Anyone 50+?

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54 and maybe happier now that Ive abandoned the time waster that is hope, I can enjoy what I have rather than ignoring it by concentrating on what I feel I should have but never will.

And if the financial world hasn't completely collapsed by then, I can look towards my retirement when I can maybe move away from this noisy concrete hell hole and go live with the trees.

Last edited by Nambo on 31 Dec 2012, 4:33 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Hope?

I remember hope.

I think mine went out to the rubbish bin in a box marked 'Ambition'.

I would like to find some older aspies to talk to also (especially near me). I have friended a few on facebook and can chat one-on-one there. There is a FB page for aspie dating and that helps too. But it's mostly 20-somethings.

Im 54.. just finally realised that my issues are all related to aspegers,, it is actually a relief and now im planning a life around it,, not trying to be something im not all the time.

I'm 65. In one way it's a good age for me because my son is in his early 40s, and he is the one adult in my life with whom I can express myself openly, and that works both ways, he still needs a mother but not to be mothered, and I need help sometimes when my health goes through a bad phase - I had two strokes in November, both announced themselves by the loss of my eyesight, and his help was wonderful, while I recovered. So being older has enriched the bonds between us (which were always strong). He's aspie too but has a sunny personality and has done well in business and worked his way up to General Manager of an engineering firm (yep, engineering again!! !) So I have this one adult in the world who always 'gets' me, and that makes up for the downside of ageing.

When I was younger there wasn't any adult who really 'got' me, though one woman I met through work in my 50s always did make the effort to, and and never judged me negatively - that's pretty rare - and she told others "I'd trust her judgment before any of yours" - perhaps because she admired (yes admired!! !!) my aspie honesty no BS calling a spad a spade. We worked amongst a bunch of hypocrites and brown nosers trying to stab each other in the back to get promotion and we were the only ones not playing that game. And no-one could lure us into it, which perhaps they might have succeeded in doing when we were younger and more eager to please and be accepted.

She lives in a different city now though we still keep in touch now and then and my heart always warms when her name comes up on my email in box. Also being older I no longer blindly trust in the goodness of people. I only trust them AFTER they've demonstrated it over time. So being older is a bit of a blessing really for me, I'm not so naive as I was once. The down side is that I am lonelier now. Don't work and often ill and live alone (though with a lovely orange cat, Mr Orange). He gets me too!! !

Yes, I agree. I'm turning 50 this year, and was just diagnosed aspie last year.
All my issues relate to Aspergers and its a relief to finally live my life around it.
I seem to be having worse meltdowns this year...more affected by stuff. Due to peri menopause? Any others have this issue?

yes but now. i feel like as far as relaitonship goes.. there is a new set of rules i dont understand yet as ive been trying to do my by the NT book, I feel like im starting from scratch with out a manual..

Since my diagnosis I've felt more free to just be myself. It has almost given me permission to not be NT any more, even though in my relationship we have suspected this for about 9 years.

I've noticed my partner supports me more fully in my difficulties now. But I have the advantage of having a long term relationship of 24 years. We have been struggling together with my "strangeness" for forever!

It helps that we don't believe in having a normal or boring relationship.

Are you in a relationship? I would just be yourself, whatever feels natural. It may take a while to work out what that is if you've been pretending for a while

For example : I ask my partner to do anything involving the kids that will involve noisy environments, if at all possible. He takes over when I have meltdowns, esp. about making dinner. And I try not to feel too bad...that's the hard bit!! !

thats the hard part,, im not sure i trust being myself in an NT world. ive pretended to be NT for 50 years and more or less gotten by until i coudnt fake it any longer and ran,, I am happen to be myself and it is a lot less stressful but to have a relationship based on me being myself totally scares me.. as ive said before, seperate residences works the best and that is impossible to find.

Not much of a relationship if its based on pretence as I know! It's not impossible to have separate residences. Maybe another aspie would love that!

I myself now have a separate bedroom to my partner. And I ask for time out when I need it, and go for a drive and sit by the lake,or take time out in the bedroom. It's better than the alternative, living with my screaming and meltdowns

People are more accepting than we think. But you do need to be willing to be vulnerable.
Throw away the image of the person who could do it all that you are holding up to yourself. It's a false image and didn't do you any favours.

You've left all that, and now have a chance to start over with a more honest image. Any friend who is worth their salt will stick around.

But remember ...baby steps.

And be gentle to yourself.

You're worth it!

My parents had separate bedrooms, i suspect one or both were aspie but I find if u even hint at seperate bedrooms men run, seem they HAVE to have that sleeping together thing which i HATE, i cannot sleep next to anyone,, my sensory issues pick up on every little movement and i wide awake all night.. I don't know how people can sleep. Maybe with a fellow aspie who feels the same way about sleeping together and doesn't need that suffocating interaction like the NTs seem to need , but,, Im older, not particularly attractive and smart and that isnt a good combination to find an NT, much less the rarer male aspie. It seems that the idea of separate bedrooms implies that something is drastically wrong in the relationship that the women doesn't make herself available for sex at the mans desire.. which brings up another point,, I am pretty much asexual..been that way all my life which throws another major clog into the wheel.


Out side of the relationship thing im actualy happier now.. the stress is off.

no NOT, Im not in a relationship currently.

I am a 56YO and I will turn 57 very shortly. I have had the same job for a long-long time.

<--- Boring old fart.

60 and retired

+

Glad to find others near in age here.

Very good. Carry on.

I'm 57.
I'm a happy camper.
Bad luck turned good.
I live on my own out in the forest,
I've found socialising difficult all my life. Could never filter out the background when in noise, all that stuff.
Complicated by having Guillian Barre Syndrome at 25.
Owned my own businessess cause I needed flexability. Now on disability.
I've been putting alot of the differences down to that, but my GF a psych nurse, suggested that aspergers was also present. On reflection and research I believe her to be correct. Thus my presence

I've learned to come to terms with it all and have learned how to be happy.
It wasn't always easy.