Is laziness a reason for not moving out ?

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I think a bit or a lot of this can be very dependent on the gender of the person living with parents as well as the area they live. It probably tends to be easier for woman living with their parents to find a guy than for guys living with their parents to find a woman, especially in areas with less gender equality. In more traditional areas like the bible-belt in the US, women are raised with the expectation that their career will be raising kids & taking care of their man, aka domestic responsibilities. Women can have jobs on top of that but that stuff is supposed to be their number one priority. Whereas the men are supposed to be going to work & earning a majority of the money for the household. If a man is not independent it can be a huge strike against him. Whereas a woman being dependent is no big deal if she is a good cook & is physically attractive & puts out. Men & women are both immature just in different ways regardless of if they are living with parents or not. Lots of married women complain about how their husbands are lost without their wife around to take care of them(I'm lost without my girlfriend around cuz I love spending time with her). & the husbands complain about their wives spending the husbands hard-earned money & his wife nagging & threatening to withhold sex in order for her to get her way.

Where I'm originally from the politicians & media go on & on about how disableds are lazy & don't deserve to have anything handed to them. Technically most disableds living with their parents would have a much better standard of living than being homeless on the street. I know you do not mean it that way BeaArthur(your a respectable person to me) but unfortunately lots of people where I'm originally from probably would see it that way. I guess I'm wondering where you would draw the line between someone like a disabled living with their parents out of necessity & them living with parents to have a better standard of living?

First, I'd say there is a difference between DIS-abled and DIFFERENTLY-abled. If the offspring would be totally incapable of living on their own (aside from financial considerations), then that's one thing. But if they simply haven't taken the step of trying to live independently (aside from financial considerations), but have the ability to do things like manage their money, sign a lease, call the cable company, manage their own medications if any or get to work regularly (if employed), then I get the feeling that this is a mooching situation. I mean if they are of the mooching classes (independently wealthy), fine, but for most of us, we need to be able to stand on our own two feet.

Now you mentioned the situation where the alternative was homelessness. I'm not advocating anyone become homeless. People need to take full advantage of disability supports in their locale. In many cases, these can range from rental assistance or "affordable housing" availability, medical care, food stamps, home visit aides, day treatment programs, vocational rehab, and so on. A lot of times families don't even bother to look into these things, perhaps because the parents would be too embarrassed to admit their kid has a "problem" or the family don't believe in "charity" etc. In some cases, the adult child is receiving disability income and the parent(s) keep the money, forcing the adult child to remain trapped there. (This is financial abuse!)

The thing is, if you live with parents because they have a pool, a stable of sports cars any of which you can borrow any time you want, huge entertainment options including virtually every streaming service, a home theater, etc., the longer you postpone growing up, the harder it will be to ever be self-sustaining. And if you are capable of earning a living but don't, sheerly out of inertia, just wait till you see how hard it is in retirement if it turns out you don't inherit the house.

I seem to think that some people are comparing this problem to some people who complain about their unemployment and say ''There are just no jobs out there.'' when clearly there are. But is it easy to say to someone ''There are places out there to move out to and just go and find one.'' A part of me is telling me ''Well, if you want to be like other people and don't feel happy still staying at home then move.'' and another is telling me ''Look, you are happy right now living at home and stop feeling ashamed about it.'' The feeling of the need to compare and fit in with other people still sometimes plays on my mind. Despite these things going on in my head, I continue to live at home and not want to move so I must therefore be lazy then.

If you give money for the upkeep of the household, I don't find that you're "sponging" off your parents.

It's harder to move into your own place than it used to be.

I'm fortunate I moved out when I did----back in 1981

While laziness can be a reason, it isn't always the case. There are many reasons for living at home as an adult. To leave home at a certain age is quite Western and relatively modern.

I relish the idea of how non-Western cultures practice multigenerational households. In my case, I've become close with my family, especially my late mother.

Sadly, my dad and I will have to move out by April 1st, though I'll leave on March 23rd. We can't afford to pay the mortgage on the house anymore. I found an excellent studio apartment to call my new home in Portland's Goose Hollow. I will have to work two jobs to pay rent and other bills, but I think I will enjoy the independence.

I don't regret living with my parents for all of these years. I am even thankful that they helped me develop into a much better person. Proper maturity and self-confidence take time to grow, and I'm grateful they had my back during that time (especially my late mom).

If you get along with your parents and help out with chores, that's just fine.

I haven't been really living with both of my parents since I was 17 or so. And they were so busy with work before that they hardly paid attention to me after I was 14 or so. I think that was very good for my development. I had busy and fun teenage years and gained lots of life experience. I know my circumstances were not usual for a Chinese woman. A lot of girls were bound to their families until they marry, or stay and serve their parents all their lives. When you meet one of these girls they are usually nice and quiet and tired. There's not much life or spark left.

I do think moving out and giving your parents some freedom is a good thing, if you can afford to. Remember that they might also get used to having you around and using your as a crutch to help them. Then it will be harder for you to leave because you'll have to call them everyday to help them pay bills and read their email and stuff.

Most cultures around the world don't have the expectation that young adults must move out of home. Even the places that do have that norm have generally only developed it very recently - a hundred years ago it wasn't a thing.

If you're happy living with your parents and your parents are happy living with you, what's the reason to move?

Plus, a lot of people who move out for independence end up moving back in with their parents when they start getting elderly and needing more assistance themselves.

The trend is the opposite here in the US. When my parents were young adults, it was aLOT easier to find a job where someone could make enough to afford to move out after they graduated high-school. Whereas these days it's a lot harder for young adults to afford to move out. A lot more jobs want college degrees or a lot of experience. Inflation has increased much more rapidly than the federal minimum-wage has. The cost of housing has also increased aLOT since my parents were young adults. It can be very difficult for some to find a minimum-wage job these days when they have no work experience & no college degrees or special licenses. When I was looking for work the organizations that were supposed to help me find a job told me that I needed to assert myself & call potential employers & ask them to check on my apps. When I called I got told how they receive hundreds of apps & don't have time to go through them all. They were minimum-wage type jobs like retail. When I was working in retail, a bit of my work colleagues had college degrees & their starting salaries were around minimum-wage. Some of em had 2nd jobs or worked lots of overtime when we were allowed cuz they were struggling to get by(I worked a lot of OT when I could). It's become common for young adults here to move back in with their parents after they graduate college if they had moved out to attend a college that wasn't very close. Th pandemic probably has made it even harder for younger adults to move out.

Unfortunately there can be a major generational gap in understanding where the parents can not really grasp why their kids can not find gainful employment & take on a housing mortgage or rent an apartment rite after they graduate college or high-school. Some parents are very resentful about how they are still forced to be parents to their adult kids cuz the parents had moved out 1ce they graduated high-school. This gap in understanding can cause lots of friction between the parents & young adults & can negatively affect the young adult's mental health like causing depression which can make it even harder for them to be gainfully employed & independent.

Things tend to be a lot worse for disabled people in general including us on the spectrum who are not the poor man Bill Gates. It can be a lot harder to become independent & others including our parents & other immediate family may not be very understanding or accepting

True, but most likely when your grandparents were young adults, no one would've thought it was unusual or undesirable if they didn't move out of home.

A lot of us have had our sense of normal very heavily shaped by the 50s, even though the 50s norms were a single-generation aberration.

When my grandparents were young, there was a much bigger difference in gender roles than today. Women were more expected to be housewives so it was more acceptable for them to live with their parents till they got married. Whereas the men were expected to be independent in order to get married. The men focused on their careers before & after getting married. Whereas the women focused on helping their mom's around the house till they got married & then the women focused on taking care of their husbands & kids. It's become quite common nowadays for both the men & women to need full-time jobs earning money in order to get by. It's not that uncommon for young married couples to live with a parent. Whereas when my grandparents were young married couples, they were not living with their parents party cuz they could afford not to.