Living alone and loneliness

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I’m sorry you folks have to go through CFS/ME.

I know that Kites is a creative and smart guy……and I suspect the other people I don’t know well are creative and smart, too.

My mother is a smart and spiritual person (I’m not a spiritual person). She can now only walk with a walker, and needs a nurse-type person for half the day. This is very disconcerting to her.

Thank you. I'm so sorry to hear your mother struggles like that. It's awful. I'm a very spiritually minded person and it can bring comfort but can make it harder sometimes. I hope she will see some improvement.

Aww, that's sweet, thank you! A valued uplift today.



That is understandable. Do say hello to her for us!

Now a bit about my Mom,

After meeting her and my Dad about a decade ago my Psychologist was convinced she's an Aspie.
She's another one who is bright and also spiritual. Was a nutritionist then a dietitian then got her masters in food service management. Turned out to have natural-born airplane pilot skill. Auburn-haired (all grey now) Ozark Mountains farm girl who talks straight and shoots straight both literally and figuratively.
A true "Let's get going and get this done!" kind of person.
And I remember her mentoring the young Navy wives on Dad's ships.

Then in early/mid 1980s Dad's health crashed with Fibro and ME/CFS and half a dozen other things and ended his US Navy career.
Mom put her skills in to managing him and his health.
While doing that they also did some raising of my brother's 3 boys for several years in 1990s after his wife went bad, he got custody, and the Army was sending my brother here there and everywhere.

Then ...

March 2019 she had a stroke and along the way a couple brain aneurysms which needed surgery Right Now were discovered.
She and Dad now have in-home carers come most days.
It's a good bet she relates to your mom's difficulty.

Is also a good bet they both qualify as at least a minor superhero.

Indeed, they certainly do

i always find these threads too GD late. anyways, to keep from going crazy i had to become quasi-dissociative and split my personality into parts. i keep myself company and comfort myself. i am an outlier aspie that likes being around congenial people but such are just so rare in this world.

I guess I've always been alone so I don't really know any different. I'd have to experience the other side to know what it's like to form a valid conclusion.

Am I lonely? Sure. Do I get by? Sure. I'm quite independent and a loner by nature, so I guess I'm sorta lucky there considering my life and disorders that affect my ability to socialize.

^^i hope you get to experience happiness.

Thanks, dude, and you too. I figure happiness has to come from ourselves though (in the context of this thread). I suppose it can come from others if it's healthy. It was unhealthy with my parents, so maybe that one might make me biased. Father being the problem there (just a psychopathic, abusive, drug addict and dealer). Seeing that sort of stuff will likely influence a man or woman, and it might make someone more hesitant than normal, especially when you're naturally a loner.

Some neighbor will probably try to hook me up with someone eventually.

i do hope some caring neighbor can do that for you. you are younger than me by a few decades and it can make the difference for you, so that you end up in a better place than me.

Loneliness is an alien concept to me as it is not an emotion I have ever felt. I live alone and love it. I am not just a loner but I am actually an asocial misanthrope and just not into people. Not a people person and never have been.

i would rather be too lonely, than have to interact with someone.

besides, you could interact with someone online.

since january 2020, i have lived alone.

i love living alone. nobody competing for the litterbox. nobody ordering you around. nobody saying "huh" and "what" like they are the etiquette equivalent of "excuse me".

quiet enough to sleep whenever.

two years ago, i had just done a yoga pose (reclining cobblers pose) and tried to stand up. legs buckled. landed awkwardly, and toe sore for a couple of days.

kind of paranoid that i will get injured and nobody will be there to attend to my worthless corpse b/c i live alone.

but if i scream loudly enough, i'm sure the busybody neighbors will hear.

(last year, one day, i got home from the slave plantation, and a lot of flies were in the kitchen. then the cops knocked on the door and told me the next door neighbor ordered a Welfare Check b/c they thought the flies came from my worthless corpse. however, i was still alive at that time.)

When i feel alone and depressed i often watch TV shows and read stories that i have been saving up. That or start a New video game. I suck at video games but get immersed nonetheless so i often find time passes by quickly.

Thanks for all the messages. I don't feel lonely all the time and I'd hate having someone living in my space. I guess it's a temporary feeling that comes from not knowing how to fill my time. I'm very fussy about what I watch. I do love to read though and have been doing that more. I'm studying as well.

^Learning new stuff is fun too and helps pass the time. I used to study Japanese on Duolingo for hours

That's a really good idea. I've always wanted to learn Italian so that's something I may explore further.

I'm not really sure if I feel lonely day to day actually. I mostly just miss those very rare people. Even when in hospitals or similar places for extended periods of time alone, I never really felt lonely. I miss those that have left their mark on me in good ways with the corresponding connection which doesn't really ever become fully severed, as I'm one of those never to forget types. Missing to me is one of those feelings that hurts more than many (I'm assuming loneliness does for most), for both selfish and selfless reasons. I've walked alone for so long that I don't think I can feel loneliness in a normal way, but more times than not there's been a nice person around so...I guess I learnt to miss (mostly just my mother, but a connection is a connection).