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Minuteman
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31 Aug 2021, 8:14 pm

As somebody else mentioned, most people 35+ were diagnosed not in school, but later in life (I was 52). In the '70s, '80s and '90s, if you got good grades in school but were socially awkward, seldom spoke up in class and ate lunch by yourself, teachers would just assume you'll grow out of your shyness when you're ready. Only in the '00s did teachers understand that the problem may be much more than just shyness.

As a result there are probably millions of people 35+ with Aspergers/HFA that have never been diagnosed.



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01 Sep 2021, 5:05 am

Minuteman wrote:
As somebody else mentioned, most people 35+ were diagnosed not in school, but later in life (I was 52). In the '70s, '80s and '90s, if you got good grades in school but were socially awkward, seldom spoke up in class and ate lunch by yourself, teachers would just assume you'll grow out of your shyness when you're ready. Only in the '00s did teachers understand that the problem may be much more than just shyness.

As a result there are probably millions of people 35+ with Aspergers/HFA that have never been diagnosed.


I agree with you, but I DO think schools are still missing a lot of cases. My nephew (whom my other family members call my "mini-me") wasn't diagnosed until he had a mental health crisis and was hospitalized at age 15. He is transgender, so I'm sure that plays some part in the diagnosis delay (his 2 cisgender brothers are also autistic but present differently, in the more stereotypical way).

But these are all true for me (I was in high school in the 90s):
got good grades --- yes
socially awkward --- to an extreme. i didn't keep many friends around because i wasn't interested in typical things.
seldom spoke up -- struggled with situational mutism and would go days without speaking a word (to even family)
ate lunch by yourself -- the lunchroom was pure hell, so I would sneak off to the library and read books instead

I was a missed case until age 35.


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01 Sep 2021, 7:19 am

HeroOfHyrule wrote:
I see more people 35+ here than people younger than that. :? Its actually been an issue for me the entire time I've been on here because I can't relate with most people here, as they're usually older and/or more high functioning than I am.


I am 64. It's hard to judge how high functioning I am, due to having both an ASD & schizophrenia dx. You may or may not be more high functioning than me.



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01 Sep 2021, 8:11 am

"High functioning" is really a blunt label.
I'm high functioning in the sense that I live alone, have a job, and can function relatively "normal".
I'm low functioning when it comes to cleaning, mowing the lawn etc. And relationships.
And I'm a perfectionist, which connnects to the above. I don't get things done because I've not figured out the perfect way yet.
Anyways, I dislike the HFA label.

/Mats


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01 Sep 2021, 8:17 am

My subjective impression was that most people who stick around here for any length of time are over 30. Unusual amount of people in their 50s and 60s for a web community.


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01 Sep 2021, 8:42 am

mohsart wrote:
"High functioning" is really a blunt label.
I'm high functioning in the sense that I live alone, have a job, and can function relatively "normal".
I'm low functioning when it comes to cleaning, mowing the lawn etc. And relationships.
And I'm a perfectionist, which connnects to the above. I don't get things done because I've not figured out the perfect way yet.
Anyways, I dislike the HFA label.

/Mats

You aren't alone in this. Functioning labels make me uncomfortable too. "High functioning" is a deceiving term as it often means one is better at masking what is really going on. It doesn't mean that said person isn't struggling...or that they won't be paying for it sorely later (with meltdowns, shutdowns, etc).


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01 Sep 2021, 8:50 am

Minuteman wrote:
As somebody else mentioned, most people 35+ were diagnosed not in school, but later in life (I was 52). In the '70s, '80s and '90s, if you got good grades in school but were socially awkward, seldom spoke up in class and ate lunch by yourself, teachers would just assume you'll grow out of your shyness when you're ready. Only in the '00s did teachers understand that the problem may be much more than just shyness.

As a result there are probably millions of people 35+ with Aspergers/HFA that have never been diagnosed.

I did not get good grades.

In got mostly C’s in high school in the 70s but was socially awkward, seldom spoke up in class, and sat by myself in the lunchroom. The school did not intervene. I do not believe it was about thinking I would grow out of it but what is called in today’s parlance “low maintenance” but then was called “not a troublemaker”. “Painfully shy” as they called me was a personality type not a mental condition.

In first and second grade I was flunking most everything and they did intervene throwing me out. That was legal in the 60s, there was no special education to speak of. Rich people did hide away their “problem children” in academies. They recommended to my mom homeschool him or send him to a private school. My mom(mothers made all the child rearing decisions then) found a private school. The small class size helped and I was back in public school for fifth grade. I do believe I was not institutionalized, the consensus way to deal with children with mental issues back then because my parents were teachers.

I agree there are a lot of undiagnosed and misdiagnosed autistic adults out there. This is why all the talk about Autism being a fake disease, over diagnosed, a fad infuriates me.


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01 Sep 2021, 8:55 am

I am definitely over 30 and I found there are a lot of people posting here are in similar situations to me, very late diagnosis or discovery. We had to figure out how to cope in the world without any guidance.

I think the OP needs more patience. I tried starting some threads early on, and there was little response. It makes more sense to me to carefully read posts and find what you need and grow in that manner.


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01 Sep 2021, 9:09 am

Flown wrote:
mohsart wrote:
"High functioning" is really a blunt label.
I'm high functioning in the sense that I live alone, have a job, and can function relatively "normal".
I'm low functioning when it comes to cleaning, mowing the lawn etc. And relationships.
And I'm a perfectionist, which connnects to the above. I don't get things done because I've not figured out the perfect way yet.
Anyways, I dislike the HFA label.

/Mats

You aren't alone in this. Functioning labels make me uncomfortable too. "High functioning" is a deceiving term as it often means one is better at masking what is really going on. It doesn't mean that said person isn't struggling...or that they won't be paying for it sorely later (with meltdowns, shutdowns, etc).

I dislike functioning labels too but I didn't really know how else to describe people that have been happily married for decades, had no issues getting a job and are paid highly, had no issues in school and college learning wise, and essentially hit most of their "milestones" in adult functioning on time. I can't relate with that at all and don't have the skills to even start half of that.



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01 Sep 2021, 9:38 am

ASPartOfMe wrote:
In got mostly C’s in high school in the 70s but was socially awkward, seldom spoke up in class, and sat by myself in the lunchroom. The school did not intervene.

Knowing the story of my uncle where the school did intervene, I suspect that might have been better for you... It seems, back then school psychologists were trying to fix, not help the student.


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01 Sep 2021, 9:42 am

HeroOfHyrule wrote:
..


The acquisition of specific milestones doesn't really give us much information on any of these people though. By applying functioning labels we are not only invalidating the struggles of autistics that fall into this category (partially or fully), but we may be depriving them of some much needed support/assistance/resources. This is a spectrum, and our abilities and disabilities can vary quite a LOT! What we see on the surface (accolades) is not always a sign of what is beneath.

The truth is that we don't know what each of the aforementioned people went through to get where they are now. What kind of struggles have occurred/are occurring in their relationships/marriages? How long did it take them to complete college, and what was their experience? How do autistic mothers cope with pregnancy, postpartum issues, and parenting? These are all important issues that deserve some attention; from what I have witnessed, when we apply those labels, we are dismissing them.


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HeroOfHyrule
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01 Sep 2021, 9:44 am

Flown wrote:
HeroOfHyrule wrote:
..


The acquisition of specific milestones doesn't really give us much information on any of these people though. By applying functioning labels we are not only invalidating the struggles of autistics that fall into this category (partially or fully), but we may be depriving them of some much needed support/assistance/resources. This is a spectrum, and our abilities and disabilities can vary quite a LOT! What we see on the surface (accolades) is not always a sign of what is beneath.

The truth is that we don't know what each of the aforementioned people went through to get where they are now. What kind of struggles have occurred/are occurring in their relationships/marriages? How long did it take them to complete college, and what was their experience? How do autistic mothers cope with pregnancy, postpartum issues, and parenting? These are all important issues that deserve some attention; from what I have witnessed, when we apply those labels, we are dismissing them.

I only started using functioning labels because the people on this site do. I don't really appreciate being lectured about semantics and having my point thrown out the window.



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01 Sep 2021, 9:48 am

Anyways, to get back to the actual topic I still don't think people 35+ are "underrepresented", and I think those people are able to freely discuss most anything they want to on here as long as their post is actually discussion-prompting. I don't notice a lot of people my age actually stick around and this probably contributes. There's barely anyone in my actual "peer group" to talk to.



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01 Sep 2021, 9:52 am

HeroOfHyrule wrote:
Flown wrote:
HeroOfHyrule wrote:
..


The acquisition of specific milestones doesn't really give us much information on any of these people though. By applying functioning labels we are not only invalidating the struggles of autistics that fall into this category (partially or fully), but we may be depriving them of some much needed support/assistance/resources. This is a spectrum, and our abilities and disabilities can vary quite a LOT! What we see on the surface (accolades) is not always a sign of what is beneath.

The truth is that we don't know what each of the aforementioned people went through to get where they are now. What kind of struggles have occurred/are occurring in their relationships/marriages? How long did it take them to complete college, and what was their experience? How do autistic mothers cope with pregnancy, postpartum issues, and parenting? These are all important issues that deserve some attention; from what I have witnessed, when we apply those labels, we are dismissing them.

I only started using functioning labels because the people on this site do. I don't really appreciate being lectured about semantics and having my point thrown out the window.

My intention was not to lecture you, truly. I was just stating my concerns about their usage. I wasn't aware that their usage wasn't up for open for discussion here.


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magz
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01 Sep 2021, 10:08 am

I like it on WP that people from their teens to their seventies (I think) are present and active.
I don't feel underrepresented in my age group or my stage of life group - and I got a lot of support from older users who have my current stage of life behind them. Thank you :)
With so much diversity, there obviously will be a lot of people with completely different life experience than mine - and than anyone else's. We're all outliers.


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01 Sep 2021, 10:10 am

magz wrote:
I like it on WP that people from their teens to their seventies (I think) are present and active.
I don't feel underrepresented in my age group or my stage of life group - and I got a lot of support from older users who have my current stage of life behind them. Thank you :)
With so much diversity, there obviously will be a lot of people with completely different life experience than mine - and than anyone else's. We're all outliers.


I really like that about WP too! :heart:


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