The Aspie, Guilt and Security Guards ?

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I mean this honestly and its just a suggestion.
You kinda look like you have a sort of scowlly expression on your face. From that point of view. Yeah you look kinda suspicious of something or another. That's all from an ex sec guard point of view. I'm also exmilitary.
But hey I actually had a kinda scowling look on my face until I realized it. It took me a couple years of ooking at my face in a mirror before I got rid of it. I studied what my face looked like and what it looked like I i was feeling different things. I learned to mid what expression I was isplaying, even thogh I thought I wasn't or it was unintentional.
Good luck. Hope that helped some. Nobdy was ever hest with me. Though sometes I come off sunding like a jerk.

I had this problem, and to an extent still do, I sorta learned to solve it. One thing you can do, just be stupidly outgoing. Like if you see a clerk, ask them a question, or if they're like "can I help you" to which you want to reply "no, I'm just looking" at the very least, if you say you're just looking, say "thank you." Best thing to do, is go find the clerk to ask the clerk for whatever you want. Then do you develop a report with the clerk, store staff. It's better to have a sort of awkward "get to know" conversation of some kind with them, so they can recognize you and put you in their heads than being quiet and alone and stuff. Hell, talk to the security guards. I guess I learned to develop an outgoing public "shield" if you would. So in public, I can appear sorta normal, but then once I know people it gets tougher.

So I'd say it's better to walk into a shop, see the shopkeeper, be like "Hi, hello!" and at least make your presence known. Another thing that's helpful, if the shopkeeper will give you a conversation and you know them better, you can negotiate prices (if it's not like a chain store) or get free things or things they're going to throw out. One store I go to with it's "regulars" that actually talk to the clerks often, they have a "tab" credit book for people that they'll allow up to $100 or so on.

So I'd say, yeah, first thing you should do in the shop is strike up a conversation with the owner/clerk/shopkeeper, about whatever. It can be anything, even something like, model airplanes or something, but it allows you to build a report with them. Same with the security guards, hell, talk to them, too. Be friendly and stuff, you know? Even if it's an act, try to make it a good one.

That's my theory anyway, I actually am quite good at haggling prices and stuff like that, though. I'm good socially in like, public, but it's when I get to know people better that my struggles happen. So take that for what you want.

That's actually some great advice 1000knives.

I've had a problem with a police officer once who thought I was being "suspicous" when I really hadn't done anything. I always get nervous when cops are around and they sense that about me and seem to think I must have done something illegal, but luckily my Mom has always defended me explaining I have Aspergers.

I am very similar (on a good day), and i find it very annoying, because as people get to know me they start to realise that something is wrong and start to back off. I have got couple of friends, but the majority seem to like to be on the outside with me scared to let anyone in closer, as they may follow the old pattern of backing away.

yes, I thought it was just me. I've been stopped and searched and I always get followed around shops, it doesn't bother me though.

I have that problem all the time. It's like I'm walking around with a giant invisible (to me) "KICK ME" sign on my back.

I think it's a function of being perceptibly different. Plain dress, plain hair, plain face. Or it's an intuitive thing. I send out vibes that say not-like-you, not-like-you, not-like-you.

Walking around with a big ret*d smile on my face helps some. I feel like a moron-- I'm sure I look like a moron-- but it seems to make a lot of people more comfortable. It worked for my dad. I've finally come to the conclusion that I don't care if they think I'm stupid. I don't care what they think, as long as they leave me alone.

Yeah, it's kind of a shame. Same exact thing happens with me. But at least in a business sense security guards will stop bothering you and shop owners will be like "SUP WANT A FREE SANDWICH!"

this happens indeed, and it has to do with autism/aspergers.
the generally quircky way of moving about and actively avoiding eye-contact are tell-tale signs of someone that has something to hide, according to security manuals, therefor, the typical aspie has something to hide and should be kept an eye on, just in case.
nothing you can really do about it, except for flagging an autism-alert card...

One thing I managed to learn is make eye contact with random people. It's still hard for me in conversation, but if I'm in a mall or something, if I see someone make eye contact with me, I'll make it back, until they stop making eye contact with me. I don't know if this is "staring down" people or not. I pretty much only do it with males like myself, as to them, I think it's like a "check" to see who's weakest. Also, I'm not good at maintaining eye contact in a conversation. But that's what I do, with random people in public and whatever. Don't know if it's terribly good advice, coming from my warped NVLD perception of the world around me. But yeah.

That security guard was a homophobe and thought (whether correctly or incorrectly) that you were gay.

I have been followed by security guards before but honestly I think the only reason I haven't been hassled is because I'm a young white female and I'm usually carting children. I have been stared at in stores before, so I know I behave abnormally, (I wander and stare at things aimlessly because I shut down and can't concentrate) but I think the way I look protects me from harassment.

This kind of stuff happens to me too. It happened to me as a kid many times. I was accused of theft & assault, & no one would listen to my side of the story. Not even my own parents, they always believed my accusers & even sided with them. I got labeled as a trouble maker during my school years. When I was 17, I was going through customs with my group. Some of whom had alcohol (contraband if you are underage). I got sick on the plane, so security must have thought I was on drugs or something, & took forever going through my luggage looking for drugs or alcohol or other illegal items. Did they find anything? No. Did they apologize? Nope. It was the way I looked & acted that made then search. Shoot, looking back, I should have said, let me help you with your search & dumped everything out of my bag onto the floor. It woud have been nice to embarrass them. I should have also asked if they wanted to search my other bags & me as well. No one else from my group was singled out. Some years ago, a security guard followed me around Target thinking I was a potential thief. Really spoiled my trip to the store that day. i obviously look like I'm guilty even before I've done something wrong. I also got accused of stealing office equipment from my last job. A printer I purchased out of my own pocket as an agreement with my boss. I did take it with me when I was asked to leave...but it was never the company's to keep. my boss then accused me of stealing his property.