Autistic Erotica -totally SFW

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WD-40 is not an effective long-term lubricant... especially on things like bed frames which are open to the air.

I would use/counsel a midgrade lubircating oil with fewer volitile distallates...

Actually, mineral oil works well, but if you have gun cleaning supplies handy then would suggest Ballistol or CLP/BreakFree...

Maybe it is funnier to us Autistic men. Oh well.

Mind you, if you read it, it is knowingly full well that it is more of a parody on other erotica that seems to dwell on the dimensions of the lady as if the character really knew what they were.

I can kinda see how people would take the "unable to experience empathy" line as offensive (perhaps "I'm not you, how can I know that?" would work better to the same effect), but overall LOL.

You do realize we can start the WrongPlanet Smut Society.

"For a moment she felt her head was spinning. Bumping into the nightstand led her to realize it was her entire body reeling in a clockwise motion."

"He snuck into the bedroom in the way that came most naturally to him...on his tiptoes."

Last edited by MomofTom on 13 Mar 2009, 6:23 am, edited 1 time in total.

Where is the full story? All I get is just the article and the first page. Is there some button some place to view the rest?

There is no full story, it's just a joke basically. That's all there is.

It reminds me more of the 'bodice-ripper' romantic novels. Could have gone farther with it.

I considered the same; WD-40 = Water Displacement, Formula 40 (The first 39 attempts didn't work out). I do use gun lubricant/machine oil for my Cryostat &/or silicone.

Anyway, so romantic. Lab Pet likes the story.

Not to be too confiding, but once during a romantic/intimate experience, I told him (in words), "Comply." He said he'll never forget. Ever. Shouldn't there be a chapter for that?

I like the part about the clock radio, what I think a clock radio needs is a set of four weight sensors.

One goes under each leg of the bed, if you do not go to bed then bed will be lighter than normal the alarm should be canceled

If during the day the bed gains 5 to 10 Kg then it means that the dog has jumped up on the bed, maybe the clock should yell at the dog to find somewhere else to sleep.

If the bed gets an extra 50 or 70 Kg, then it means that you have taken someone else to bed. I do not know if the alarm clock should go off early so that the man can go and make his GF or wife coffee and breakfast or if the alarm should not go off to give the lovers a nice lie in.

I think that the WD-40 will not work well, I think a good graphite loaded grease would be better. But it might cause corrosion of the steel of the bed frame, perhapes a moly sulphide loaded grease would be best.

Yuck!! !
Its like stereotypical douche lol

What is so Yuck ?

I might have a go at writing some mills and boon stuff and posting it here

I am not so gung ho on reading about AS people
I am not like most aspies, really (I don't have sensory issues, I enjoy crowds and noise-eg concerts, I like change and surprise, if I am obsessed with something, generally I don't actually know a lot about it-to name a few)

He sat next to her and noticed that next to her head he could see wallpaper with a cubic pattern just like the 1 0 0 face of a primative cubic solid, while upon the floor the pattern was hexagonal. Shall I continue ?

By the way I have just checked my corrosion book and it appears that graphite grease on the flaps of USAF F16s has caused some dire corrosion.

creamy sholders

What does that mean ?

Anyway back the idea of the weight sensor bed.

If the gentleman weight is x
His young lady weighs y
His dog weighs z

I think

Then as long as neither x = y + z or y = z + x are not true then it is possible to work out from the weight if the dog is on the bed. Also if x = y is not true then you can work out who is in the bed.

One of the biggest laughs I've had in a while.. Very funny stuff.