The Dino-Aspie Cafe (for Those 40+... or feeling creaky)

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well, not having any dog in the fight, so to speak, I can't speak to the soundness of either your or earth calling's advice, however . . .

I have noticed if I really wanted to get my point across, not to tick off either side. Those that see the criticism of another person's advice will ignore yours and those who thought yours had merit will be put off by your delivery.

if you are asking MY advice. . I would excoriate the advice but not the advisor, if you catch my drift. love( or at least tolerate) the sinner but hate the sin, so to speak.

Merle

Merle, you didn't convert last night, did you ?? Attend a tent revival??

oooops. double post...

Last edited by SeriousGirl on 05 May 2007, 12:58 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I approach the world eclectically, Professor. . I dine from the banquet of life and take a little here and a little there. . all the best, you understand, I chew what works and eschew what doesn't. Pardon the ecumenical parlance; next time I shall masque it in literary sauce and later others will think the wisdom my own.

Merle

Merle, I've done that repeatedly - excoriate a certain person's advice, who can go on and on, paragraph after paragraph of nonsense. I just don't have the energy to argue with it all. The problem is that the NT parents want a pity party and an emotional connection. They're listening to what they want to hear. I feel a parent can do great things to insure that their child has a better chance of success.

In my own situation, 15 years ago, AS was brand new and my son had one of the first diagnosis in our area. The school had never heard of it. They assigned him to a class with mentally ret*d children, even though his verbal IQ is 142. I hired a private psychologist, found an advocate, filed a complaint with the Office of Civil Rights in Atlanta. I pushed them to the brink of a full scale federal investigation in order to get my son into mainstream school.

As a parent, I feel strongly that you have to do whatever it is you have to do in order to get what is best for your child. I keep giving practical information over and over again and most of it is ignored.

Such eloquence! I'm in awe and envy.

The Salad Bar of Life.....

s**t, maybe I should just write up a "form" post to parents about their job as an advocate and their responsibility to get the best for their children's future, even if that includes spending money and reading books.

I don't suffer fools or pantywaists gladly.

Thanks, Professor. This person I posted the remarks to hasn't had great success with her own child's problems. Why is she giving advice when she hardly knows what she is talking about?

I've always thought of you as quite saucy, indeed.

I was "lucky" enough to live in a community that had no provisions for mentally handicapped children. The boy down the street was kept in a room and when they moved out, they found the windows had been nailed shut and a cage in the closet. I saw the room myself and it looked like a wild animal had been ravaging the walls and floors. He got out one time and I still remember my mother screaming at the 'window peeper' looking in her bedroom window. I was terrified to sleep in my room at night for years and still get the creeps in the dark.

But I digress, the point is, there was no provisions for the mentally handicapped, we either met with unfortunate accidents (of which I have written at length on this Cafe) or went to the public school, and that is probably the only reason I was "mainstreamed" is because there was no other 'stream'. I knew not whether I sank or swam, most of the time. I 'graduated' from highschool only because they did not want me to be there ( 1.7 GPA) and 30 years later, I graduated from college magna cum laude. (shrug) I didn't know I was Aspie either time.

I have no idea if my history or my 'degree' of AS or just my unknowing that I was SUPPOSED to be any different from anyone else was responsible for my learning how to cope with living in the world. It took every corpusle I had to get where I am today, and I couldn't say what would have been if it were any different.

Merle

I missed a whole bunch I see. I will have to go look at the parent's forum now.

Merle, I was thrown out of kindergarten for elective mutism and then declared gifted in the 1st grade. My parents had such expectations of me! Boy, did I disappoint them.... Like you, I later got a degree.

You can do things to help kids with AS have a happier life in school. I didn't want my kids to have their self-esteem destroyed and that is what school can do. An aspie can teach themselves after they learn to read and write, do basic math.

Ah, but the social "lessons" we learned in school are not to be forgotten. At least, I haven't forgotten mine.....

I hope I didn't offend you, Blessed. You're one of the good moms.

I'm just getting home from my night job. I love grateful clients. Yesturday in my down time between customers I watched Mozart and the Whale and cried. I had a whole new understanding and clarity about when I met Jerry on a bus 27 yrs. when I was almost 19. Let's just forget for a moment how confusing life is at that age not having Asperger's. God bless him, the people who put that movie together and you for being here for one another.
Really wish I could hang but I'm sleep, nutrient and shower deprived to the point of trembling. I'll check in later.

Serious;
Thank you, thank you!! I really fought with myself all day long to keep from saying something to that person, the one you set straight, and I just couldn't do it!! I love that you did!! Every time I go to the parents forum, there she is, spewing her advice. The parents in there already have an over-load of stress and info. and then to have someone hammering them with their opinions over and over, well...it's just thoughtless and rude.
Okay!! OOHHMM! Time to settle down and relllaaxxx!!

It turns out I had the flu yesterday! I am so glad because I really want this med to work. The fog in my head has lifted after years. I even sat through the entire "Mozart and the Whale" movie without leaving my chair or moving around constantly!! YAY!!

My hubby finally saw why I keep saying I think he is AS. He was playing WOW on his computer but the movie was playing where he could see it. He ended up watching the movie (didn't think I knew) and this morning he said,"that guy is me." and he is very right. The movie made me cry because the way Isabelle dealt with him was exactly the way I had to deal with Hubby when I first met him. And our marriage is dysfunctional in the same way but to a lesser degree now. It was quite stormy at first, until we both adjusted.
It was an eye-opener because when you're in the midst of chaos you rarely notice the truth about the situation.