Divide between old and young aspies

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I was born mid 80's but if i was born later i would have had an early dx. How i got through school sitting in the corner and having no friends is beyond me. I even made my teacher cry in 1992 and i had to change classrooms because at the top of our page we would have to write the date eg 12/06/92. I asked what would happen in the year 200, if we would have to write a 00 or 4 digits as 2000. I even completed year 10 maths in year 6 and was in the top 10 students for the 12-14 year age group test at just 11.

this was mid 90's.

I was born in '77 and the "Emotionally Disturbed" classification saved my hide. It got me shipped off to a private school with 3-4 kids per class and I flourished. I went from failing 10th grade to doing so well in class and SATs that the home district went back and gave me all my 10th grade credits. I was accepted to BU, NYU and other great schools but made the decision to go to a smaller school (since I knew something clicked that way) and then transfer to Rutgers for my engineering degree (I only had to deal with big classes 3 semesters).

Aspergers is a much more fitting and better description on what was always so "off", rather than ED but I feel that I may have not developed the coping skills I have if I were to have realized my diagnosis earlier. I can act like anyone at anytime and have a list of scripts a mile long. It comes in so well when I am presenting to top level executives and can make them feel like I am mirroring their personality without them even knowing.

My son on the other hand knows he has AS at 5, almost 6. How he carves out his life is beyond me, but I am curious to find out. I am sure it will be great. I promise to be his #1 advocate for all my life, and that can only help him.

I got labelled as emotionally disturbed in first grade but put in a class for kids with severe acting out problems. My parents were PISSED as hell and kept trying to mainstream me. When I got in trouble with my peers and teachers in regular classes, they blamed all my social and behavior problems on picking up bad habits from special ed. I did manage to stay in a regular high school but it was a social hell for me. My parents didnt give a rats ass if I had friends or not; they thought if I was mainstreamed and got good grades, I would be "cured" and they were pissed when I didn't make it in the adult world.

If you read more about my pathetic life story, browse my website at http://www.myaspergerslifestory.com/

Labeled a defiant child. Teenager with Attitude problem. Rude, Arrogant, and too serious Today
The years of self doubt i have experiencied (and still do) thru growing up constantly failing, disapointing/disapointment, not understanding, being misunderstood, causing endless frustration and anger in adults. It was always "i choose to do". Irony (calmly worded) of having my parents punish me day in day out for the same things. It still confuses me greatly how they got angry at me for there expectations became demands to "cut my crap and to get it right this time"(500th time). There was no help to clear up misinformation on what they asked of me so in there eyes I was still choosing to me awkward.
Hearing "i love you, but i cant stand this crap you pull" over an over again was the most conflicting thing.
By age 7 my behaviour was no longer tolerated, life became impossible for me. Self depreciation became a helpful tool .
Heres an introduction to the Child instruction manual i was guided thru
1; Instructing me with unexplanatory details that confused me.
Gives me options
1a;For repeating instructions back to parents. Punished.
1b;. Asking to have details repeated to me. Punished
1c; Admitting i didnt understand. Punished.
1d;Slowily approaching task. Punished.
1e; Showing confushion to instructions. Punished.
Etc

I spoke to my parents for the first time in over 15years last month. They havent changed overtime.

I've wondered for a while what it would be like to grow up with an autism diagnosis - the dangers of institutionalisation were in the forefront of my imagination when I was first diagnosed, but since then I've been significantly impressed by how far parents, teachers and therapists are prepared to go to improve the outcomes for people like us.

I'm starting to give up hope of ever establishing any kind of working social networks for myself, but I can see how it might have been different, and I can see how, if the information keeps on flowing, the world at large might move towards a less condemnatory outlook on autistics as members of the human race.

My Mum said I wasn't diagnosed for autism because the doctor said I didn't have all the symptoms, but the doctor I have now thinks I have Aspergers as she's been studying about it.

back in my day, it was referred to as being "STUBBORN"

I grew up in the 60s & 70s. The only DX I got was that I was being difficult, & willfully stuborn. Harsh punishment was regularly dished out for my "bad behavior." Kids called me weirdo, homo, & freak...that was my other DX. I still don't have a formal DX, but I am no different now than when I was a kid. My parents thought beatings & yelling at me would fix the problem. The schools thought the bullying would turn me around & make me comply. I am still bullied as an adult & threats still haven't fixed my brain. So what is one to do? I have tried to get a DX many times, but the shrinks only consider kids to have autistic tendencies or be on the spectrum, not someone who is female & pushing 50.

On a side note, I grew up in a home with a black & white TV. We had a corded phone with a rotary dial in the kitchen, & the only futuristic gadgets existed on Star Trek (my favorite show). Color TV was amazing...loved it when my parents finally got one. It was the early 70s by then. Pong was the only video game available...I could stare at it forever, because I was so mesmerized. I was still into ST-TOS long after NBC cancelled it, & spent weeknights glued to the TV watching Kirk, Spock, & McCoy. I knew about ST conventions but was never allowed to go, until well into my 30s & could do what I wanted. (Anything that I liked was an automatic NO from my parents.) They were into antiques (dad also most likely has Aspergers since he has his special interests). A push button phone was a huge jump forward in my household! I learned to type on antique typewriters (non-electric), & played music on an old pump organ with bellows that had to be pumped with my feet. I married later than other girls my age, & sort of got into computers (dragged kicking & screaming into the digital age-but back then it was 5 inch floppy drives & little RAM, it was a IBM clone 286). It's taken me a long time to feel comfortable with/around technology. Today, I use multiple computers at home, have a semi-smart cell phone (& know how to use it), & am now into digital photography though I grew up & took classes in film photography. I've also learned how to do digital photo editing, also with multiple programs. Things change. If you don't learn to adapt, you get left behind. My dad is now lamenting the fact that he turned his back on technology years ago, & there's no way for him to get caught up. He's out of luck, permanently stuck in a long gone era right along side his antique relics. The only way to survive is to forge ahead.

Tomboy

I was born in 1974 and I was diagnosed 5 and a half years later with HFA. I was lucky to get the diagnosis, but I wasn't lucky with the way that I was raised. There wasn't any information on how to raise kids on the spectrum, in the 80s and for a good half of the 90s. It was, "Don't do this!" "Don't do that!" "Don't talk about your interests all the time!" "You have a one track mind!"

As a result of my upbringing, this image is the first thing that reminded me of my first life, at the tender age of 8:

I was born in 1976 and diagnosed with "spoiled brat" syndrome in 1983- The so called psychologist told my parents that I was acting out to get attention.

That thing about beating them harder if they don't conform really got my back up - back in '68 I just walked out. Somewhere, I figured, in the world was someone who'd appreciate me for what I was.

Of course, I was wrong, but who cares about that now?

I just got beaten and slowly withdraw into myself more and more. Eventually I got diagnosed with major depressive disorder, insomnia and social anxiety. The diagnosis still hasn't changed.

I really think it depends on the kind of family/resources you have too. I was born in 1990 (making me a "younger" aspie) but I don't feel I got that much luckier as far as support and stuff went. My parents actually did realize, when I was about 2 or 3, that I was autistic, and I did get occupational and speech therapy. However, the stuff my parents researched was on autism, not Asperger's. They tried to understand it at the "cellular" level (as my mom put it), and put me on a gfcf diet, natural supplements, etc. but I don't think they ever really researched the "psychological" side - thus, resulting in them questioning me constantly about why I was so "spazzy" "aloof" "nasty" etc. even though they could have KNOWN that at least some of that was due to autism! I think, after I got to a certain functioning level, they assumed I was "cured", and they didn't want to look back - there was a period of about 11 years (first grade to after my high school graduation) where I didn't get ANY kind of services whatsoever (psychological, special ed, etc.). I was very high-functioning, yes, but I still could have used some more help, especially in the social/emotional areas. I was also TERRIFIED of anyone finding out that I was "different" (even though I didn't have a name for the difference) and I think my parents were happy to go along with that - I wish that they had forced me to go to some kind of counseling, even if I had hated them for it, for awhile. I think it might have helped in the long run. But it seemed like my parents were more interested in keeping our "reputation" intact, even if it meant that I didn't get all the outside help that I could have.

However, even if my parents HAD tried to get me more help earlier on, I think it STILL would have been a challenge. I am female, making it hard enough to recognize the issue for what it was, and, moreover, I was a very mild, atypical case (ex. I barely talked at all, I learned earlier than most Aspies how to "blend in", etc.). Honestly, I don't think I would have qualified for any kind of school services after about second grade. Doctors are STILL pretty clueless about Asperger's, unless they are either top experts or it's a clear-cut case. I finally got my psychiatrist convinced, by giving her a list of the DSM criteria for Asperger's with in-depth annotations on how I specifically met each criteria. And I could not convince the neuropsychologist I went to, that this was my issue - he actually implied that I was somehow using as a cover for my "avoidance issues" (but that's a whole different story). My point is, it doesn't really matter your age - if you are high-functioning and atypical enough, you can still find it very hard to get proper support.

I have to say, though, that in spite of all that, at least I was able to find out the name for my "problem" at age 16, even if it took me awhile to convince other people. I was able to help myself quite a bit, using the knowledge I had come across while researching Asperger's. I can't imagine going through half of my adulthood, with the confusion and severe anxiety and social problems that I had during my childhood, not knowing what the hell is wrong with me. And at least my psychiatrist and psychologists are open-minded and very helpful, and my parents do seem to be coming more to terms with this - hopefully it's not too late for me.


(Whew, I hope this isn't TOO much of a tl;dr dealie!!)