Just survived an enormous meltdown

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The meltdowns that I have now, unfortunately, don't happen in public anymore(they are just internal and they are probably damaging my heart, because of the amount of adrenaline that they beat my body with), I wish I would just have them directed at the person that caused it. It usually happens when you try to do a good job, concentrate and some moron just comes in and starts trouble. I am talking about work...at my old job, in hospital, I worked with a bunch of insensitive people (insensitive to patients...that really always upset me to the point that I would feel sick inside), so you're trying to work, mind you, with sick people, that need all your care and concentration and all of a sudden, some fat (fat because of laziness and glutony), ignorant, ugly, mean, stupid co-worker just jumps in and starts some out of the blue trouble, because they KNOW that you have buttons that they can push...and I think that they do that because of envy, there is an air of serenity that all aspies and autistics have and SOME NT's (I think that the ones with IQ under 60), so SOME NT's can not figure out where that serenity comes from and they are just crazy with envy and why not screw somebody's day, if their day is always screwed? I always feel happy inside, regardless, I always try to make sense thru logic of bad situations and I don't think that I ever take out my frustrations on others (except the poor immediate family...that I know I am guilty of, but they understand me better now and give me space to calm down).
My point here is that an "exterior" meltdown might be good for your health, in public, directed at the moron that caused it, why have the kind of meltdowns I have, the ones that "beat" my organs with adrenaline? Let it out, just don't say the forbidden words ( that can get you in big trouble with the law, you all know what they are, they can't be slurs) and do not get physical, walk away before you hurt someone/or before someone seems like they want to touch you physically...Yes, it can cause you to lose your job, but if it would be the right job for you, you would not have to deal with that s**t to begin with... Every kick in the butt is a step forward in the future (an improvement in your life), that's how I see it now. I have had a lot of those.

My system crashes caused my wife huge pain, and it was that which gave me the motivation to escape Aspie - http://unlearningasperger.blogspot.com - so in that way maybe somehow they eventually proved a blessing, because life is so good now.
Very best JC

JCJC777 - that's a good bit of writing you have done on that site, thanks. Definitely recommended if someone wants to ease themselves into the NT world. My opinion is that aspies do get joy through friendships and connectedness and if that is what you really seek, it is within your grasp. It just takes practise and patience from all parties involved.

MELTDOWNS MELTDOWNS! OMG!

We have all been there, I tell myself, it will pass. Also super tips around here is helping me to avoid the total reaction or meltdown. I do think it is a form of breaking with reality, and I am amazed how much stress I can take before the fall.

Bless all you folks out there.

It was very, very certainly the overload from complex social situations that caused my system crashes. I have just come through a very complex Christmas and New Year (extended family, friends, childrens partners), historically my highest risk time of the year, with no system crash - I just keep on dumping that data! Wonderful.
Very best, JC
http://unlearningasperger.blogspot.com

It's really like trying to plug too many appliances into a power board. There eventually comes a point when putting one more in causes the whole fuse board to blow.