Being treated like a child as an adult.

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My mom died, so I can't really say much about her.
But my dad has always been abusive and a bully.
Just the other day, I went up to the house to take the car somewhere and wash it.
Its my car, but my brother drives it - because he is never home, and I pay for everything, insurance, inspection, registration and it is in my name.
My brother has been letting my dad drive it to and from the airport - he works out of town and usually flies to where he has to be.
Well my dad came running across the yard - yelling at me - where Am I Going With MY CAR!

I basically told him to take a flying f_ck...
I haven't heard a peep out of him since.

He would do that at my uncles hunting camp and all sorts of social situations where he had an audience and could put me down to make himself look bigger.
The bottom line is - once someone bullies you, they will do it for the rest of your life until you stand up for yourself.

For me it all came to a head at the hospital when my mom was dying. He was running his mouth and I offered to take him outside - just like American Chopper and he refused to go.

DO you KNOW what happens when you stand up to a bully and win? They run away and whimper in a corner someplace like the coward they really are...
Only people who are insecure with themselves puts other people down to make themselves look bigger, better.

Personally I can't help it that I don't get along with everyone.
I tried and it is impossible to do.
There are some that I can tolerate better then others.
I can't help it that most of my jobs only lasts 90 days - the period of where you go from temporary to hired in most places.
For my disability, I work twice as hard as most people - and still make less then the average pan handler.

I'm very tempted to start using such harsh words against someone I otherwise respect, but who consistently talks down to me (and others) like that. I'm no where near confident enough to stand up to her when she's talking to others that way, but I am getting closer to standing up for myself, at least. My number one issue is that I am still a bit intimidated by this person. I have learned that the first thing to do in such a situation is understand the phrasing of that last sentence. "She intimidates me" gives her the power over me. "I am intimidated by her" gives me power over my own intimidation.

Now, to get myself to stop being intimidated by her and be able to stand up to her when that opportune moment comes....

I work in a school and a lot of the time, the teachers speak to me as though I'm one of the children which really gets to me sometimes. Although from the other perspective, I find being around the children easier than the adults and really enjoy spending time with them.

Combination. They treat me like a baby, but they say I should stop watching animated shows and start looking at the real ones.
Sorry- I'm an austic adult. Our development stages are different then yours. We won't ever be as mature but
But in the world of austim, we're adults.

My wife commented today that sometimes I'm like a child (I'm 53) - she'd had a spring clean and thrown out a lot of my old socks and clothing that had holes in them. I got out of the shower today and I'm staring inside the clothes cupboard totally baffled not knowing what to put on. Too many clothes to chose between. I always wear the same ones until they are literally threadbare, but now have to start wearing different clothes. She had to rescue me and show me which new jeans and shirts I should start wearing.

People either don't know how to treat me or, once they get to know me they treat me like a child.

It's not fair!

Yes, I get that a lot. Which is funny because I am highly educated and live independently for many years abroad, speak several foreign languages etc. I think that just confuses them ("how did he get there?").

Happens to me all the time and I'm getting so fed up with it!

Your relatives may treat you like a child but are you sure that you are acting as an adult? I know that I do not act as other grown-ups my age do and I get treated accordingly. I used to mind when I was younger but I realize that if I am projecting certain behaviours then maybe I am receiving them in return which in fact I was. Try and see how you act in a day and find out whether you are acting as an adult or as a child; e.g. do you have people reminding you to do tasks because you forget, do you handle your own tasks or do you need help often, do you act helpless or are easily overwhelmed, are your hobbies more in keeping with what younger people are interested in?

Personally, my husband wakes me up in the morning, I need to sometimes be made to make my own food, or some other chore, I prefer my husband take the initiative when it comes to speaking to someone that we have an issue with. I am perfectly fine with taking care of my son, or making lists and appointments. But, because I do not ALWAYS handle my own business can make my husband treat me like a kid and/or other people. The thing is it doesn't bother me anymore because I have accepted that I do need SOME help with things.

I got turned away from a movie theater for getting into an argument with another patron who thought they were high in mighty because I broke in line. While I agree the that it's not appropriate most of the time, the way the entrance was set up was pretty poor (I bought my ticket in advance and the attendance normally doubled as a cashier to tell tickets which meant that everyone was required to use the same line). I finally grew tired of the way it was set up and made my way up the line and the other person was just ugly about it.

I snapped at them by calling them the B word and they acted like a bully. "Oh gee you gonna call me names too. Why don't you go stand over there?" I looked at them and said "You are being a bully and you have no right so shut you f&*^in mouth." They ran off to be with their spouse inside the theater.

That is when the employees at the movie theater got involved and said in a very patronizing tone "Do we think we can see a movie tonight?" I said I was fine. "No we can't see a movie sorry." So I got my money back. As for them, they were not even watching to see the events fold. In fact, the other person got in and away with their behavior.

I was so mad that I called the theater company and complained about how I had been treated and the patronizing behavior.

When I was a child everyone used to treat me like I was half my age. My parents still treat me like I'm younger, but I don't notice it as much from other people. Probably because I force myself to act my age. I often skip school when I'm too tired to keep my act together.

Quiet the same here. There are people, that feel happy for me and tell me so, that I managed to get that far, even when I am obviously disabled. But I have sadly experienced as well thatsome specially older school-comerades from ground- or basic school, felt negative about it, that I did better then some of them. So they somehow feel insulted, that I managed a rather hard school education, while they did much harder in school. One time I met one in a supermarket, and he started chatting to me and was first really friendly, but when he asked me, what I did after ground school, he acted really as pissed of. I know as well from another one, that I recognized (does not happen that often) and that pretended to not know me, when I greeted her, and from others I heard that she was talking with them about meeting me, and she were totally surprised when she was told that I actually worked as engineer, while she would have expected me to be in some sort of "disability program". (Which seems to be the reason, why she pretended to not know me.) I did not meet her again until now, but because of her sh***y behavior, I have decided as well that I dont want to recognize her anymore. Not recognizing someone is ok, happens to me all the time that I dont recognize people. But recognizing someone, pretending not to do so, and then talk behind others people back, that you met a person and decided to pretend not to recognize her, because of you feeling ashamed in public for knowing that person, because of that person being somehow weird/disabled.

My dad was as well not thinking for a long time, that I could live on my own. He even forced me to do certain testing, when I was 14, so that he would be given the right to choose for my further job/schooleducation. Luckily at that tests, they found out that I had rather high intelligence, and convinced him, that I should go to higher school forms. The next years, he spent bugging me if I really think to manage that school, because when I was not interested in a certain subject, I simply did the minimum for it, and so 1/3 of my notes had rather bad marks in those subjects. ^^ And when I did my driving license he insisted on driving tons of extra tours with me, until he was convinced that I will not have an accident, the moment I am driving on my own. (He mentioned me to drive a bit granny-style, but as further truck-/busdriver in his oppinion, being a bit of a granny, was far better then overestimating your skills or driving too fast...)

The first years, when we were rebuilding the old house we inherited, he were as well always controlling anything, because of him not believing, that as building engineer, I´d be able to mix some stupid mortar... -.- When we builded a wall for our carport, and some workers coming afterwards for others stuff were telling him how straight and exact that wall was, at least my father accepted that I seem not to be totally incapable. -.-

People often treat me like a kid even though I'm in my 30s. It can be really annoying and even feels unsafe sometimes. It has definitely made things at all the jobs I've had much more difficult. I'll share two thoughts I have on coping that have helped me deal with it.

1. Work Situations: If people are treating me like a child, they're not bullying me. A lot of times I explicitly say things like, "I can't tell if you're joking or not." I say it with all the sincerity in the world, assume anything they say back was meant kindly, and keep asking questions that probably seem stupid to them until they believe me that I really can't understand social cues. Especially at work, I avoid any mention of autism because of the stigma and purely stick to the "symptoms", the things I don't understand. It's critical that they believe that for this coping mechanism to work. And then sometimes they explain things to me like I'm a child. I get that because for them this is stuff they understood as a child. So they tell me things I don't understand in that tone that indicates they think I'm childish or slow because it's incomprehensible for them that I don't understand it. It's annoying, but a lot better than what used to happen in those situations before I did it. At least now I don't get bullied or accidentally make enemies so often anymore.

2. Social and Family Situations: Watch the French movie Amelie (Netflix has it). It's relevant because in her adventures Amelie encounters this older couple. The woman presumes the man is senile, so she treats him like a child. He just has fun with it. He secretly whispers the exact information Amelie needs and tells Amelie how he deals with being perceived as senile. He used to punch tickets on a train, so now he uses his old hole punch to make his wife's garden's leaves polka dotted. It's pretty funny. He says it relieves the stress. Sometimes when I'm being treated like a child, I just go with it and do my own version of punching holes in the garden leaves as a joke.

I never do this in work situations, though. I think it could get me fired. At work, technique #1 works better for me.

An example of technique #2 was getting together with the in-laws. I'm just now realizing that I've got many of the things I've read about on here, and the reason I've never fit in and has so many challeges in life is probably that I'm autisticish. I've sort of designed my public personality in a way that masks it reasonably well. So I needed some quiet time to lay on the rocks in the sunshine when people weren't talking very much. That wasn't easy to get because road trip. So I invented rock yoga and suggested the whole family find their own rocks and stretch and lay quietly for five or 10 minutes whenever I needed it. Yes I came off as eccentric, but it was sure better than losing it in front of them. Also it was secretly really funny to watch a bunch of NTs doing "rock yoga."

Sorry that was long, but I hope it helps...

Take advantage of it, let them do things for you. Who cares what they think?

Now, i've had this in a positive way, but also in a negative way.

Positive way - my emotional maturity with some things are quite low, most people would describe me as being very much like a teenager. So sometimes i need to be talked to or treated like i'm alot younger, for me to be able to understand and express myself confidently and comfortably.

Negative way - i've only had this from my mum, sometimes she does treat me as a child. And sometimes like a child who knows nothing about how the adult world works, about money and about work. When in actual fact, i do, and in most cases, more than she does. I can work out and connect things very easily, even if i have no real knowledge of something, i can figure it out alot of times. So for example, knowing what different tax codes are on payslips, knowing what's wrong with the car, what codes mean on a bank statement.

I definitely agree. My Mother & my Aunt's are always being worried about me just because I go out at night due to nights being "unsafe."

I always used to go out at night during Fridays & Saturdays (especially at nights) when I have the money. Heck, I used to work during the 2nd shift (& I get off on nights). They seem to have forgotten about that. Just yesterday, I went to see a movie at a theater in which I have purchased $10.50 for at 7:50 P.M. Then, 50 minutes in when the movie started, I got a call from my mother saying, "Why couldn't you get a ticket earlier?"

What, you expect me to just stay inside of the house forever, & not have any fun? Most people always hang out on Friday & Saturday nights; what the hell is wrong with that? And that's just one example.

Another one is being told what to do & how to do it like I'm slow; when I already know how to.

I'm not a small kid anymore, let alone not a teenager anymore. I'm 32 years old, for pete's sake! Ugh, I'm just annoyed by it.