Single most of your life

Post Reply New Topic

I think I'm going to use this exchange in some embroidery and hang it on my living room wall.

Personally I've been in a number of relationships, approx. 43 in total, both physically and emotionally involving but not necessarily at the same time. I was married at a young age to a man 22 years my senior. That failed miserably in 3 years. I "dated" a bit in between but nothing that was going to go anywhere.

I met my kid's dad a two years after that, we didn't plan on having any kind of serious relationship but missing birth control can change that plan quickly. We stayed together for 7 horrible, painful, resentful years regretfully. It's been 4 years and there has been some dating but I don't even try anymore. The last two years I've been mostly alone, the last of my "special friends" has lost touch and I'm fine with that.

Someone else wrote about once work was over and the realization there was nothing else. I feel exactly the same. I'm fine until I'm alone with myself, really alone with nothing else but the empty room and thoughts. That's the only problem I keep coming up against, the crippling loneliness and deep waves of depression that come when there is nothing else to distract me. Also I miss hugs from a trusted person.

I think, based on my own experiences, I'd have rather never known this kind of attachment to others because then I'd never know what I was missing.

I'm settled down in an amazingly imperfect long term relationship.

I would like to know what you did avoid being depressaed ?

That's a good question, and I'm really curious to know how others manage. I've been single for the majority of the past 7 yrs, and my dating/relationship experiences within that time typically ranged from stressful to abusive. So all of those bad experiences give me a lot of incentive to be happy single. I fill my days with my personal interests and trying to better myself. I did have an awesome 3 yr relationship when I was young and an ok 6 yr relationship in my 20s, so I sometimes miss how good things can be. But I guess for me it doesn't feel worth it to risk my emotional stability and well being on someone who is fake today and potentially abusive tomorrow. When I'm content/ happy single it reminds me I'm worth far more than being an objectified plaything for some "typical."

yep, I almost 30 and only been with one woman. I doubt I will ever date again (dam you society) but that ok.

aim 54, married once,, that ended after a year when I could not make the necessary adjustments to have someone living with me,,, i need a lot of space, I had one short living with an alcoholic a year later, thats been the end of anything serious. My ideal relationship is to have a long term bf with desperate residences.. I doubt i can find a man at my age that would accept that kinda arrangement so I have learned to be content single,, my dogs and cat are my companion now.

Ive never had a close relationship either with my parents or with men. I finaly had to come to grips with the fact that im not relationship material because of Aspergers and find happiness other ways.