The Dino-Aspie Cafe (for Those 40+... or feeling creaky)

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I can still hear them saying you must never break the chain....


Zanne: "Coffee dude, Merle needs a backrub and your assistance with moving. Go help her."
Coffee dude: "Who is going to serve coffee and food?"
Zanne:

i think that talking about sexuality is mostly a good thing,
this way we can see that it's not the same for everyone,
that some things can be as a joke and some not,
and problems can be put in a better light.

if no one ever talks about it, people are going to help themselves
with the lousy things they see on tv or internet or something
mostly nothing to do with reality, that would be sad

still i have difficulties seeing my own thoughts on it in black and white,
not the joking, but the serious thoughts. (especially cause it's so weird if you erase a previous comment, and if it would be in a chatroom where text is erased it's even more akward cause you need to almost plan it to have it as a subject)

but i do understand cosmicat if she is more sensible about it,
no reason to get mad though
if we would stop talking about any sensitive subject there would only be the boring things left.
it would make me feel like when i was young, because i lost my mother nobody ever wanted to discuss death with me, and i didn't want anything more than that



a small mouth? don't know, i have a upperlip that is more or less hidden, and no place in the back for my (how do call these extra teeth in english?) well, these teeth in the back.
no trouble playin the trumpet though

Wisdom Teeth.

I love a gal with a good apature!


Merle

How can they call the "face" ASD?? That seems redundundant. We're talking about people on the spectrum, DUH ! !

Anyways, I see a certain "angel face" amongst the ladies (but of course mon ami!!), but not so much the guys. I have noticed the ladies will post one, or two pics, but the guys post pics like this is some dating website ! !! OK, guy, we see you ! ! We don't need 20 pics ! !!

On the other hand, I look like FDR ! !!

FDR was a handsome, urbane man! Do have a cigarette holder?

I feel like taking a trip ever since I wrote about my traveling realtive.

Check the Request a Pic thread under Members only ! !!

Good luck with move, Merle.

Coffee Dude, hurry up! Merle needs you, but we can't do without our jolt, which is your job.

Have been keeping up with you all, quietly, although I missed the latest broughaha. Kind of glad I did.

But we seem to be okay post-tiff. Whew!

Any number of topics have piqued my interest,all, but I just haven't been able to write. Have started to post any number of times, but just...haven't. Must have a need to stay quiet and listen for a while.

Regardless, thanks for keeping me company.

DD

well, the moving dude is an hour late, and his phone just goes to message. The silly part is, (she says as she moves her own boxes and crap out to the UHaul) is he advertizes on Craigslist, and when I type my little missive behind his name, he is going to wish he showed up.

Grrrrr. . .I hope the anger helps me MOVE this gawd danged stuff.

Next is the desk...


Merle

It must be today. I just had a real life meltdown. They'll just think it's the red in my hair though. It was a whopper. I threw can on the floor and told them there was no way they could make me happy now. Now I'll make dh go back the next time. He's just sitting here shaking his head.

It's okay if you just want to watch Dog Dancer. It could be dangerous right now with all the meltdowns. Best to lay low.

Merle, did you keep your riding crop out for moving dude?

You threw a can of what on the floor, Zanne.

The only time I've ever threatned violence was during a move for our old condo. Hubby was backing a U-haul over the lawn to the front door and resident busy body came screaming out of her condo telling us we had park in back and carry all the stuff half a block. I told her if she didn't shut up I would knock her on her ass then run her over with the truck.

Good response! I remember helping my daughter move. We had to park on a busy street, where it was hard to find a parking space. After circling the block a few times, I spotted a slot opening up. I told my daughter to get out and stand there so no one could park. An irate, would-be parker tried to fuss at us. Be we had learned to ignore people who were being annoying. They blew their horn, rolled down a window and yelled, but I just parked the truck. We couldn't help laughing, though, and this made the person angrier. They got out of their car and tried to tell us off, but we just stared until they gave up and drove away.

I was totally exhausted, Hartz. I had spent the entire night packing and then this shrew demands we schelp the stuff so we don't damage the lawn. I had never before threatened anyone, but I scared her witless and we didn't hear another peep out of her. Moving is so stressful!

Back to me! Are you looking at moi? (Kath and Kim is a very sucessful Aussie comedy which has been rewritten for the American market. We often talk like them, and that's one of their quotes.

Ubby was strange when he entered year 1 after preschool. Helen begged me to spend time at the school because he was having so much trouble with writing. He was also in trouble for his behaviour, calling out non stop. In fact he was a general nuisance and his name was known around the school. She was beginning to doubt his intelligence, or at least think he was dyslexic.

I..(looking at fingernails and smiling sweetly so that NT's could see what a martyr I am) would have to travel 3 hrs for 90 minutes in class)...I could see straight away that he was at least average in his writing.

Then I saw him yelling at his teacher. He would not stop telling her she was unfair. I had never seen him act like this and didn't know what to do. I sat on the floor beside him and stroked his arm and that seemed ok. I would have taken him back home but Helen was at work and I was going to visit my M-I-L.

He and his brother were identified as anxious and went to some workshops at school. Ubby also went to a group to learn social skills.

I saw other strange behaviour - he was stalking his classmates, peeping around corners and looked so weird etc etc. He played the class clown. He caused non-stop interruptions.

It was his wonderful teacher that suggested he was aspergers -that was just 12 months ago. She was so calm. I, a retired and very experienced teacher, learnt from her that we had to back off as it only escalated his bad behaviour. We always knew he was a stubborn little s**t but never like this. We found out during last year that she has a teenage son with aspergers, but she never mentioned it. I think she saved Ubby from a lot of medical intervention because Helen could get straight to the diagnosis. It is only in January this year that he was officially diagnosed.

Ubby is our treasure. Helen and I are both gobsmacked at what we've learnt here and we realise that he has an intelligence we can't understand.. Nonone touches Ubby unless it saves his life. As the pressure increases in year 2 he has become more bizarre. He is not attention seeking or manipulating, he is simpy shutting down. Some close family members can't see that. But my very NT husband and my family are a very strong support group, and her husband has forged with her in the past weeks to form a strong partnership. We know it will all work out in the long run but this escalation scares us.

I say we all the time but tha's because I identify so strongly with Helen as she does all the work.

Even as Helen watches, he is becoming sadder, more shut down. She has now arranged for him to have Wednesdays at home, and she said that it looked like a great load had been lifted off his shoulders. He does not want me to teach him, only mummy. I am relegated to baby sitter of a very wellbalanced 3 year old.. He is angling for home schooling, but Helen has inherited my depression. She says that if she had not discovered WP she would have had breakdown by now. She needs work as an outlet, and she is working 5 days a fortnight and her bosses are very supportive.

She begins cognitive therapy with him at Tony Atwood's Asp and aut clinic in May. I don't think that is pscho mumbo jumbo but we will see.. And just in the past week I've been wondering about medication for anxiety.

Helen is a calm person not prone to ..exatturation.. eg at u rations... can't spell ..but at this time she feels she has to do something to save his life. She is considering a small community school that is unstructured, no time tables, where learning is built around a child's special interests (obsessions... oops meant passions)


Now I've got that off my chest, back to you and your interests. Thanks.

"Exaggeration".

FWIW, my daughter's greatest strides have involved sensory-integration therapy. When she's on the verge of a meltdown, it helps if I can stroke her arms and legs with the soft plastic brush her first teacher gave us. (Sometimes, she even comes over holding the brush - and of course, when she's requested it, the brushing always has to be followed by joint compression. I think she likes the way we came up with for compressing all the leg joints simultaneously - I hold her arms and she jumps straight up and down, ten times. She does like to jump...)

It wasn't one can, it was stacks of them. And I was right so I don't care.

It was pet food. You know how they are recalling all this pet food. Well, they recalled one brand of dry I used. No biggie, it hasn't made any pets sick but they pulled it on precaution, so I pitched mine and went through the trauma of tracking down an alternative through my vet. (My vets love me, but I am the mother of all pains as a pet owner. I'd be the first one to admit it.) If I call and say I want something, not only do I know exactly what it is and what it does, but I can tell you everything on the label or in that case the bag and it drives them crazy because I am so specific and want them to be as well. LOL

Anyway, being the Aspie and neurotic pet owner I am, I habitually check the recall site and I called the manufacturer of my food to find out what exactly they found in which lots and how many complaints, etc. All of which they gave me bless their hearts because I am a pain in the ass about this stuff.

So today I go to get more canned food before our Hawaii trip. I thought I bought it the other day, but as it turned out they had put other cans there with exactly the same color labels that were not the same food. (One of my cats has allergies so she has special food they both eat.) So $26 into the trash and I go to the other store where I can buy it to get a case. SAME thing! They put this other food in that spot that looked identical. So I confronted the girl about why the other food had been removed. She told me it was recalled. I said only the dry was recalled. She said they recalled both. I told her, Nonsense. I called the company myself and verified. Then of course I tell exactly which lots were recalled, etc. She said, They told us it was both. I said, Can you read? It was right on their website what was recalled. She just stared at me and said, What can I do to make you happy? I said, You can start by moving those cans you have in exactly the same spot that look the same so unsuspecting owners by the cats with food allergies the wrong food. At this point all the people picking up their dogs from grooming are staring. She just looked at the food. I told her, Do you understand that if they buy that food in error, looking identical as it does, and feed it to their cat, they are looking at vet visit with steroid shots that can cause an instant case of diabetes? She just stood there looking stupid. I said, I want that food moved right now. (Now I am getting stubborn because I am right and it needs to move.) She just continued to look at me. So, I reached in and swept it all to the floor. Then I stepped over it and said, You have to move it now, don't you. Next time, listen to reason and you won't be picking it off the floor. And learn to read!

So out the door I go, go home to dh and tell him he will have to go from now on because they are too stupid for me to deal with.

There ends the sad tale of my meltdown. They are usually quick, but a big blowup.

*creeps in through the bathroom window and falls over some stupid plant*


"It's not ordinary and it's not mundane, but it does not involve golden showers and appliances"
----------------------------------------------------
He was talking about his sex life with Gail in 1980. This information comes
from a book I picked up the other day entitled Frank Zappa: in his own words
http://sam.hochberg.com/zappa.html

.............................................................................................................................................................................

Thats where it came from, I just messed with it a little. The comments were not directed at anybody, not any one sex, well actually both as best as I could do it. If there is a third, I apologize for leaving it out. A little story my NT wife told me about something helped this along too. By the way, she's 6 years older then I am. The damn thing should have been writtin better, that was my failing. I'm new to this writing thing, but should have seen it a little better, no excuse. But damned if I'm going to write a freakin masters thesis trying to go with every twist and turn to a thought. I can't use the "I'm new at this writing thing much longer" much longer either, but I'll try.

*more tongue in cheek stuff follows*

I'm not going much further with this stuff. I found out my flamewar/troll skills are very rusty and only could put the humor and come back bait in, after I calmed down, which didn't happen right away. So in essence I fell victim, to one of the cardinal rules. With a subject heading as this thread has, I don't think you could fairly call anyone a troll. Actually, I think, if you're not one of them, you probably won't write anything too much here. I did find some very funny, later, the you need serious help part was hystirical to me later, and on an aspie site. Never thinly veil a threat to anyone with only 9 people, to some one that has a terminal disease and used to joke when he got out of the the green weenie machine (army), gee, they taught me a trade, I wonder how useful it will be in the civilian world. You'd better call the volunteer fire department too.

*dunno where tounge is, but it's not in cheek*

I'm getting very close to being able to use that L word in here. That I would actually leave my cave to meet people that come here and other places on this site, is a break through for me. Love doesn't come easy to me, obsessions over things don't count, not on the same terms.

Live and learn

Well I did and some of it hurt and some of it, I more realize, I can't go into denial anymore. I have to face it, even if I don't always make eye contact with it, I still see it, know it's there and won't bury it anymore. I need to learn to cry better. I did and it was good. It was nothing that, my dear one, CC, said, it was what I had thrown away in the come back. Today I feel bad because, right or wrong, no idea, doesn't matter, she may very well may feel badly as well and I do not like to see anyone do a guilt trip. I do not degress. I think I have had PTSD pretty bad and have had it for a long time, 35 years or so, I don't do numbers. I was in denial and I guess, I was on/am on a self destructive path. A path that has repeated itself often in my life. Most of them I have faced and at least beat back to some degree. I don't hide them. It is not healthy for me to do that. It would be something when I speak of them, can easily look like something else. Sex is one, drugs is one, drinking is another. I can excell in pointing out correct paths to try, to some here, that might be dealing with these. But and this is a big but, my child rearing days are over, my grandchildern rearing days are slowing, I'm just hold my great grand childern and smile, let their grandparents help with the mistakes we all make at being parents. Parenting gets better with practice, that's why grandparents can do it sometimes a little better. We've made the mistakes and have had the time to look at them closer and can send them home again, catch a breath.

PTSD has basicly three types, this is one. Meet another part of me. A gift I gave myself with the governments blessings. The government will most likely try to cover their ass on it, again, but I won't.

Hyperarousal:

Exaggerated startle reaction
Explosive outbursts
Extreme vigilance
Irritability
Panic symptoms
Sleep disturbance

Pity isn't healthy, don't give it to me, I do take mastercard. The Bipolar might or might not be there, it sure doesn't fit very well anymore. AS still fits like a glove and this I can see in my faimly tree, BP I could not find. So I got drafted with either of the two or both and set myself up for PTSD. Got a couple other things happening, this stuff brings friends, this isn't knew news here. So, this is my task and some of it you'll have to just cover your ears. When I try to do something, it becomes a part of me and comes out every where. I will still try to go with the flow here, it is perhaps one of the most healthy places I have been and seen, in a very long time. The stablizer I'm on is working. There is no cure for any of this and that's ok. It's ok that there is no cure for Hep C. These are gifts and that's how I'm going to beat it. I own them, they are mine and I'll point them in a positve direction. That might not make sense to some, doesn't matter, it does to me and I know I can make it work, been there done that. It will take time and that's ok too.

*no more "*" *

Almost done. The sex discussion in here is good and this why it see it that way. It doesn't care who you are, just like AS doesn't. You are what you are. The open discussion is an invite to anyone that needs to feel better accepted, it's all good, we like you no matter what you do behind closed doors with those that consent. Hung up about it? Might have an idea. Don't like the kid section? Well you're not in it. We know how to talk about it and not get graphic. It can be funny, sex is fun ya know. I pick up on something and go with it, if the other person isn't picking it up again, that means they don't want to go that way with it, fine, it's dropped. So if I say gee, I'm trying to laugh and have an orgasim at the same time, I'm not even sure it's possible, that's funny to me, if no one picks it up, fine. I'll go to why the sun is melting and we're all doomed and we need to grow banana trees (plants yeah I know, give a guy some artistic license for cripes sake) to cover our heads when it melts. Porno site, hardly. They're very boring anyway, well to me, not worth the finger energy to go to one (I can't help it, honest) Belong in another spot? I dunno, for the most part I only come here. Think we already zoomed by it anyway.

So anyway, last I knew, CosmicCat and I were talking about the Cha cha cha. I think I said I dropped my date on the floor with a missed grip, on a swing, doing the Jitterbug. Think I said, I got embaressed, had to be corrected and that it was ok to be corrected. I learned to pick up my dance mate and then get embarressed.

In that paragraph, I don't think I could have written a better beginning and end to what happened, if I tryed for a million years. Funny, how what goes around, comes around. Yes it is. Life is good.

The trick to dancing well is, it isn't the falling down all clumsy, you got to learn to get up again, all clumsy. Then it still looks good.

Can I have the next dance Cosmic Cat? With your husbands brothers permission of course.