safe anywhere I go. I don't leave the house most days.

My advice to anyone in this situation is DON'T let the bullying continue. These utter scum will NEVER get better as, in their tiny slow witted minds, they are doing nothing wrong.

If it is your boss find another job.

If it is a coworker go over their heads and make an official complaint.

Remember, there are companies out there that need people with your skills.

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