Family Members Who Don't Believe Diagnosis

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Likewise, and well said. ^_^

A few years ago I tried to explain Asperger's to my mom and she just didn't want to hear it....and I learned that even back when I was a kid people at school had told her they suspected some type of autism but she refused to pursue it and said that I would grow out of it.

Gave up on trying to tell her anything about it. She doesn't want to hear it. The irony is that I most likely got it from her, because she has a *lot* of Asperger traits...poor empathy, communication, etc...

sorry for necro this thread but i want to share my experience. my mother dont believe my diagnosis. I went to a psychiatrist few years ago and she Hinted / suggested that i may have autism. i was taking 4 diferent medicines at time. she paid a expensive value(like 700 dolars doing the conversion) for exams to analyse me for the first time. the sugestion of the exams was that: i have many adhd Symptoms but i dont have adhd. i have Symptoms of PDD that started when i was younger and Persisted into adulthood. thats it. at the time the psychiatric said i have Developmental disorder not specified. its like uncommon autism. the problem is the exam dont said i have autism. it said i have the symptons. so my mother use that in her insane mind thats not enough proof for her. i go to another medics though years(like skin and lung medic) and some of then said that i seem to have autism.
shes insists that im Schizotypic problem, not autism. i search about it and im surprise of how similar the symptons are. so thats confuses me even more. my father thinks that autists are all classic, so he dont believe me. sigh.

It's shocking to me that some people don't believe in mental illnesses unless the person is exhibiting very obvious physical impairments. Some don't even believe depression is real or that drugs really do treat it. These people can be led to water, but not forced to drink it. I just give up the entire subject with them. In their head they are right. Likewise.

I don't tell anyone about my diagnosis and carry on with my life. This is how I avoid people telling me things like "I don't believe you".

Anyway, Asperger's isn't sort of a free pass. We're called "highly functional" for a reason. Nobody looks at us and says "hey look at that poor thing, he's got mental problems". They look at us and see a consumer and a tax-paying citizen like everybody else. Therefore, the Asperger's diagnosis is completely irrelevant for everyone except ourselves. Imho it shall be kept like that maybe except from that very dear, only close friend - who in the end will have doubts about your autism himself.

I don't be have an official diagnosis but my mother does this all the time. On one hand she tells me to stop being so concerned with labels (which she says about my queerness too) and on the other she criticizes me for not being social enough and needing to show more interest in what other people are into--ASD. She's easing up on the social stuff tho. Like we were watching old home movies and even on my 10th birthday we have on film the moment that I just couldn't be social anymore and went to watch TV on my own.

I have the same situation. My mother tells me all the time that she's embarrassed to tell her friends about me. I wish I didn't care what my family thinks. I wish there was a community for autistic people, we could go there and just feel excepted, and welcomed. I personally believe that autism is a natural part of evolution, but don't get me started there.

It is shocking, but ignorance is still rife in todays society, and a case of Simon Says rather than what Simon does not, is becoming all too familiar. Nobody has failed just the ones who are inconsiderate enough to not know when someone feel salone and moody in their own thought processes and can't shift the growing anxiety away. Oh God! they exclaim,
she/he/it must be mental! or worse has been said. Speech therapy and other body language stares would be subjected towards me. What do you do? Just take it on the chin and in time, you can be yourself without needing to stand out.
Critiscism from unexplained people sources usually don't offer anything other than more hate from their seemingly bewildered state. I've accepted it now, but from the O.Ps point of view, an elderly relative saying something that ridiculous and unaffected by the meaning, means he doesn't want to discover any more. Fair enough you might think, but then you have to wonder, which aspect of 'family' you share these abstract traits with.
Its no laughing matter obviously and takes alot of getting used to. Especially when the person you are attempting to explain it to, is most probably autistic and dyslexic and used to being pampered and spoiled by other family members.

Well here's my story thus far, some good, some not so much. i started dating a man with HFA back in August. i didn't do a lot of research, i thought i knew enough to know that he was what i was looking for - a person with their own set of taboo likes and someone who wasn't looking for some 24 7 romantic lovey dovey type relationship. We both approached it logically, and He could spot what was in me because he had an autistic son and figured out from the family therapist that he probably should have been diagnosed. But then one day out of the blue i started remembering that when i was a kid i used to "write in the air". Used to get smacked for it all the time, but from the memories i was having i didn't really see it as something i could really change, without the discipline that finally wrought some neuronal changes i guess. Anyway, i started getting curious if anyone else had ever done anything like that, and i started finding sites talking about hyperlexia and how kids can read really early like i did and were good at math and spelling, but most out there were saying that it was just a childhood thing that a kid grows out of and that some people might consider it to be somewhere on the autism spectrum. However, one night not long ago, i was trying to find out why dental and vision were separated from people's health, and i was looking down at my phone walking out to the balcony to smoke. My left shoulder knocked the screen door, and roomie got mad at me because maintenance is slow around here and it was going to be hot the next week and i should have been watching where i was going. i got extremely defensive because i felt attacked (because in an instance like this i am already so sorry over my own shortcoming that any admonishment can be felt too deeply). i wanted to know *why* i would feel this way, i know admonishment should be intellectually taken as constructive criticism, but it's like my hackles are instantly up. i did a search, don't remember the words i used, but ended up finding page upon page of autistic female traits, and not exaggerating probably 90% apply to me or have applied to me in the past. i am currently therapist shopping, and i just want some validation and someone to talk to. Now i realize why the gallbladder issues, how it ties in with the pcos and the migraines, the lazy eye, how hard it was to learn to drive, just flipping everything. Trying to get over the anger that this wasn't recognized before and try to move forward.

However, my significant other roommate, she is physically disabled (failed back syndrome), and she thinks i am getting ahead of myself. It's my new fixation right now, school just ended, and my brain needs stimulation so i have been reading scientific studies, blogs, everything and anything i can because it feels so good to know i am not alone. This site is wonderful, and i hope not to offend people too much more than i already have cuz it's a wonderful thing.

I'm almost 40 yo and being evaluated for ASD next week. In preparation for this, I sent my parents a list of several classic symptoms (most of which I feel describe me perfectly), and asked my parents if they remembered me exhibiting any of these symptoms or other "unusual" behaviors during childhood. Apparently this was a bad idea on my part.

They both responded, to summarize, "This isn't you at all ... Hope you fail the evaluation spectacularly." (I'm fairly sure my dad is on the spectrum, btw.)

This saddened me greatly. I feel like they don't know (and have never known) me at all. It could be that I have been able to mask my symptoms all these years so as to appear NT even to them, or that they really don't know me, or they're remembering the distant past with rose-colored glasses, or all of the above. They don't seem to understand that, from my perspective, a diagnosis would be such a great relief.

This has been bothering me all day and I just needed to share this with people who might understand.

I found it helpful to send my parents this presentation by Michelle Vines.
My mother accepted I was aspie after watching this, I think she saw the parallels to myself.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k_TIztg7GuI

It's been an interesting experience.
It's still really new to me, to know that I'm autistic, I have Asperger's, I'm on the spectrum. I figured it out in February, became almost totally sure of my self diagnosis on my 32 birthday. Only got a diagnosis three weeks ago. Still don't actually have the details of that, and I'm sure there's more to the process.
My little sister is autistic, like traditional, or low functioning. My mom adopted her when she was really young. So she's been around my sister full time for almost twenty years now. But I basically don't know my sister. I've lived with my mom less than six months out of the last 18 years (or so).
My mom seemed like she was really, really offended at first. I had spent about a month hyperfocused on self analysis, reflecting on my whole life, with this piece of the puzzle that is Asperger's. Laughing and crying at the same time because a lot of things suddenly made sense. I was convinced, and seeking help. Finally comfortable seeking help. I've had some bad experiences with the medical system.
So I sent my mom a message, saying "mom, I think I'm autistic..."
And as far as I can tell, she was pissed when she replied. I think I spent a month overwhelming her with messages, asking about what I was like when I was little, trying to get her to read an article about Asperger's.
It really didn't feel like she was on my side. Until I did an intake at the regional center here, and they called her, and talked to her for about an hour. Then it seemed like things changed, and she actually believed me. But it still doesn't feel like she's on my side.
It's kind of heartbreaking. I'm not sure she understands how much of an impact it's had on me. I don't even really understand it yet, but I thought she'd be on my side.
I'm sure that her and I will make some progress, it's still pretty early.
But it's really interesting the way people seem to react, the range of reactions, and the people who react the way they do. And sometimes it is infuriating.
I've realized that I do need to specify, sometimes, that it's Asperger's. If I say autistic, that's just too broad of a thing.
And I realize that I'm getting away from the original point here of family members who don't believe diagnosis.
And I'm just going to get more carried away if I continue.