The Dino-Aspie Cafe (for Those 40+... or feeling creaky)

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The first time I was ever "propositioned" was in Las Vegas. I was on leave for the weekend, took a bus in, arrived late on a Friday night. I was taking in all the flashing lights while crossing the street, bumped into a young woman and sent her sprawling. I apologized profusely, helped her up, and she smiled and said "Wanna f***?" I sure wasn't expecting that reply! Ha! I thanked her for the offer and said no. We ended up talking and eating and gambling until I left on Sunday. I think you, PostPaleo and ZanneMarie, are much more normal as regards sexual relationships than I ever was. I yam what I yam, you is what you is. All normal. all ok.

There's a sex forum here?

ZanneMarie: Someone said I "compartmentalized" in that I had to ask if I was supposed to ignore someone, was I supposed to ignore everything? What if those people actually said something interesting?

One guy was always a one or two liner person, kind of a troll, but said something interesting and I wanted to respond. Because it was interesting. Not because of who said it, that didn't matter.

I can kind of separate people from words. If the words or topic are interesting (or offensive) it doesn't matter WHO said it. It's just that the words turned on a light bulb in the brain and I wanted to comment.

That makes it very hard in NT world. I can dislike SOME parts of a person, but still have something to say about their words.

For instance, there was a person I did not like or get along with, and she'd been insulting me on the other site since day one. On one forum, she said she was sick and feverish. I got mad, not at her, but at the stupid guy I was talking to, because he was not paying any attention to her. And I said that I would be rubbing her back and bringing her jello, etc. He said that was "sick". Because everyone knows that you don't like her.

I said it doesn't matter when she's sick. The caring for humanity matters more. That was something NOT understood by NTs.

Similarly, I was supposed to ignore someone, and they posted a drawing that I was so offended by, that I commented and let it rip. I got in trouble for it. I'm thinking "How much crap does this creep get to get away with?" Why do *I* get in trouble for saying it's offensive and crap. The guy is a troll.

I gave up the cool shoes after I broke a toe. I used to have the neatest super stiletto shoes, not quite kink, but close enough. Suppose I should have fully answered all my questions before I hurt my back. And broke that toe. But I wasn't ready then, and not sure if I have a lot to offer now.

Seems with Aspiedom, their aren't boundaries, which includes sex. But I think one has to KNOW about the Asperger's for best results. Wait. I have no idea about that. I'm celibate. Someone else tell me about it.

well, I never saw submission as about sex, nor domination either. Well, I take that back, I DID see it as sex, but they taught me that it wasn't. Actually I figured out that they used it in STEAD of sex. Maybe it was where I practiced it. Minneapolis is pretty sophisticated, as American cities are. And they admired intellect, that is a big plus for me where ever I go. But I am way ahead of my story.

I got interested when I found myself living in the YMCA in Turtle Bay near the United Nations in New York City. I got one of those 'free' credit cards you used to get in the mail, where you could feel the plastic card in the envelope and know your prayers had been answered, (but not by any benevolent deity, but by Satan himself.) But an answered prayer is an answered prayer and since I had just graduated from college, they "gave" me 1,000 bucks (US) to play with and I was living off of that. . I had about half left and that paid for a couple of weeks at a residence for women run by the Salvation Army. The John and Mary Markel Evangeline Residence for Women at 710 13th Street at 7th Ave and 13 Street, the corner of Chelsea and the West Village. No men above the 1st floor, two meals a day served at the dining room in the basement, one room with an attached bath all included in the 1995 rent of $800. (US) a month. 16 floors of international residence for Women from around the world. I was the unique and exotic, because I was from Oregon and no one there from the woman who could never go back to Iran or the pharmacy student from Peru or the dental hygienist from Korea or the dancer from the Ukraine or NYU Film student from South Africa and Julliard student from Brazil had ever heard of the place!

My room was on the 14th floor and since the Sally Ann (as we called it)Citadel, their big church of state was on 14th Street directly behind the Residence was only 12 stories so my view of the Empire State building and the Chrysler Building and the Met Life and the Hancock was entirely unimpeded. . .New Yorkers love and can name their buildings like Coloradans love and can name their mountains. The towering beacons were there for their parents and would be there for their children and you could landmark your travels through the City by them. The World Trade towers weren't there on my first visit to New York City, and were considered newbie upstarts when they were built. They won't be there when I go back to NYC and anyway, they were downtown and my little window in my bedsitter at the Evangeline faced the other way, towards Midtown.
They change the gels on the lights on the top of the Empire State depending on the holiday or special event. St Patrick's it is all green and India Day it is orange and green and white. I loved it when they memorialized the new (then) blue M&M by all three tiers going cobalt blue into the night sky. I sat on the wide sill of the old pulley and sash window and just tried to drink it all in, knowing I was in such a unique view, and the night they re-released Pink Floyd's "Dark Side of the Moon" with a 5 radio station simulcast and a laser light show played across the Empire State I thrilled to participated in a live event with millions of people, leaning back against my window jam, my old Apple hooked up to a 300 bit modem and logged onto a Telnet chat room in Sweden called Lintilla, pre world wide web days blogging in DOS chat rooms to the nerds and geeks of the world. Lupine says that the Aspies developed the Internet so we could find each other, and the Internet has been my best friend since it's inception.

I had a sweet crib and I knew it, but after landing it I had to keep it, and I trudged the grimy NYC streets looking for work. I was behind in my rent and the kindly but clueless Major General (I kid you not, they are the Salvation ARMY, after all!) made it very plain that I must pay to stay, so in one of my ramblings I saw a flyer on a telephone pole up in Chelsea saying they needed "Women of a mature age for phone conversations" and they were paying cash money for full time work. I took the flyer with me and called. They were straight with me and let me know it was for a phone sex operator in a secure building not far from where I found the flyer and 18 blocks from where I lived. I had an appointment at the Welfare office the next day and sat there waiting for my turn to be seen, and waited, and waited cause if you were still there at 5:00 PM you took your chit down to the cashier and they gave you 5 bucks (US) just to get the hell out of there. I know 'cause I got mine the night before. The lady on the phone at the phone acting place said orientation was at three o'clock. I was torn. I was desperate, I was a long way from Oregon. I was a 46 year old Aspie (that didn't know I was an Aspie) looking at living on the street in NYC in no abstract way. I was scared.

I went to the orientation.

And what ever I thought it was, it certainly wasn't. I had been buzzed up into the building after I gave the sequence of numbers the lady on the phone had given me, then buzzed into the elevator and then met by a security guard on the 3rd floor. I signed a waiver that I would not sue them for what ever and was ushered through three more locked doors and there were about 30 women in the big room, set up like a classroom all sitting at those one armed desks. Young women, old women, black women, white women, Hispanic, Asian, all sizes and stages of grooming, economic status and we all had one thing in common. We were all desperate enough to try this thing.
A woman that might have been your average office manager started talking to us, passing out some hand outs and giving a business overview, I don't really remember what was said other than it was easier than being a waitress and trying to dodge men's hands all over you, having to put up with their lip and it was better than being a prostitute because there was no STDs, no muss, no fuss, no sheets to wash, just hang up the phone and take the next call. I put on my best student persona and even took notes! I do remember, as the three hour orientation went on, one woman gasping at one of the suggestions for a successful call and the office manager type asking if she would like a drink of water, but she declined and left the room. Matter of fact, I looked around and maybe half of the women had slipped out at various times. I just thought that they would be back, but they never came back. And when the office manager made the announcement "Of course, we do many straight sex calls, but the REAL money is in Fantasy calls and for that, the best money is in Domination."
Well after that little piece of information there were three of us left. The most desperate, and in my case, the most clueless.
But something had happened to me while I was listening to how to keep a guy burning up those minutes listening to you talk about his most deepest desires. I started to squirm in my chair. I guess I had been doing it for a while, but as the techniques of teasing and pleasing a guy with phone sex went on, I couldn't figure out what was going on with me. As the office manager described what S& M was all about (this was my introduction to any thing like this, I had never even heard of it before) and what constituted a good Dominatrix ll of a sudden it HIT ME. The squirming, the flow of viscous fluid between my legs, the flush on my face and chest. . . I was beginning to be turned on.
Hey, I am a Scorpio with a Scorpio Venus. It takes a clue by four (2X4) to get my attention, but once sufficiently intrigued, I can never resist.

We were taken into another room and we were auditioned on a live call. The other two went first, and I listened to them ( and the guy on the other end of the phone) go through the call. The first one lasted 3 minutes and the three ladies that were judging the auditions thanked her for her time and bid her a good day and the security guard took her out. The next woman lasted for almost 2 until the guy was so frustrated with her brittle manner and she communicated that nothing the guy could do would please her the judges knew she had missed the point of the training and out she went with the guard.
I was nervous, but they reminded me that the sexiest thing I could do was just be a woman answering a phone call from a horny guy. . .and I launched into my maiden voyage.

They had a twenty minute limit to a call ( and you could only call three times a week, they really cared about their clients and didn't want them to burn out, It was a family business and they had principles) and when the guy asked for my operator number so he could ask for me the next time, the judges just smiled at me and said they wanted my phone name to be "Claudia" and Claudia I became. I got the job, started that night and became and remained a Top 5% girl the whole three months I worked there.

And thus, my days as a Professional Dominatrix began



Merle
__________________
Sail on silvergirl,
Sail on by.
Your time has come to shine.
On your Hitchcock Railway*
See how they shine.
If you need a friend
Im sailing right behind.
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will ease your mind.
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will ease your mind.

* Mondgreen lyric

Last edited by sinsboldly on 26 Apr 2007, 2:02 am, edited 2 times in total.

I'd say now, that the picture would be fine to show, lol.

Would you like instructions on how to get it up?

(I'm freakin laughing so hard my sides hurt and tears in my eyes, you're a cruel woman)

YOU got training. Nobody else gets training. In any kind of relationship.

I used to make up stories, pretty much from the point of view of Aspies, or just me, about all kinds of things. Like having a tour group observe a date.

he: Hi!
she: Hello!
group: Wow!
he: Who are all these PEOPLE?
she: the tour group
he: WHAT tour group?
she: The group that will be observing our dating rituals
he: what?
she: well, we should be on our way
he: what about them?
she: you didn't notice the 55-passenger tour bus parked across the street?
he: you mean...you don't mean...they are coming with us?
she: yes.
group: when's he gonna kiss her?

And that's what I keep saying I need. Lessons. Hah! I want to ask questions. Maybe test dates, where each person can constantly give feedback where no feelings are hurt. Such as: "Oh my. You are NOT wearing that in public, er, at least not with me around"

I don't even always know what fork or spoon to use at dinner. If it will transport the food from a plate to my mouth, it works. Hands. Knives. The toothpick in someone else's beverage than I've snatched to impale something on my plate.

I'd suggest Charm School for older people, possibly partially run by children, who won't hold back anything. Kids do that. They just blurt it out, like "nooooo, you are NOT supposed to do that" and then I would know.

I guess I'll be over hear holding a dolly for a dominant 5 year old who is telling me when it is appropriate to sip imaginary tea. Geez. I do feel stupid tonight.

oh, Postie. . .such a straight line!



Merle

Early in my Career, I love the baseboard heater, it makes it so . . .homey, don't you think?



Merle

we call them Sally Anns too.

About 6 yrs ago? That's a bit of an eye opener

(don't reply if you mid me asking - maybe I'm a bit voyeristic) but did you think the callers were sleaze-bags? I guess either the pay was not good or you didn't like it if you didn't stay after 3 months. Was taking calls yuk or sort of fun?

Thought you'd like it

no Bazza, it was in 1995, so I guess I was actually 44, then. I am 56 now.




no, sleaze bags don't pay 3.99 a minute to hear a phone operator talk dirty. Sleaze bags make obscene phone calls to unsuspecting women who (quite rightly) get scared and freak out. Sleeze bags stalk people like our TRUE on chatrooms to take away their innocence, and feed off their fear. Sleezebags don't want to make an honest transaction where each side has mutual respect and compensation for their time and energy.

The men that called me were just horny and liked to be told what to do from a woman that would take charge of their situation. Some of them called before dates, so they could treat the woman with respect and dignity and keep the sexual edge off. Some called after working out, as a reward for making themselves do it. Some broke your heart because they were newly widowed, or didn't break your heart at all because they were divorced. Some wanted my dominance as absolution for treating women like poop, and they were amazed when I refused to talk to them and hung up. ( I am not going to absolve ANYone for treating people badly!)




yes, some was yuck and some was fun. The pay was enough, but one of my steady clients noticed my shining intellect and suggested I move from New York City to Sioux City, Iowa which was across the Missouri River from South Sioux City, South Dakota and Gateway 2000 computer company. So I saved up what I could and in three months was able to buy a plane ticket (in the lobby of the beautiful Twin Towers WTC, no less) and fly out to Iowa, where one month's rent in NYC was 4 months rent in Sioux City and eventually got at job at Gateway. got a job as a trainee computer technician (on the phones again) and hence started my NEW profession. . .a MCSE certified Computer Geek. It was then I retired from Professional Domination, and went strictly AMATUER, but that, as they say, is another story.

Merle

I would debate that point with you, but not here.

Well all I can say is lucky lucky you on you sex romps. And poor, poor Jim (my husband). One of my girls had a morning talk to her class and announced that her parents were virgins when they married!

Serious, if you want a place to stay in Australis, I have a spare bedroom. I love bush walks, renting cabins etc. And I'll wear a paperbag over my head if you like. And I won't give you fake good cheer. It would be weird to meet you in the flesh.

PP I, still going to stalk you but my brain is a little dull at the moment. So I'm having trouble developing the character of Dr N.T Netbury. But be alarmed, be very alarmed ...he's coming.

I'm usually meticulous at catching up on previous posts but I haven't so will come in on sleep discussion without really knowing what was discussed. When I innocently entered in on ringing in the ears I had no idea of the range of experiences that you all had. LOL. I'm way out of my depth here in this cafe. I made up a signature What's so strange about the paranormal? Never fot it up but will worry about that later.

Anyhow I have 2 neuorotransmitters misfiring. One is the deadly seretonin and the other is noradrenelin. I'm on 250 mg of efexor but will look into that dosage after the discussion on medication in this thread. Never have any trouble with sleep.

Finally loved the discussion on global warning. Will look at the politics thread. If I could tell you about the Howard government...

Read a few lines in our excuse of a local paper about the ?Crow/Rove altercation. (Can't be bothered looking the names up.) Felt like I was part of history after reading it here! (snigger) One daughter a journalist married to a journalist- one into economics and one into politics.

I could tell you about now having 2 aspergers grandchildren and Lau how Smelena is NT (hadn't learnt to quote properly) but I think you should all get back to sex and triads..

Shut up Robyn

Sorry I was way off on my discussion on sleep. Loved your onlone experiment. Think I'll slink over beside the wc for a while.

True -


You will truly compartmentalize when you decide to forget someone and actually do it. I mean when you no longer recognize them. I habitually did that in my disasters of dating attempts. Of course, when you only stay five minutes then get up abruptly and leave, you don't remember much, but they do. And yes, when I ignore, I completely ignore. The minute you think they say something interesting, they have your attention again and abuse you (well, the abusers do anyway).

Merle-

I once befriended a Dom I met online. She had an interesting story. We used to hang out. She thought I should go into that. She said, But you're a natural. I told her I'd be naturally dead if my husband caught me doing that. Actually, I'm not a natural because when I'm not interested (which is over 99.9% of the time, I'm really NOT interested. And it would have to be about me. LOL I'm not giving enough for that line of work! "Hi. You're wife can't do it for you? Well what are you whining to me for? Go buy her a book and get off the phone! Oh and learn how to do oral." That would be me. Failure as a S&M phone operator. Oh my. I had forgotten about that woman, even her Dom name. She did have some stories and a blind cocker spaniel.

As for me, I just play. Didn't you all see my advice for how not to destroy a marriage? Here it is.


If he needs to be nagged, he needs to be dumped outright. Actually, if you have no interest in being a momma to him, you shouldn't need to tell him anything. He's a grown up.

If you need to criticize him in public you might want to ask yourself why you picked him. Says more about you than him.

If he needs a short leash, he needs to be dumped. He either wants to be there or not. Don't waste your time with wandering dogs. They always get out.

If you need to be a drama queen, you obviously aren't with the right one. Walk away.

If you hate his friends, don't marry him. Birds of a feather and all that.

If you hate his hobbies, don't get involved in them. If they bother you before hand, assume it will not improve because it will get worse once he stops trying to impress you. Walk away at the first sign unless you can ignore it and it doesn't eat up all your money.

If you need to cut him off sexually, wow. Why did you marry him? Otherwise, never mix emotions and sex. Sex is sex. If you are angry, yell. It's never good to mix anger and sex anyway. Ouch. If you are angry with him, dress in black leather and take a riding crop to him before sex. You'll both get what you want.

Your family and friends do not belong in your marriage. You married him, not them. If it's so bad you need to talk to them, it's over anyway so walk away.

Well apologies are usually empty anyway. If you didn't mean to do it, you wouldn't have done it, let's face it. Saying he's sorry would mean nothing to me, so I don't know why it would mean something to him. It's just a platitude for NTs anyway. They are never really sorry except sorry they got caught.


Zanne's rules for how to keep men happy.

If he's mad - have sex. Men can't do two things at once. If he's still mad, repeat.

If he's sad - have sex. This works in both cases.

If he's distant - dye your hair, wear something completely sexy and different, take him to a hotel and have sex.

If you've forgotten he's there for a few hours and you get the hurt look (pretty obvious if you're noticing it) - have sex. He'll get over it.

Men are easy. If you don't talk much and you're having sex with them, they're happy.

Okay, well if they're OCD too, you can't touch things, move them or break their rules. But that's a different thing.

Obviously the above holds more true for NT guys than some Aspies, but my experience is with NTs only. Sorry guys.



That was my advice on how not to destroy a marriage. I'm thinking the shrinks would probably have a heyday with that. No wonder dh doesn't want me to go. He claims we'd be divorced in months. LOL

"So, how do you two communicate when you fight?" (therapist)
Z "I dress in black leather and take a riding crop to him. Then we have sex."
Dh "I like it."
Therapist "I think we should work on the communication.
Z
Dh

"Umm. we'll stick to sex. Thanks for your time."



Anyway Merle, that story was hilarious! Hey, you managed to find a job and that's what counts. Plus you found a new hobby. Every girl (or woman) needs a hobby. Did it become your obsession?

Nanna -

Just relax and let coffee dude get you some java. <snaps fingers> I'll send him out for some seratonin later.


We need to expand the cafe. I wonder where my EF cuz Fuzzy is?