Meaning of maturity

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Here is one of those Reddit threads I mentioned:

thread

If anyone cares to read it. I swear it's not just me. Something is seriously off with the world now. It's like all of our creaking social structures are starting to show their instabilities at once, and now they're threatening to collapse. A confluence of many factors and manifestations with underlying common causes.

To name a few: Neoliberalism and "meritocracy" that created vast inequalities in wealth and social status across different subcultures, careers, and lifestyles. The same giving corporations almost limitless power to extract work and cash from regular people. These leading to and extreme concentration of wealth at the top. The suffering and neglect of lower and middle classes during the covid lockdowns, while others worked from home in relatively serenity. The callousness and achievement obsession of many people in Generation X (sorry Gen X, it's a trend I've observed). Raising Generation Z to value confidence and self esteem above flexibility and empathy, coupled with social media and internet culture, and now they're coming of age and having influence. Extreme political polarization fueled by and intertwined with some of the factors mentioned before. Charismatic and sociopathic leaders stepping in to seize the opportunity using their cleverness to take advantage of the instability and manipulate the masses. The shocking lack of meaning due to the sudden full arrival of a new technological modernity and a resulting blending of cultures, leading to questioning prior structures of belief and rapid cultural changes. Media and celebrity culture that regards virtue and morality as quaint and old fashioned. Pseudo-intellectualism that creates "red scares" leading to the demonization of various groups. Etc, etc.

The result is the current disjointed, dystopian world that seems to be just lurching through the motions, filled with people who are secretly frightened and confused inside and cover it over with anger and bravado. And a society that does not promote cooperation and self restraint, so individualism is taken to radical extremes, and people's various ways of trying to cope.

Of that's how it strikes me at the moment anyways.

Maybe I'm going into some kind of psychosis from all the stress, but I don't think so. I don't think I'm even exaggerating things much in my descriptions. Sometimes life is truly stranger / more tragic / more challenging than fiction, I think. Just imagine what it felt like to be in the middle of Europe at the start of World War I. Or more recently, in Ukraine when Russia invaded. I think sometimes the coincidence of many moderately bad things can produce a result just as powerful as one sudden, terrible shock. Maybe that's what we're experiencing now, or about to experience.

Sorry, those last bits were awfully negative in some parts. I believe that we as a society can get through these tough times, though it will surely take some work. And there are certainly many very good things going on as well; it's definitely not all bad. My personal life is very much looking up, and there's work I'm ready to do. Most of the tough things I mentioned are in the past now. I think I've just finally gotten the chance to take a breath, and I was realizing all that has gone on recently. But I have much hope for the world and for myself. Personally, I will do my best to set an example of the ways of being that I think are good, and to become a stronger person so I can be more helpful to others while pursuing the things I value. I hope we can all arrive at a common set of human values that we can focus on: Good things that we all share.

I should also say that my list of possible explanations for the current U.S. national mood were mostly speculation and not that well-informed.

And I also should add that when I discussed Gen X I was just generalizing based on a few examples, and speculating on how their characteristics would influence Gen Z. My impression of Gen X in general is of a group that values hard work and independence, and also a balance of work and freedom, who value conscientious and can skew a little skeptical sometimes. I think these are all admirable traits, which I also value. But also these generational characteristics are always a bit vague and have limited application to any individual person, of course. I have enjoyed the company of the Gen X colleagues I've worked with.

But there are certainly characteristics I see in Gen Z that feel different from what my friends and I exhibit(ed). (We are Millennials.) But Facebook came out my first year of university, and I think the "like" button, which they say changed social media drastically, came out in around 2010. I had a flip phone in highschool and most of college. So in many ways the technological and social worlds were very different during my childhood vs. 10-15 years later, and it's understandable that people raised in these different times could have some different habits, perhaps. I wrote about Gen Z because I do find myself surprised by some of their social behaviors semi-regularly. I'm sure it's partly just that I'm getting older as well. "Kids these days", etc.

In my other hypotheses I was not trying to push a particular political agenda either. But I have heard various explanations for the current situation. I'm sure cost of living and inflation are a very significant part. I also find it hard to imagine the pandemic hasn't had some lingering effects. I also imagine polarization could be a significant factor, though I sense it's a complex thing and is really more than just Democrat / Republican. I have also read some interesting theories attributing many social problems to income inequality, that seem convincing at first read, at least.

I had just been out when I made my previous post and felt I saw so much anger among people, and in my post blurted out what might be possible explanations. But it also occurs to me that a different hypothesis is that economic conditions aren't the (only) motivating factor, and that these feelings of dissatisfaction are some kind of group narrative or meme that has spread among people. Again, that's highly speculative, but I think history shows that charismatic leaders can sometimes inspire movements by creating such stories that help nudge attitudes in certain directions. Maybe it is some kind of story or mythology that plays into human tribal tendencies.

I'm also surely not the only person who feels that our culture is somehow a bit broken in some ways, and who has bleak moments of feeling we all might be doomed. I have heard discussions with older people who say this sentiment comes and goes, and have heard older people saying it periodically for various reasons throughout my life. Honestly when I was in middle school Limp Bizkit and Korn were on MTV, with music a little darker and more out there than I'm seeing now. Maybe things were a bit weirder but I like that we weren't so afraid of judgment back then.

If I were to complain about our current culture, I think my main complaint would be that social media and maybe other factors seem to have pushed us in a direction that feels more superficial and conformist, more focused on self image and appearances, and maybe a bit more tribal. And I personally don't like those directions and would like to see more emphasis on accepting people however they are and on things more genuine and substantial. But then again, I've always felt that way a little bit.

Okay, one last post to tie this thread up. I'll return to the actual topic of the post, since I ended up going all over the place.

On the meaning of maturity: I'm not really sure what it is, still, but I have some ideas. I suspect it probably involves at least these things:

• Self regulation and emotion regulation
• Having empathy and compassion for others and self awareness
• Having a well developed sense of self and values and respect for individuality
• Having a reasonable grasp of social norms and effective social behavior
• Having a reasonable balance between self and others, give and take, speaking and listening

I will certainly continue to work on these. I have been complaining a lot about others and society in general, because I have been on the receiving end of some frankly very cruel treatment recently. I didn't even mention a good bit of it, for fear that anyone still reading would be exhausted from hearing me complain. But, one thing I did realize is that being under a constant state of stress can make you into a different kind of person. I'm not an expert in this, but I suspect it puts your brain and body into a state where they're functioning in a survival mode. If that is indeed the case, then maybe it partly explains what is going on with many people today. I sincerely hope that we can get through these challenging times and heal from whatever these things are that are dividing us and -- to my mind -- threatening the peace and stability of our society.

But that's bigger than me. For my part, I've gotten to a more stable place where I can finally rest again, and whatever comes next for me, I will do my level best to keep making choices to stay in situations where I have the resources to take good care of myself. And I hope others can do the same.